Why am i so depressed that i cant be happy what i have in life?

rigby1987

rigby1987

Well-known member
Four weeks ago i met my first girlfriend in my life :D but i'm layed here a month later still socially anxious around her in general .

Shes a really nice girl and i'm happy around her most times but i find myself sat with her not been able to relax , i'm always on edge trying to think too hard of things to talk about and always thinking what if shes thinking i'm boring and dull.

Its strange because as soon as we met i was the same as I am now just quiet but she basically told me she really liked me from day one and she has made it clear that she loves me and shes always telling me this so i should be happy...

I love her too but i feel like the depression and anxiety wont back down and its going to damage the relationship , but she tells me shes not bothered about the fact i have social anxiety and she loves me for who i am but i cant seem to accept it .:mad::confused::eek::

Has anyone gone through the same thing or am i alone on this one? When will i be able to relax or wont i? .................

Thanks for readin' if ya did R/
 
J

Jamovik

Well-known member
I see that you have told her about your SA, but have you also told her how you feel (about your relationship, life, being anxious)?
 
Seasons

Seasons

Well-known member
Maybe you're being a bit too hard on yourself? You've been with her for only four weeks, she's your first girlfriend and you have SA. So I think it's only natural that you take some time to get used to it and be comfortable with being on a relationship.
Enjoy the good moments with her, if she likes you and accepts your anxiety maybe it's just a matter of you giving yourself time to adjust to this new situation? :)

Good luck!!
 
rigby1987

rigby1987

Well-known member
Jamovik said:
I see that you have told her about your SA, but have you also told her how you feel (about your relationship, life, being anxious)?
Click to expand...

Hi mate no i havent really yet because i dunno how to get it all out or how it might sound to her . Do you think i should tell her ?
 
rigby1987

rigby1987

Well-known member
Seasons said:
Maybe you're being a bit too hard on yourself? You've been with her for only four weeks, she's your first girlfriend and you have SA. So I think it's only natural that you take some time to get used to it and be comfortable with being on a relationship.
Enjoy the good moments with her, if she likes you and accepts your anxiety maybe it's just a matter of you giving yourself time to adjust to this new situation? :)

Good luck!!
Click to expand...

thanks for the kind words seasons:)
 
D

dman

Member
I think your probably exaggerating what's happening. Your trying too hard in your head. Just relax, except she accepts you as you are and dont fear silence in a relationship. be yourself, that's what attracted her to you in the first place and dont make this into a problem.
 
J

Jamovik

Well-known member
rigby1987 said:
Hi mate no i havent really yet because i dunno how to get it all out or how it might sound to her . Do you think i should tell her ?
Click to expand...

I do also worry way too much and I need reassurance from people almost every day! This was the case when I was "involved" with a girl not too long ago. She said I was "paranoid" and I was thinking too much/over-exaggerating. I'm sure that is 100% true, but it isn't easy to just "stop" worrying when you have SA. I think most people agrees with me on that on this forum ::p:

I really have no relationship experience, but if she really likes you I think you should tell her. What's the point of a relationship if you can't tell you partner stuff like this?

That's my opinion anyway...

:)
 
Emma03

Emma03

Well-known member
rigby1987 said:

I love her too but i feel like the depression and anxiety wont back down and its going to damage the relationship , but she tells me shes not bothered about the fact i have social anxiety and she loves me for who i am but i cant seem to accept it .:mad::confused::eek::
Has anyone gone through the same thing or am i alone on this one? When will i be able to relax or wont i? .................
Click to expand...


I have had depression affect my relationships. The only advice I can give about that is to be open about what you are going through and feeling. I tend to "shut down" when I am in a bad place, which isn't good for a relationship. It is great that you two have already talked about this though :) As for the anxiety, I think you will become more comfortable as time goes on. Personally, it takes me awhile to warm up to somebody and feel comfortable with them. So, give it a little time - your girlfriend sounds very understanding...I don't think it will be a problem. Good luck!
 
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