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Old 06-18-2008
Shyguest's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

This is a really depressing situation I am in. I'm a social phobia who feels phobic about being in the presence of some members of my family. Why is this the case? I really don't know what to do and the people I am allright with are making me feel guilty about not being able to so******e with my own family.

Also, the more often I get used to going somewhere like an office or something the more social phobic I get about going there, which is why I kept leaving work.

Anyone else relate to anything I have written here?
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Old 06-18-2008
Lexmark's Avatar
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Do you live with your family ?
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Old 06-18-2008
RedRibbons's Avatar
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Possibly.. I have a hard time talking to some members of my family. I get awkward, don't know what to say, uncomfortable.. I avoid situations with them.. etc. ;o

And yes. I get more shy the longer I go somewhere.. but once I get over that hump, it gets better.. I think. O_o
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Old 06-18-2008
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My SA is there with family members, all of them outside my immediate family...those I live with I'm just fine with.

Even my parents, my twin sister and grandparents I have problems with...all of them.
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Old 06-18-2008
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I too get it with family, but i get with everyone, as i sort of grew up in a hostile house-hold, the chemistry of everyone living under the same roof didn't bring us that closer together ...

i think it would have been easier had everything been more chilled out and relaxed ...but there was fighting, arguments daily ...

so that made it harder for me and i reacted by being passive agressive . ..

so it really depends on the personalities and relationship of everyone in your family ..its not always because of anxiety ..
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Old 06-18-2008
_Brittany_'s Avatar
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I'm not 100% comfortable with any of my family members so I know how you feel. It sucks cause our families are the people we should feel closet to.
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Old 06-18-2008
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Intermediate User
 

I have this, I think it's because I feel my family were so critical of me as a child. If they critisise me now, I will defend myself, but it is always tricky. A stranger however is unlikely to critisise me, and of they do, well, we will keep this nice!


Peace xxx
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Old 06-18-2008
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I only feel comfortable when I'm alone.
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Old 06-19-2008
ljwwriter's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

I am the same way around my family. About a year ago my parents sat me down for a discussion about the fact that I had yet to find a job and their frustration because of it. During the conversation I broke out into a cold sweat the same as I would with strangers. My parents could see it plain as day and seemed concerned by it, though even that scenario hardly seemed enough to convince them of the true crippling extent of my anxiety.

Now, a year later, I no longer stay with my parents and instead live with my sister. I can barely carry on a conversation with her without feeling awkward and nervous, and so I remain rather quiet around her most of the time. I usually only speak when spoken to and spend a lot of time alone in the back room watching movies and online.
As for my parents, I have barely acknowledged it, but evidently I don't feel very comfortable around them at all now. Father's Day was the first time I had spoken to my Dad in weeks, and I haven't been to my parents' home when they were actually there in a month, even though they live right down the road. The bond between my family and I seems to have all but dissipated and I'm not certain if that will change any time soon.
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Old 06-19-2008
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I still talk to my mom. I email my sister, and once in a while I talk to her on the phone. I can't stand her husband. The man can be so obnoxious. My brother I feel the worse over. I have not talked to him in several years. There are anger issues there along with social anxiety. The things he did and said to me over the years were pretty bad. He always has this suck it up mentality which I can't stand. So now my world consists of my wife, and my in laws. I feel for you guys, I really do! What do you do when you feel like your alergic to your own family? :(
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Old 06-19-2008
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I feel that i am a burden to everyone so i feel very uncomfortable and somewhat guilty.
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Old 06-19-2008
LinusMaximus's Avatar
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I think social phobics are probably the most misunderstood people on the planet!
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Old 06-19-2008
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I feel like my family doesn't really quite know me that well deep down. I also feel like my anxiety causes me to put on a fake persona when i'm around them. So it's more my fault and not theirs.

My older brother has been a huge influence to my SA though in the past years. I never really knew him growing up, then he just sort of appeared out of nowhere when I was 18 and acted very intimidating, phonie and decieving towards me. He recently found out about my SA and has thrown a couple venomous comments at me about being a hermit or whatever. But it really doesn't bother me much coming from someone I hardly know or care about, to be quite honest.

The best thing I ever did was move out and live on my own. I love it, and I'll never go back.
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Old 06-20-2008
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I am an only child, and I feel the MOST socially phobic whenever my parents are around. This causes me to be very secretive. I barely tell them anything about my life.

Maybe I have good reasons to be secretive, maybe it's all in my head, I don't know. I just know that there are very few people in my family that I can fully trust, and I hardly ever see those people.
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Old 06-26-2008
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I know what you mean. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily shy around my immediate family, but I'm usually not incredibly talkative. I live out of state from any of my family. I usually only talk to my parents about once a week for 10 to 20 minutes. Other than work there just isn't a whole lot going on in my life to talk about. Most of the conversation is just me asking them what they have been up to. I don't even talk to my older sisters once a month. I love my family and I wish I could be more talkative. I almost feel like it's too late now though. When I come home to visit it's usually a lot better in person though.

I almost never talk to any other family members outside of my immediate family. I used to talk to my grand parents on the phone every once in awhile, but they have passed away.
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Old 06-26-2008
 

I can talk with my mother about anything except my SA, but with my father i am like a 5 year old child, only answering yes or no, having this strange voice like a baby. I guess its because he got this personality i cant get along with and he always tries to make me feel bad and joke about me. I got a lot of anger in me because of that that. But I know he doesnt mean it like that and if he knew how much it hurts me he wouldnt do it I guess. But its strange he doesnt realize its hurting me my mother always tells him to stop when he goes to far. I guess he is like that because he got his own issues and just wants to feel good about himself and doesnt care about other peoples feelings.

My brother is another problem, he is a real bitch, when my SA wasnt so bad and i had friends he always made me feel like shit around my friends, everyone was makin fun of me because I couldnt do anything about it. I cant believe I got a brother like that.

I guess thats why i got SA now. Bad people around me
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Old 06-26-2008
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ΔxΔp≥h/2π
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I can't function around my family. I couldn't bring myself to say "Happy Mother's Day" so my mom thinks I hate her. Couldn't be further from the truth. She's the only person who tries to understand me, but she does a bad job of it because she doesn't know how serious of a problem SA is. I can't just tell her to let me see a doctor because she'll try to convince me there's nothing wrong... again.
With my family in general, I don't look at them when they talk to me, so everybody thinks I'm being rude. I don't talk to them unless I have something funny to say or they ask me a question. I always feel better on days when they just leave me alone.
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