why am i so ugly?

I am sick and tired of feeling so ugly. I have a boyfriend of two years and I love him to pieces and i'm not saying I want to cheat on him or anything like that. I just wish guys would pay attention to me, I feel so jealous of my sister I live with her and any time we are out all the guys look at her even when she looks a mess (which she never does) I think I've been given the ugly gene. I just wish I could get glances, I make sure I look good every day and always walk around with a tiny smile on my face so I don't look miserable, is it because i'm fat?, I just feel fed up, the only time guys truly give me attention is at a club but that's only cause his mate talks to my mate and he wants someone to talk too so is kinda like his wingman "i'll take the fat lassie for you bro".

Even when i'm out with my boyfriend I notice girls smile at him, cause he is a charmer and a funny guy, like once we were sitting on a train and he was making jokes and smiling and the girl opposite smiled and played with her hair the whole journey...I got so defensive and kept kissing and touching him but she didn't even notice me just my boyfriend.

I am so jealous, its always been like this though for a long time...Is it because i'm quiet, all I want is a passing glance and a smile that's all I am asking for....

I feel the same way about the 'ugly gene' because my sister seems way prettier than me haha. I think the fact that you feel so much hatred towards your appearance just comes down to self-esteem issues and I know that's not a very useful thing to say but there's good and bad in everyone and you need to realise your good parts?

^What Luka said, pretty much...

You just need tae work on yer self-confidence. Be confident in yerself, not just yer appearance. I'm one tae talk, am just as insecure about ma own appearance. But ah think the reason yer not gettin' noticed much is because yer quiet. Lets face it, right, quiet people aren't exactly the life and soul o' party, are they? Am just sayin'... Ah mean the only time ah get noticed in a social situation is because am too quiet: "Eh, you dinnae talk much, dae ye?" So ah definitely need tae work on ma self-esteem and confidence as well.

Fat lassies... ugly? Nae offense intended here, darlin', but ah think yer boyfriend would disagree with that. :ironicsmile: Beautiful, more like...

Ah know it's hard to not compare yerself when you have other siblings. Ah can relate there. And ah know, we're our own worst critics when it comes tae ourselves. But ah think when you focus too much on the negative, you tend to forget and overlook the positive.

Your boyfriend is still with you, and has been for years. You can take solace in that.

I do know what you mean, though. I don't really have any answers, sorry. ::

I bet you're not ugly. People act as if it's 50/50 between attractive and ugly but in my experience it's more like 90/10. I agree with Graeme1988 about the weight thing. I like girls of all sizes but the ones who stun me the most are bigger girls. Like Garcia from Criminal Minds or that girl from Drop Dead Diva. Seriously wow.

In the end it all comes down to personality and for people like us it's hard to get ours across. I've been told I'm attractive but women don't really go for me. I'm extremely lucky that I actually managed to find someone cause of how horrible I am around people. Long story short don't be so down on yourself ok.

Yup, just a self esteem issue. I'm exactly the same way.

I'm a fickle thing because although I crave attention just like any other woman would, I then hate it. I hate being looked at. To be honest even if someone pays me a compliment I hate it because it means attention has been brought to my face lol. Hopefully soon I'll be more tolerable of it >.<

having a boyfriend has nothing to do with it, I am grateful he is in my life and all and I love him and he is the only one I can be my true self with..but it would be nice to get a wee cheeky smile or a wee double glance when i'm walking down the street once in a while!

I really don't like how supermodelish my sister looks, and I look like a giant lump even my boyfriends mates thinks shes gorgeous and ask if she is single all the time! oh well, maybe time to get a body transplant!

you are not ugly, its just the way you think and value yourself that is the problem.

doctor_who said:

having a boyfriend has nothing to do with it, I am grateful he is in my life and all and I love him and he is the only one I can be my true self with..but it would be nice to get a wee cheeky smile or a wee double glance when i'm walking down the street once in a while!

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doctor_who said:

I really don't like how supermodelish my sister looks, and I look like a giant lump even my boyfriends mates thinks shes gorgeous and ask if she is single all the time! oh well, maybe time to get a body transplant!

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Body transplant... really? Giant lump? Awww...! C'mon, stop being so down on yerself, eh? :sad: I'm sure yer a beautiful lassie. Ye just need tae build up yer confidence, that all. It's not all about looks, even if yer sister does look like a supermodel. Nae offense, darlin', am not tryin' tae be cruel sayin' that. Ah know, ma advice isnae aw that helpful...

Graeme1988 said:

Body transplant... really? Giant lump? Awww...! C'mon, stop being so down on yerself, eh? :sad: I'm sure yer a beautiful lassie. Ye just need tae build up yer confidence, that all. It's not all about looks, even if yer sister does look like a supermodel. Nae offense, darlin', am not tryin' tae be cruel sayin' that. Ah know, ma advice isnae aw that helpful...

