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Old 11-28-2013  
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Default Re: why do conversations bore me? :(

Are you participating in them much? If you're just listening while people do things like toss out movie quotes and facts, then that's probably why it gets boring. Not a lot of people have interesting monologues.
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Old 11-29-2013  
Zod
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Default Re: why do conversations bore me? :(

I have trouble with this also.

So many things people talk about seem so incredibly trivial and pointless. Some people really seem to have a steady supply of stuff to talk about, whereas I mostly want to keep things short and simple. I think Bronson99 is right on the money that it might have something to do with ADD. Also, it's sometimes just a matter of differing interests and so forth.
Most of the time at work I'd rather just shut up and daydream a bit, or just focus completely on the work, but awkward silences are painful also.

Last edited by Zod; 11-29-2013 at 01:08 AM..
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Old 11-29-2013  
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Default Re: why do conversations bore me? :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyC View Post
While I don't know a single person who could talk for hours about wooden floors, part of being a good friend is to be interested in, or at least show attention to, what your friend is talking about. If I went up to a friend of mine and they were visibly uninterested and/or uncaring about something exciting I wanted to share, would they be a friend?

I have had friends in the past - one in particular springs to mind - who would always, always, always talk about herself in great detail, and couldn't give two shits about what I wanted to discuss, unless she could throw a segue about her life. That was awful.

To answer your question, Bronson: yes, act interested, or at least act like you're listening and not trying to turn the conversation back to yourself. However, be reasonable, too. You have as much worth as your friend does.
The "wooden floor I'm getting for my new house".. that person is the kind you're talking about in the bold print. Everything they're doing in life, every last thing, is interesting for them, but not so much for the other person.

But I was talking more in broad terms about what I perceive as "normal people." Anything, almost anything, is interesting to many of these "normal" people. I'm saying, I wish I could be like that, it would make things a lot easier for me. It's not presumptuous for me to say that people without ADD can focus better than people with ADD. The simple logical conclusion one derives from this fact is that somehow, mundane activity--anything from discussing the different kinds of wooden floors available, to reading a book about the History of Door Knobs from front to back--is more stimulating for them. Why this is, that's something that's up for debate, but it is a general consensus among researchers. The ADD and non-ADD brain are different.
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Old 11-29-2013  
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Default Re: why do conversations bore me? :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronson99 View Post
The "wooden floor I'm getting for my new house".. that person is the kind you're talking about in the bold print. Everything they're doing in life, every last thing, is interesting for them, but not so much for the other person.

But I was talking more in broad terms about what I perceive as "normal people." Anything, almost anything, is interesting to many of these "normal" people. I'm saying, I wish I could be like that, it would make things a lot easier for me. It's not presumptuous for me to say that people without ADD can focus better than people with ADD. The simple logical conclusion one derives from this fact is that somehow, mundane activity--anything from discussing the different kinds of wooden floors available, to reading a book about the History of Door Knobs from front to back--is more stimulating for them. Why this is, that's something that's up for debate, but it is a general consensus among researchers. The ADD and non-ADD brain are different.
Talk to my confident, outgoing friend about wooden floors and he would be bored instantly.

I guess it depends on personality, as well, and whether you're interested in learning about new things, if you're even an approachable and likeable person, and so on.
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Old 11-29-2013  
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Default Re: why do conversations bore me? :(

I can have long conversation with myself and I always listen, never get bored. Politics never gets in the way, we share the same interests, similar expectations. I'm not kidding myself that I am some master conversationalist, so I am hesitant about being critical of what anyone else has to talk about.

And I laugh as I drift in the wind, Blind, Dancing on a beach of stone

A strange Day the Cure


In solitude , where we are least alone

Lord Byron
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Old 11-29-2013  
Zod
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Default Re: why do conversations bore me? :(

i think it's also partly a cognitive thing, at least with me. Maybe because as introverts we spend more time alone, or more time reading (on the internet or books) we don't have as much mental finesse with talking in person.

In most conversations I have absolutely no clue what to say. When people talk about things like regulations, work related things, financial things, cars, sports, maintenance, technical stuff, I usually have a very basic and somewhat childish knowledge of these things, or have trouble gathering what I do know and throwing it out there. My interest lies more with politics, movies, culture, music, history, a bit of science, and that sort of thing. I usually save my neck with these conversations by pretending I'm somewhat knowledgable, cover myself up by making jokes, or just don't speak at all.

Last edited by Zod; 11-29-2013 at 04:24 PM..
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