Why can't I ever think of the right thing to say

gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
Always when people are are messing with me, or being rude, I NEVER come up with the right comeback. However, after a while I replay everything, and know the EXACT right thing to say back. I wish I could train myself somehow to be more witty when I need to be.

It's frustrating. The number of times I wished to throw back some things when people were being dicks to me..
 
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laure15

Well-known member
gustavofring said:
Always when people are are messing with me, or being rude, I NEVER come up with the right comeback. However, after a while I replay everything, and know the EXACT right thing to say back. I wish I could train myself somehow to be more witty when I need to be.
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I know! When something bad happens to me, I can get so overwhelmed by the emotions, the embarrassment, the fear that I can't think straight. It's not until I get home and replay it all in my head that I come up with solutions, but by then it's too late. I am "socially slow" and I wish I am more witty.
 
knowledgeofself

knowledgeofself

Well-known member
i'm exactly the same, its worse if i'm feeling emotional like sad or unhappy or angry. its really embarrassing sometimes I feel people walk all over me. I also have a problem where I can't generally say the right thing at the right time, i'm a bit slow with trying to think up what it is I mean to say.
 
gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
knowledgeofself said:
i'm exactly the same, its worse if i'm feeling emotional like sad or unhappy or angry. its really embarrassing sometimes I feel people walk all over me. I also have a problem where I can't generally say the right thing at the right time, i'm a bit slow with trying to think up what it is I mean to say.
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Yeah me too. Especially with certain people who I've already had negative situations like these with before, I get blinded with emotion or blank out. I just let them tremble all over me.. It's like they can sense it, and will use it to their advantage.

Definately gonna work on this.
 
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satstrn

Well-known member
Just get up in their face and say something. Don't do nothing because that gives them license to walk all over you. Just get up close to em and say hey, you got a problem? Why dont you mind your own business, etc. Laugh them off. Dont let them get to you so much and youll be fine.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Yeah I'm totally like that. I tend to think up smart comebacks if I'm arguing with my brother, but I've had many years practice with him, so I think that helps. :rolleyes:

I can be witty, but if someone I don't know or barely know insults me, I get so caught up in my emotions and anxiety that I can't think of anything off the spot.
 
Invisibleman

Invisibleman

Well-known member
I was JUST thinking about this last night. Im probably the most unwitty person ever. And the fact that I have an extremely short temper I can easily get caught up in emotion and it just blanks my head and I just want to use physical force.

I need practice but I dont have any communication with anybody in real life other than my parents.
 
gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
It's sad that in my defense against nasty people I feel like I need to stoop to their level of manupilation, arrogance and popularity contests.

Wrestle not with monsters...

How I wish to live with enlightened people who don't have all this ego going on.
 
oddOne

oddOne

Active member
kristina303 said:
I'm just bad at comebacks all together lol.
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Comebacks aren’t exactly my strength either. The intensity of the moment tends to “blank out” my brain. As a kid, I’d compensate by throwing rocks and/or punching the insulting party. Since I probably wouldn’t be able to get away with that now, I usually just walk away and/or say nothing while calmly smiling. Doing that tends to p!ss off the other person, which usually makes me laugh.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
Yeah I'm totally like that. I tend to think up smart comebacks if I'm arguing with my brother, but I've had many years practice with him, so I think that helps. :rolleyes:

I can be witty, but if someone I don't know or barely know insults me, I get so caught up in my emotions and anxiety that I can't think of anything off the spot.
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then you've got it made in my opinion.

the whole non-comeback problem could be the soul reason why i leave my current job. its a bit cliquey there and everyone jokes around with one liners, i'm too anxious because of the pressure of the job to be coherent-witty. plus you have to shout because the machines are so loud. i also think you have to be happy to be able to be witty and i'm not happy a this job environment. some people can fake it, i just can't fake it. its sensory over load.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
oddOne said:
Comebacks aren’t exactly my strength either. The intensity of the moment tends to “blank out” my brain. As a kid, I’d compensate by throwing rocks and/or punching the insulting party. Since I probably wouldn’t be able to get away with that now, I usually just walk away and/or say nothing while calmly smiling. Doing that tends to p!ss off the other person, which usually makes me laugh.
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same here.

only when im fully relaxed like in a non formal situaiton outside of work, maybe sitting on the couch do i start to open up more and can think clearly.

at work i'm a different person. i'm too sensitive at work i think, under pressure.
 
JuiceB

JuiceB

Well-known member
Not good with comebacks here either, except maybe dropping a few F-bombs here and there.
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
Yep!

I know it's important. Interaction. Have something sharp ready to say. I read & write. I like this forum

I don't listen enough. I can't make sense of what people say. I get bored. I get lost in my own thoughts as others speak / lecture / announce. I give up, and listen to myself. Whenever I come up with my own announcement, I talk over others and cut them off. They don't like what I say - a person from a different universe - I talk about myself.

Interviews go this way. The worst bit at the end is when they ask 'do you have any questions for us?' I always go in with a list in my head to go through at the end. It's all lost. I have to listen to their scattered rubbish for hours.

I always come up with ... the best part of the conversation I should have thought of, right in the middle. I only have this ready afterwards
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
I am the same. When I am under stress/pressure from someone my self-esteem takes a nose dive. So even if I do have something in my mind to come back with, I don't have the confidence to say it :/
 
oddOne

oddOne

Active member
mikebird said:
I don't listen enough. I can't make sense of what people say. I get bored. I get lost in my own thoughts as others speak / lecture / announce. I give up, and listen to myself. Whenever I come up with my own announcement, I talk over others and cut them off. They don't like what I say - a person from a different universe - I talk about myself.
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I almost confused your message with the words swirling around in my own head . . . sort of disorienting how someone half a world away can have a thought process nearly identical to my own…

mikebird said:
Interviews go this way. The worst bit at the end is when they ask 'do you have any questions for us?' I always go in with a list in my head to go through at the end. It's all lost. I have to listen to their scattered rubbish for hours.
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Here’s where our minds diverge a bit. Long story short, playing the interview game comes natural to me as I’m essentially a born bullsh!tter, which makes getting hired the easy part [for me]. STAYING hired is another story, mostly because I have a “talent” for smarting off to the wrong people… Granted, I should be more careful . . . but its pathetic how easily offended so many people are… Eh, whatever.
 
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becomingqueen

New member
I have the same problem..always think of the best way to handle a situation and the right things to say way after the fact when I tend to think..and over think.. Im taking improv classes soon.. maybe it will help. Tired of always being walked over, and the embarrassment and shame within myself that comes from it. Id rather assert myself so I can be proud later.
 
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Solo Dolo

Well-known member
I am the EXACT same way...have been for a while and it has severely crippled my social life to say the least. If I was just more witty I bet I could be fairly popular .....but nope
 
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