why are people really bothered by negativety?

da_illest101

Well-known member
I'm wondering why do some people have a really hard time hearing, reading about something negative. How does it affect your mood etc? Is it how the message come across or the way it was written? I'm talking about negative threads

I'm a fairly negative minded person so when someone is negative it doesn't do anything to me. It doesn't make me happier or kill my mood. My life in general is not a very postive one so it's kinda hard to come up with positive threads most of the time. It's like the saying: " if you have nothing positive to say you better shut up", but positivity is not always the truth.

No ones loves someone who complain all the time, but complaining a few times and talking about the negativty helped me a lot in my life. Life isn't always positive, so we can't only talk about it.

Edit: I meant negative threads, not bad news like death and stuff. I forgot to specifie that
 
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psych

Well-known member
Idk, to me, some of the best comedy arises from negativity. Some of the funniest times in my life, were also some of the lowest times... But, that's just me.
 

KiaKaha

Banned
but positivity is not always the truth.

Indeed. Which is why I have such a hard time with people who put falsely put on a positive face....all-the-time.

The reason people dont like negativity is because it makes them feel bad. It's hard to be around a negative person - it's like they are sucking all the joy out of the room, and that brings other people down. People dont like feeling unhappy.

It's also because people view negative people as "giving up" or "not seeing the bright side of life" or that you are "choosing" to be unhappy or "attention seeking" or "complaining" any of that nonsense - people are unwilling to give sympathy to people who seemingly are not trying hard enough to make the most of their own situation.

Which of course.. is completely understandable, but it is a deeply flawed and incorrect philosophy to those who DO have negative thinking patterns.

It makes me laugh some of the posts on here about people who complain and are negative on this forum - I mean come on - this is website full of depressed, socially phobic, low self esteem, abused, mentally ill, cynical, bitter, lonely people.... and yet there is MASSIVE indirect implication that we all have to choose to snap out of it. Wrong approach - and it doesnt work.

If people get frustrated with negativity - I would suggest they try a different forum.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I am a sensitive person.
Sensitive people are like sponges. Surrounded by good things, they feel good. Surrounded by bad things, they feel bad.

I don't want to feel bad.
There's enough in the world to feel bad about if I think about starvation, natural disasters, abuse, war, drought, etc. and I am and will always be permanently affected by them.
As for my free time, I prefer to try and not surround myself with negativity-- to try and balance it out with some small amount of positive.
 

Kat

Well-known member
My natural reaction wants to lift the person up I hate people feeling bad I understand their feelings
And I know just saying some positives words may not help the person but then again it maybe what they exactly need.
 

Ashiene

Well-known member
I'm wondering why do some people have a really hard time hearing, reading about something negative. How does it affect your mood etc? Is it how the message come across or the way it was written? I'm talking about negative threads

Same reasons why witnessing a suicide affects most people's moods and makes them feel depressed.

I'm a fairly negative minded person so when someone is negative it doesn't do anything to me. It doesn't make me happier or kill my mood. My life in general is not a very postive one so it's kinda hard to come up with positive threads most of the time. It's like the saying: " if you have nothing positive to say you better shut up", but positivity is not always the truth.

Yes, some people who are too positive may not really have good lives, but they are delusioning themselves with a false sense of hope or suppressing their despair with escapism or fantasy.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
If I am even more negative, there is no way people would want to hang out with me, especially my best friend who is a walking positivity vending machine.

He knows how negative I can become but I always try to suppress it when around him because I know he just doesn't want to hear it. I think it would bother him if I told him what I was really thinking.
 

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
The reason people dont like negativity is because it makes them feel bad. It's hard to be around a negative person - it's like they are sucking all the joy out of the room, and that brings other people down. People dont like feeling unhappy.

Pretty much exactly this. Sadness spreads sadness, hate spreads hate, anger spreads anger. They are like infections. It is the same thing with happiness. It is a much better feeling to happy than to be sad.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Pretty much exactly this. Sadness spreads sadness, hate spreads hate, anger spreads anger. They are like infections. It is the same thing with happiness. It is a much better feeling to happy than to be sad.