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your advice is helpful and I feel better after reading your comments, thank you very much. I guess I just need to flaunt what I have and be happy with who I am then the confidence will come in time!

doctor_who said:

your advice is helpful and I feel better after reading your comments, thank you very much. I guess I just need to flaunt what I have and be happy with who I am then the confidence will come in time!

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Exactly! Flaut what you've got, be happy. erfect:

Pretty sums up what ah was tryin' to say... :thumbup:

doctor_who said:

I am sick and tired of feeling so ugly. I have a boyfriend of two years and I love him to pieces and i'm not saying I want to cheat on him or anything like that. I just wish guys would pay attention to me, I feel so jealous of my sister I live with her and any time we are out all the guys look at her even when she looks a mess (which she never does) I think I've been given the ugly gene. I just wish I could get glances, I make sure I look good every day and always walk around with a tiny smile on my face so I don't look miserable, is it because i'm fat?, I just feel fed up, the only time guys truly give me attention is at a club but that's only cause his mate talks to my mate and he wants someone to talk too so is kinda like his wingman "i'll take the fat lassie for you bro".

Even when i'm out with my boyfriend I notice girls smile at him, cause he is a charmer and a funny guy, like once we were sitting on a train and he was making jokes and smiling and the girl opposite smiled and played with her hair the whole journey...I got so defensive and kept kissing and touching him but she didn't even notice me just my boyfriend.

I am so jealous, its always been like this though for a long time...Is it because i'm quiet, all I want is a passing glance and a smile that's all I am asking for....

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It could be you're so self-conscious that people may be making eyes at you without you even realizing it. We become so absorbed in what we are doing or our perception of ourselves, that we can't focus on anything else.

My wife always used to tell me she would see women eyeing me when we were out together, of course I didn't believe her because I was only focused on not looking like an idiot which usually happens anyway... :bigsmile:

It really is a self-esteem thing. Even after numerous occasions of women approaching me (with my wife standing right there none the less) it hasn't really changed how I see myself. Trust me when I say, I'm sure more people find you attractive than you may think!

SomethingKeen said:

It could be you're so self-conscious that people may be making eyes at you without you even realizing it. We become so absorbed in what we are doing or our perception of ourselves, that we can't focus on anything else.

My wife always used to tell me she would see women eyeing me when we were out together, of course I didn't believe her because I was only focused on not looking like an idiot which usually happens anyway... :bigsmile:

It really is a self-esteem thing. Even after numerous occasions of women approaching me (with my wife standing right there none the less) it hasn't really changed how I see myself. Trust me when I say, I'm sure more people find you attractive than you may think!

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i second this :thumbup:

SomethingKeen said:

It could be you're so self-conscious that people may be making eyes at you without you even realizing it. We become so absorbed in what we are doing or our perception of ourselves, that we can't focus on anything else.

My wife always used to tell me she would see women eyeing me when we were out together, of course I didn't believe her because I was only focused on not looking like an idiot which usually happens anyway... :bigsmile:

It really is a self-esteem thing. Even after numerous occasions of women approaching me (with my wife standing right there none the less) it hasn't really changed how I see myself. Trust me when I say, I'm sure more people find you attractive than you may think!

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This is very true and likely to be the case...

Speaking from personal experience - There was one occasion where I was walking through the car-park of a leisure centre with my husband and a man getting out of his car who - as I walked passed - actually spun a full 180 degrees whilst staring at my legs (I was wearing a dress a little above knee-length) with a huge grin on his face... I actually felt very uncomfortable and assumed he was staring at the bruises on my legs (I bruise incredibly easily and get them all the time) and laughing to himself about them.

Then a couple of weeks later I was in a supermarket with my husband wearing a different dress... I saw the same man again - this time he stared down at my legs as I walked passed, again with a grin on his face... Again I assumed it was the bruises (Maybe he just found it hilarious that someone would walk about with bruises exposed)... But my husband insists that both times he was actually just looking because he found my legs attractive....

Now, personally, I find that hard to believe... But if it had been anyone else there would be no question in my mind that that was indeed the reason for his staring.

Those were both obvious incidents and I'm sure most people do not behave in that manner - therefore I'm certain you (OP) have had lots of people looking at you but not noticed!

I'm sure you're not as ugly as you believe yourself to be. And more than that - I'm certain you're very attractive to many people, even if not the majority.

if it's of any worth...i would never want to marry a beautiful girl....i want to be with a beautiful heart. men are pigs...don't worry...including me....it's the physical attraction that causes glances....but believe me in the long run, good looks aren't worth that much. one day ur sis will be fat n ugly n believe me she will have to bear the pain which a not so-gorgeous girl like you wont have to.

may be u can thank god for not giving u gorgeous face if u look at the bigger picture..!!u can work on being a nice person...