why do people perceive me as being weird/eccentric?

Whenever I get a chance to talk to a female(rare probably once out of a year), I get the impression that she is afraid of me or doesn't want anything to do with me.I don't know what it is.Could it be that I'm not used to communicating with the opposite sex, and I press too hard?Nothing is wrong with my appearance.I know for a fact that I'm an attractive guy;however,I can't seem to attract the opposite sex.


What can it be?

What can I do about this?
 

lettypagb

Well-known member
I dont know how to say this , but you just have to talk to any girl you want , and ask them out. that is no problem with girl-man , unless youre not atractive..
 

Anubis

Well-known member
First of all, it's good that you're not showing any signs of negativity from your apparent signs of rejection. A lot of people go straight to the "I'm no good" state of thinking (as did I) and think their lack of success is intrinsic to their selves. But you still think you're a worthwhile and attractive person albeit maybe with some slight inexperience with the ladies. And that's a good start.

I would suggest observing how others start conversations and learn from their success. There's a lot of Youtube, etc. videos out there with great tips. Whatever gives you real-world experience will help you improve.
 

SickJoke

Well-known member
As long as you're well groomed, looks aren't really important to girls. It all comes down to personality. If you're consistently getting the impression that girls are afraid of you, then you're doing something to creep them out. This could be any number of things: weird eye contact, lack of emotional expression, any type of awkwardness or incongruity in your behavior.

The solution is to correct that stuff, learn how to be a fun guy to be around, learn how to socialize, etc. How you do that is up to you: it's going to take some research and/or trial and error.
 
As long as you're well groomed, looks aren't really important to girls. It all comes down to personality. If you're consistently getting the impression that girls are afraid of you, then you're doing something to creep them out. This could be any number of things: weird eye contact, lack of emotional expression, any type of awkwardness or incongruity in your behavior.

The solution is to correct that stuff, learn how to be a fun guy to be around, learn how to socialize, etc. How you do that is up to you: it's going to take some research and/or trial and error.


Can therapy help?
 

SickJoke

Well-known member
Can therapy help?

Yeah group CBT sessions would help, and there are other options, it's up to you. You could make friends with someone who's good with girls and watch him in action, ask him questions, get him to tell you what you're doing wrong, etc, or you could keep practicing on your own and going with the old trial and error method.
 
Yeah group CBT sessions would help, and there are other options, it's up to you. You could make friends with someone who's good with girls and watch him in action, ask him questions, get him to tell you what you're doing wrong, etc, or you could keep practicing on your own and going with the old trial and error method.


I don't smile much.


Does smiling make a big difference?
 

zofia-life-coach

Active member
Practice, practice and practice talk to as many girls and as often as possible without any expectation.
Find a dating coach or read a few books. There is plenty of them on the market. Chatting up girls is a skill you can learn.
Good luck
 

Havocan

Well-known member
Can it be that you're shy and somewhat uncomfortable in the presence of girls and put on a shell of strictness and seriousness to hide your shyness, hence the rejections?
 
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