When is it okay to send someone a facebook friend request?

Not a huge thing, but I've been thinking over this all afternoon.

The story: I'm in this club at my college, but I am always pretty awkward at meetings. I am sort of friends with this one girl, though. Anyway, we walk out of the room where the meeting was and four people - her friends - are waiting for her outside. They all start talking and I'm feeling pretty awkward just standing there, not sure if I should walk away or not (I had a question I wanted to ask her about the next meeting). Anyway, one of the guys with them, who is actually kinda cute, was all like "Omg a new face!" and offered his hand and introduced himself. I introduced myself and told him that I actually recognized him from a class I took last year (I hadn't talked to him there, but I remember faces pretty well) and we discussed that for about a minute. Then the group started to get walking, and he turned to me and asked, "You coming to get ice cream with us?" None of the other people said anything, and I could sense that I wasn't really wanted there, so I told him that I was actually off to go study at the library. Then I left.

Being the creeper I am, I found him on facebook (I'm fb friends with the girl from the club), and now I'm contemplating facebook friending him. I just feel kind of weird about it, seeing as I met him randomly and we only talked for about a minute. He was just so nice (and from I remember from the class, he is really smart too!). However, he is older and a lot more attractive and more socially competent that I am, ha ha. But what do you guys think?

Mehh said:

I wasn't really wanted there, so I told him that I was actually off to go study at the library. Then I left.

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What made you think so?

Hellhound said:

What made you think so?

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I don't know, I kind of get vibes that the girl I'm friends with doesn't actually like me that much. Like, our conversations can be pretty awkward. When we got outside, she immediately stopped listening to what I was saying, and was like "Heeeyyyyy!" to her friends and started talking to them, even though it was obvious that I was still trying to talk to her. And she made no effort to even introduce me to them or anything. So, I guess I more said no because I was already feeling really uncomfortable in the situation already, and didn't think that I would be welcome hanging out with them.

go for it?

It's ok. There are people I've only said 'hi' once and they added me. Adding a friend on facebook has no meaning anymore.

I sometimes feel weird sending facebook friend requests. Not sure why, but I do. I usually send a request if I know that person or if the person asks me to send it, otherwise I don't send the request at all.

I'd say go for it. You've already talked to him once.

Mehh said:

I don't know, I kind of get vibes that the girl I'm friends with doesn't actually like me that much.

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You could try anyway, our minds can be good at making us think about what's not actually happening

I guess sending a friend request *is* a pretty low-commitment thing. I'm just worried that he's already forgotten about me and will be like, who the heck is that? Also it's just weird because it's not like he gave me his last name or anything, and it's obvious that I had to search for him. (Not to mention, I actually forgot his name and had to look through pictures of my friend to find photos that he's in. So, if I forgot his name, he probably forgot mine).

Also, I don't want that friend of mine to think I'm a huge weirdo, as she's someone who I work with a lot and a connection that I want to keep. I feel like if I friended her cute guy friend, he might be like "Woah that one girl added me on facebook what" and she'll be weirded out.

I realize how crazy this all sounds written out...

You're overthinking it. I don't think they would be like that.

Hellhound said:

You're overthinking it.

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That is definitely true (as it usually is in these types of situations... ). I guess this is why I have so much trouble making guy friends.

ONE more thing, my facebook is also rarely used by me, and the pictures on there are old and unflattering. So, I feel like if we became friends, he would judge me. Hmm....

Mehh said:

I could sense that I wasn't really wanted there

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Gotta agree with Hellhound. Are you sure? One of the things they teach in CBT is not to "mind read"... maybe you were misinterpreting the vibes.

Chance is he might be flattered.

Don't do it! Its never OK, your PEWTER will SPLODE!!! Arghhhhhhhh!!...

Throw out a friends request, what's the worst that could happen? They might not accept?