When you think back on your life, what do you think is correlated to you having SA?

I think for me it was growing up in a very strict religion(Jehovah's Witness) and also the fact I grew up poor due to the fact my dad was schizophrenic and on disability. My mom really couldn't work outside the home because he was a full time job and also my older sister sister is bipolar, so she had her hands full with them. Also the religion I grew up was very restrictive and my parents were pretty fanatical at times and I would get in trouble for talking to boys since boys and girls aren't supposed to socialize. I also never had birthday parties or celebrated any holiday because of the religion and was teased a lot because of that in school. I did end up making a few friends at school, but because they weren't Jehovah's Witnesses they didn't work out. I did have one very good Jehovah's witness friend that died in 2008 and she was my only childhood friend.

Now, I'm 27 and an adult and always thought my life we would be so much better as a grown up, but I still deal with poverty and whenever I manged to make a friend as an adult it just doesn't work out. Most people my age have at least a few friends and I'm always on the bottom of the hierarchy of friendships. Even when I've had friends as an adult it's hard to keep up with the social aspect of things like lunches, dining out, movies, shopping together,etc because I was always lacking money.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I have a pretty visible scar which made me the target of a few bullies throughout school.
That and as I was growing up I would notice one thing, middle aged women would openly stare at it (my scar) and it would make me so angry. Even to this day I notice middle aged women will openly gawk at me. Its as if their minds shut off for a moment and they forget about what they are doing... males wouldn't openly stare, older women wouldn't.. I really don't get why middle aged women do this.
But yea, that made me very self conscious as I was growing up. I consider this playing a major part in my current mindset.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
You should consider being proud of your battle scar and come up with some cool story about it (like a bunch of dudes tried to mug you and you fought them off, stuff like that).
 

sorrow1

Well-known member
I think at the age of 13 developing severe acne was my cause. Just at the time in my life when I was moving into the big school and should have been starting to chat up girls etc I became so self conscious wanting to hide away my appearance all the time. Never really recovered from it even when my acne went away.
 

9407

Well-known member
Having a heavy lisp from up until I was 16. I was also picked on in school for being slightly overweight and having bad acne since grade 7. Oh and people also made fun of the way my voice sounded. As you can see, I was a perfect target for bullies...
 

Earthcircle

Well-known member
I grew up in a very religious household with a sadistic father, and a mother obsessed with Christ's second coming (which she seemed to believe was going to save her from the marriage which the Bible forbade her from terminating). I only had one birthday party, had a panic attack during the party, and was never allowed to have another one. I experienced a lot of homophobic bullying in school, which was also accompanied by quotes from the Bible. I spent over a decade in psychotherapy with no results whatsoever, supposedly because of a subconscious desire for therapy to fail. I am 50 now, and not sure how to proceed, although there is one med I would like to try a second time.
 

Zaki

Well-known member
I've always been shy and introverted. I was picked on a lot in school as a kid. I mean kids were really mean to me, and this went on for years. There was dysfunction at home, too. Mental issues and chaos, some abuse. I was often absent from school. I would literally tell my mom, kids are picking on me and I don't want to have to deal with them so I don't want to go to school, and she would just let me stay home. She didn't really protect me, she just let me hide. I was neglected at school and at home. Friends turned their backs on me at school because I was too boring for them and they wanted to be with the popular kids. I was never going to be a popular kid. I retracted into a shell, and I think I became so accustomed to being isolated that it became uncomfortable to be in the company of others...well, more uncomfortable. I was never totally comfortable in the first place.
 
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MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I think at a young age, when I realized what f___ faces the general population was. I stopped caring about socializing. I made no effort after about age 12 to ever assimilate again. If I did get along with people they were always at least 10-20 yrs older.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I have a pretty visible scar which made me the target of a few bullies throughout school.
That and as I was growing up I would notice one thing, middle aged women would openly stare at it (my scar) and it would make me so angry. Even to this day I notice middle aged women will openly gawk at me. Its as if their minds shut off for a moment and they forget about what they are doing... males wouldn't openly stare, older women wouldn't.. I really don't get why middle aged women do this.
But yea, that made me very self conscious as I was growing up. I consider this playing a major part in my current mindset.

I agree- scars are nothing to be ashamed of at all. Wear them with pride.
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
I think for me it was growing up in a very strict religion(Jehovah's Witness) and also the fact I grew up poor due to the fact my dad was schizophrenic and on disability. My mom really couldn't work outside the home because he was a full time job and also my older sister sister is bipolar, so she had her hands full with them. Also the religion I grew up was very restrictive and my parents were pretty fanatical at times and I would get in trouble for talking to boys since boys and girls aren't supposed to socialize. I also never had birthday parties or celebrated any holiday because of the religion and was teased a lot because of that in school. I did end up making a few friends at school, but because they weren't Jehovah's Witnesses they didn't work out. I did have one very good Jehovah's witness friend that died in 2008 and she was my only childhood friend.

Now, I'm 27 and an adult and always thought my life we would be so much better as a grown up, but I still deal with poverty and whenever I manged to make a friend as an adult it just doesn't work out. Most people my age have at least a few friends and I'm always on the bottom of the hierarchy of friendships. Even when I've had friends as an adult it's hard to keep up with the social aspect of things like lunches, dining out, movies, shopping together,etc because I was always lacking money.

I can see how all those can cause trouble and just ball up and go around in circles, especially dad not being well and the dealing with the relative with bipolar disorder thing. I know i thought it would get better then this too but it seems to be taking a long long time. by the way i befriended you
 
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