why are most women cold?

Why do they all seem cold to me? Do they all think they have a right to treat me like sh*t even though they don't know me or I don't deserve it?

I think you spend way too much time over thinking how women react to you. I suspect that women don't treat you any different to anyone else, you just think they do. I mean, why would they?

no1 said:

Why do they all seem cold to me? Do they all think they have a right to treat me like sh*t even though they don't know me or I don't deserve it?

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Are you judging people by thier covers?

I'd ****ing hate people to do that to me. I'm sure i've seemed all sorts of shit in the past . lol

Nah, seriously mate, whats the go?

Are you for real?

So how do women treat you? Do they insult you or look at you with disgust on their faces?

Or is it that they don't smile and acknowledge that you're there? Because to be completely honest, people do that ALL THE TIME it's not just women ignoring you, it's everybody going about their everyday lives and not making an effort to make everybody the pass on the sidewalk feel liked by them..

freestylemonster said:

So how do women treat you? Do they insult you or look at you with disgust on their faces?

Or is it that they don't smile and acknowledge that you're there? Because to be completely honest, people do that ALL THE TIME it's not just women ignoring you, it's everybody going about their everyday lives and not making an effort to make everybody the pass on the sidewalk feel liked by them..

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I certainly do FEEL insulted for some reason. and I certainly do "see" them look at me with disgust in some way. Maybe it's their eyebrows or their appearance but they look like they "snub" me yeah.

Well I cant say for sure,because I havent been in your shoes,but I think that its just you writing yourself off before you even start,I doubt they go hating on people like that,they just go on with their lifes,like freestylemonster said.

no1 said:

Why do they all seem cold to me? Do they all think they have a right to treat me like sh*t even though they don't know me or I don't deserve it?

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Describe a little more how they sem cold to you. A specific situation. That description is a little vague.

If youre talking about women who dont know you...well its not that abnormal for someone who deosnt know you to be...i dunno...cold towards you.

If you're talking about a woman u know and knows u, then u should ask yourself how are u behaving to her ? are u being cold towards her ? A lot of poeple say to me that i'm cold...but in fact..im just hiding my feelings, damn SP. For example..my ex told me after the first night that she didnt ever thought i could be so passional, cause at the first free dates i seemed so cold.

And even though they don't know you, like u said, they have the right to treat anybody as they want, not only you. It's a free country, democracy and all that. U have that right too, as long as u dont brake the law. But think a little, if u give them a chance to know you, maybe they will treat you right, did u think of that ? Because to them, you are like just any other person they see for the first time. So give them a chance to know you and you'll see a difference.

Thats my 2 cents. Take care

I wouldn't know, I've never had the chance to touch one haha.
Putting my rubbish joke aside, I do agree to an extent, in the way that I don't feel liked by them. But like freestyle said, nearly all the ones I would like to notice and like me are random ones I don't know, so its silly and unrealistic in this world to expect them to. The only problem is I don't know any females as friends so can't get any of this with anyone. I would love to live, even for a short limited time, in a world where I didn't have to know any, and would be looked at in a nice way and/or talked to in a nice way, and further than that, by all the nice girls I come across in random places who I hadn't even even seen before.

social_phobia2008 said:

Describe a little more how they sem cold to you. A specific situation. That description is a little vague.

If youre talking about women who dont know you...well its not that abnormal for someone who deosnt know you to be...i dunno...cold towards you.

If you're talking about a woman u know and knows u, then u should ask yourself how are u behaving to her ? are u being cold towards her ? A lot of poeple say to me that i'm cold...but in fact..im just hiding my feelings, damn SP. For example..my ex told me after the first night that she didnt ever thought i could be so passional, cause at the first free dates i seemed so cold.

And even though they don't know you, like u said, they have the right to treat anybody as they want, not only you. It's a free country, democracy and all that. U have that right too, as long as u dont brake the law. But think a little, if u give them a chance to know you, maybe they will treat you right, did u think of that ? Because to them, you are like just any other person they see for the first time. So give them a chance to know you and you'll see a difference.

