Originally Posted by TooShyShy
Or at least have some feelings or an attraction for her? Why hide your feelings and not acknowledge them? What is the worry in the girl knowing this? Why hold back?
Is it better to live this way and watch, stare, fantasize about her from afar and be sad and lonely rather than let the girl know you are attracted to her?
Why hide my feelings ? Great. I found my cbt sheet here with my core beliefs and assumptions and rules. Here is around 10% of them.
1. feelings of attraction are a sign of weakness.
2. women are people who can't be trusted and just want to hurt and humiliate when you turn out to not be the person they thought you were.
3. showing any flaws in my behaviour or personality is completely unacceptable
4. other will think I'm just a dirty pervert for wanting to be in a relationship and interested in sex.
5. My feelings and needs for love and sex are worthless and not valid.
6. other men are better than me and more worthy to be in a relationship than me and I must step aside and avoid all contact with women.
7. being disapproved of in front of a women will show her how unacceptable I am.
8. other people will explain to her why she shouldn't be going out with me because of how much of a loser I am.
9. shyness and being quiet is absolutely a no no when being around a girl.
10. being around a woman will show everyone how good I am. But others will attack my pride because I don't deserve it and I'm not good enough
11. others must treat me special whenever I'm in a relationship and they must be extra nice to me.
12. my appearance is pathetic and no girl would ever want to have anything to do with me.
13. girls do not like boys and they should not communicate with one another. Such things are evil and naughty and must be punished.
14. I am a little boy trying to play in a man's field and have no place in trying to gain the approval of a women.
15. I'm just a loser and a freak and a weirdo, and what was I thinking even contemplating a relationship.
I wish I could watch, stare and fantasize because at least that is some freedom. But I can't and am only just beginning to make progress in anxiety over feelings and emotions.