I agree but unfortunately you always can't be happy. But its one of the reasons I try to keep it inside for the most part, except for when it becomes too much.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Negativity is killing me. Angry, fearful, worrying thoughts take their toll on my physical and mental health. They get hard-wired in my brain and they effect my behaviour. I'm looking for more positivity, because I'm sick to death or these freaking awful thoughts dominating my life.

Looking for the positive is pragmatic. I need to change to survive. If anyone wants to be unhappy the they're welcome to it.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Negativity is killing me. Angry, fearful, worrying thoughts take their toll on my physical and mental health. They get hard-wired in my brain and they effect my behaviour.
I'm sorry this is happening but I'm sure this is happening to me, too.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I'm sorry this is happening but I'm sure this is happening to me, too.

It can MikeyC, those repetitive thoughts can really build up pathways that become almost instinctual. The worst thing that happened to me was that those thoughts boiled over into a series of panic attacks. My mind said enough and gave me something else to worry about- dying.

I'm happy only a small amount of the time, but I have proven I can open up those happy neural pathways and wow! does it feel fantastic. Stuff being negative I want more happiness!
 

MsBuzzkillington

Well-known member
I agree but unfortunately you always can't be happy. But its one of the reasons I try to keep it inside for the most part, except for when it becomes too much.

True, I agree and there is really no need to try and force yourself to be happy ALL THE TIME. It is okay to be sad sometimes, it is okay to grieve. I think sometimes it is okay to be a little hard on yourself, to try and motivate yourself to go farther.

But there is a difference between complaining sometimes and complaining all the time. There are some people who seem to refuse to try and think positively. They just say "I am a negative person, that is just who I am" and don't even attempt to say something positive. I know what it's like to not be able to think something positive, but when you can't even participate in a positivity thread without throwing something negative in... that is when I personally have the problem. I don't mean you or anyone specific, just people in general. It is kind of annoying when people "don't try".
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
True, I agree and there is really no need to try and force yourself to be happy ALL THE TIME. It is okay to be sad sometimes, it is okay to grieve. I think sometimes it is okay to be a little hard on yourself, to try and motivate yourself to go farther.

But there is a difference between complaining sometimes and complaining all the time. There are some people who seem to refuse to try and think positively. They just say "I am a negative person, that is just who I am" and don't even attempt to say something positive. I know what it's like to not be able to think something positive, but when you can't even participate in a positivity thread without throwing something negative in... that is when I personally have the problem. I don't mean you or anyone specific, just people in general. It is kind of annoying when people "don't try".
I agree, sometimes we need to push ourselves regardless of how we feel for our own good. Its not easy of course but sometimes it has to be done.
Kiwong and Mikey, I hope you feel better.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
It can MikeyC, those repetitive thoughts can really build up pathways that become almost instinctual. The worst thing that happened to me was that those thoughts boiled over into a series of panic attacks. My mind said enough and gave me something else to worry about- dying.
You sound like you reached almost rock bottom, which I sometimes believe is necessary before realising you can be positive. I sometimes feel I need something extraordinary to happen in a bad way before I can improve rapidly. But we'll see.
 

MrJones

Well-known member
I can be very negative, especially when talking about myself. People don't like negativity, so people don't like me. It's understandable. I try to be more positive when talking to others, though, but always telling the truth (not sugarcoated false hopes).
 

mikebird

Banned
Yep.

Important point.

We are all set apart for the usual mindset of humans.

Maybe 50:50 split. Those born to 17-year-old, successful, healthy people who are LOL, always in an absolute state of triumph. Those who naturally bump into any stranger and kisses and cuddles. Who never stop smiling & laughing, always on exotic holidays; I warn those about ending up with very wrinkly skin at age 40.

My first chance of life was a girlfriend who, whenever we were around her lifelong schoolfriends, her regular comment was 'oh, Mike, you're so negative' That's my satirical, sarcastic take on making people laugh at something untrue

On dating websites, I say I like down-to-earth people, who've been through the wrangler, and know how to deal with life.

The stuff that makes us harder, more resilient. Does it, or does it make us worse?

I am like that. I criticise strangers who call me. I feel entirely superior to everyone with an outlook of: :) :D :mad:

Realist
 
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Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
I don't think I get particularly bothered by negativity. We all feel negative about things at times. I also find that other people's negativity can sometimes force me to examine my own situation and focus on the positives in my life.
 
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