Thats my 2 cents. Take care

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Well I dunno. i thought, that maybe they want me to be more outgoing, and that since I'm not so outgoing, I can seem to them sort of cold. Or mad... or just... cold. And it results in cold behavior on their part. Like, do they expect me to be very brave and just, and say hi to them in an absolutely uncaring, joking way (as in "I don't care what you think, I'm sayin hi whether you like it or not, in a flirting way too"). Or just.. be a little more friendly, and be more nice in a more outgoing way... as can happen as you are more outgoing you also tend to be more courteous, because well you have more people to be courteous to because you are talking to more people.

Maybe they can see just by my look that I may like some of them, and might expect me to say something, and if I don't say something they think of me as a "pussy". That right there, just BREAKS me heart if they think that way because this is no easy task. or they might think of me as being cold and selfish because of this.

I really don't know but I always assume girls don't want to talk to strangers, unless they are super hot or super... nice and outgoing in the sort of "hey how's it goin" kind of demeanor with everyone you come across. thing is I don't know when to do this, or not to do this because I always feel people will not welcome it. Also... in my face there might already be some fear.. and that can turn people off because they can be so dense that they just mirror back to you what you give them and can't think of anything else. And they hate me because of it.

I don't know.

no1 said:

Like, do they expect me to be very brave and just, and say hi to them in an absolutely uncaring, joking way (as in "I don't care what you think, I'm sayin hi whether you like it or not, in a flirting way too"). Or just.. be a little more friendly, and be more nice in a more outgoing way...

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Yes.
Although I'm quite far from being an expert on the subject of conversing with women, I've found that just being friendly works wonders for the encounter. If you're afraid, worried, or whatever when you approach someone she'll usually pick up on it right away. And once she's uncomfortable, you'll have a hard time getting a favorable reaction out of her.

It's probably not the best analogy to use, but imagine approaching an unfamiliar dog. If you walk up looking all tense and nervous, the dog picks up on that and you're more likely to get bitten. On the other hand, if you're friendly and nonthreatening, the dog might let you pet it. Not that you necessarily want to pet every dog or girl you talk to, though.

Seriously though, just being friendly to people usually won't creep them out. And I've been guilty of the awkward, silent approach too many times myself. So just give it a whirl. At first you'll be nervous or afraid, but as you get used to doing it you'll gain more confidence in yourself. And after a while it'll become second-nature, and you'll wonder why it ever made you nervous at all.

Oh, and you're not a pussy for not saying anything. For all she knows, you might not be interested enough to say anything. Heck, maybe by looking interested and not saying anything you're making her wonder what's wrong with herself.

Tiercel said:

Yes.
Although I'm quite far from being an expert on the subject of conversing with women, I've found that just being friendly works wonders for the encounter. If you're afraid, worried, or whatever when you approach someone she'll usually pick up on it right away. And once she's uncomfortable, you'll have a hard time getting a favorable reaction out of her.

It's probably not the best analogy to use, but imagine approaching an unfamiliar dog. If you walk up looking all tense and nervous, the dog picks up on that and you're more likely to get bitten. On the other hand, if you're friendly and nonthreatening, the dog might let you pet it. Not that you necessarily want to pet every dog or girl you talk to, though.

Seriously though, just being friendly to people usually won't creep them out. And I've been guilty of the awkward, silent approach too many times myself. So just give it a whirl. At first you'll be nervous or afraid, but as you get used to doing it you'll gain more confidence in yourself. And after a while it'll become second-nature, and you'll wonder why it ever made you nervous at all.

Oh, and you're not a pussy for not saying anything. For all she knows, you might not be interested enough to say anything. Heck, maybe by looking interested and not saying anything you're making her wonder what's wrong with herself.

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What if my interest is so strong... that it makes me not want to talk to her even more? Because perhaps fear of looking like a creep, or fear of coming off as too desperate... or too focused on it. ie maybe putting out a stalker-ish vibe. You don't want to scare someone off... with fear.

I hate it. I feel like I have a forcefield around me (literally) and it paralyzes me. It's hard to reach out of and hard for others to reach me.

I just hope.. that if one day this happens (hopefully it won't) but if it does happen, that a girl won't judge me.. and that she will actually be kind of helpful with me. Does anyone here think so?

Because if I want to "hit" on a woman (even with small talking)... well. It might happen?

Also.. if I were to desensitize myself, by just making the effort to randomly make small talk with girls who I like, or look good, with no intentions... that would mean that the first couple of girls I meet, I will have fear at least until I get over that fear.

In this case... that might mean facing intense rejections from the women, as these are also EXPERIMENTS... and I don't feel like it's right to just USE people for experiments... and bombard them with all these stalker-ish and fearful vibes just to desensitize myself. Wouldn't it be disrespectful?

Also.. it would not be 'accurate' to "practice" even so, because women that you do REALLY like you don't want it to be practice... and the ones that you use practice with are not the ones you really like....

I guess that might mean... missing out on some very big major crushes at the beginning.

Why are most women cold? Look at how men have abused women throughout our history and the answer is obvious. They are cold because they want to prove to us that they can be independent and that they don't need a man to succeed in life. The 21st Century is an age when women can finally be equal to men.

Well if they were Eskimo women they would be cold wouldn't they

or schizoid women.. the generalization on this forum is amazing...

Tiercel said:

Yes.
Although I'm quite far from being an expert on the subject of conversing with women, I've found that just being friendly works wonders for the encounter. If you're afraid, worried, or whatever when you approach someone she'll usually pick up on it right away. And once she's uncomfortable, you'll have a hard time getting a favorable reaction out of her.

It's probably not the best analogy to use, but imagine approaching an unfamiliar dog. If you walk up looking all tense and nervous, the dog picks up on that and you're more likely to get bitten. On the other hand, if you're friendly and nonthreatening, the dog might let you pet it. Not that you necessarily want to pet every dog or girl you talk to, though.

Seriously though, just being friendly to people usually won't creep them out. And I've been guilty of the awkward, silent approach too many times myself. So just give it a whirl. At first you'll be nervous or afraid, but as you get used to doing it you'll gain more confidence in yourself. And after a while it'll become second-nature, and you'll wonder why it ever made you nervous at all.

Oh, and you're not a pussy for not saying anything. For all she knows, you might not be interested enough to say anything. Heck, maybe by looking interested and not saying anything you're making her wonder what's wrong with herself.

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Thats what I was trying to get at!

I'm so guilty of this its not funny. ::

freestylemonster said:

So how do women treat you? Do they insult you or look at you with disgust on their faces?

Or is it that they don't smile and acknowledge that you're there? Because to be completely honest, people do that ALL THE TIME it's not just women ignoring you, it's everybody going about their everyday lives and not making an effort to make everybody the pass on the sidewalk feel liked by them..

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I agree.

no1, you know perfectly well what the problem is but you want to blame anything else but yourself. You obviously make NO effort to overcome your fears and approach women, so you have these irrational beliefs about them hating you, or being robotic, or being whores, etc. What ACTION have you actually taken to approach women in the past few months? Have you made an effort to talk to any women you don't know? Have you struck up any conversations? Or have you only stared at them in public, too afraid to act, and then posted resentful comments about them on the Internet?

bleach said:

I agree.

no1, you know perfectly well what the problem is but you want to blame anything else but yourself. You obviously make NO effort to overcome your fears and approach women, so you have these irrational beliefs about them hating you, or being robotic, or being whores, etc. What ACTION have you actually taken to approach women in the past few months? Have you made an effort to talk to any women you don't know? Have you struck up any conversations? Or have you only stared at them in public, too afraid to act, and then posted resentful comments about them on the Internet?

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**** you you don't know what I do to overcome my fears, because I do my best. Simply because I complain doesn't mean I don't do anything.

and yes I've talked to women I don't know.

I just dont go right away and stat hitting on them and I usually try to start off with small talk.

Women are complicated...

1st impressions last.....til the second impression.

And if you cant see this, then I think you need to frequent new places, talk to new girls, you know like a blank slate?

If it is just one chick your obsessing over, then you've got nothing to lose. Find out once and for all if there's a chnce she might like you. Its up to you how you approach it, just think positively.