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Old 01-23-2012
 

No one likes to be wrong. I know I dont. Yet.... I find it intriguing that at some point we are all wrong about something at some point in our lives... but find it so hard to admit it when we are.

Why is this so?

I see examples of it all the time, in real life, in the news... even in this forum... People will stubbornly refuse to admit any wrong doing, and in fact actually try to justify their position instead....and if they are pointed out that they are wrong...there is a feeling of lingering resentment.

What is so bad about making mistakes and being wrong?

I remember a friend of mind years ago who was adamant that the Titanic had five funnels instead of four...after years of evidence being presented he would still not admit it, even though he knew he was wrong...its like his ego and his self preservation relied on him not being at fault.

Can you admit when you are wrong? I can... I dont like doing it, but I have done before.... usually to avoid confrontation I back down first....although, if I was a different kind of person I could just as easily push and push.
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Old 01-23-2012
hidwell's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyKiwi View Post
No one likes to be wrong. I know I dont. Yet.... I find it intriguing that at some point we are all wrong about something at some point in our lives... but find it so hard to admit it when we are.

Why is this so?

I see examples of it all the time, in real life, in the news... even in this forum... People will stubbornly refuse to admit any wrong doing, and in fact actually try to justify their position instead....and if they are pointed out that they are wrong...there is a feeling of lingering resentment.

What is so bad about making mistakes and being wrong?

I remember a friend of mind years ago who was adamant that the Titanic had five funnels instead of four...after years of evidence being presented he would still not admit it, even though he knew he was wrong...its like his ego and his self preservation relied on him not being at fault.

Can you admit when you are wrong? I can... I dont like doing it, but I have done before.... usually to avoid confrontation I back down first....although, if I was a different kind of person I could just as easily push and push.
I guess it is just human nature
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Old 01-23-2012
 

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Originally Posted by hidwell View Post
I guess it is just human nature
Yeah I know....but there has to be a reason for it...

There is always a reason....
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Old 01-23-2012
 

I guess because, when we admit we're wrong, that "wall of security" comes crashing down around us and we're extremely vulnerable at that point. The other person(s) can do whatever they want to with us after that. They can humiliate, hurt, rub it in, whatever they choose to. It's sort of a self-preservation technique I suppose.
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Old 01-23-2012
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Everyone has a built in ego that doesn't want to be bruised. If you ask me, that's how we succeed as people because believing in yourself is how you achieve stuff.

As for the people that never admit when they are wrong, they are insecure. There could multiple reasons why they are insecure.
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Old 01-23-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyKiwi View Post
Can you admit when you are wrong?
Yes, I can, and I have done so before. I have always maintained that there's nothing wrong with being wrong, and it's a sense of humility admitting it. However, I do know a few people who think they're never wrong, even on subjective matters, so I don't know what the deal is there.

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Originally Posted by OceanMist View Post
Everyone has a built in ego that doesn't want to be bruised. If you ask me, that's how we succeed as people because believing in yourself is how you achieve stuff.
Yeah, this is quite true.
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Old 01-23-2012
 

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Originally Posted by DeadmanWalking View Post
It's sort of a self-preservation technique I suppose.
From a scientific point of view I think its this too. I think generally people are pretty vulnerable (although I dont think there are many of us that like to admit that) and being wrong exposes us as weak and open to attack, like you said.

In saying that though, I dont think being wrong is a big deal. I mean we all get things wrong from time to time and I actually have a lot of respect for people who have humility and can admit that they are wrong... its not an easy thing to do. It shows courage and integrity....and that we are all human just trying to do our best to get by.
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Old 01-23-2012
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Yes, I am wrong all the time. Sometimes my pride won't let me admit. At times I feel so hopeless and not good at anything.

Of course everyone is wrong some of the time. So why should I wallow in it, and let it eat away at my self esteem? Being wrong is part of being human. You've got to forgive yourself, cut yourself some slack. Focus on the times you got it right.
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Old 01-23-2012
Lea
 

I love to admit that I am wrong. Sadly it doesnīt happen often when I realize that I am not right. But when it happens and I can admit I was wrong, it is quite an alleviation. Like - I donīt have to fight anymore because everything is OK.
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Old 01-23-2012
 

If that's hard, then admitting that one is IN the wrong is doubly so...
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Old 01-23-2012
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It's just pride/stubbornness. I've been there a couple of times myself and I've also had a lot of times, mainly with my parents, where they refuse to admit they're wrong no matter how good my argument or evidence is against them.
I guess it's because admitting you're wrong is like accepting defeat or showing weakness which can bruise your ego. So it's a protection thing, I suppose.
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Old 01-23-2012
 

I think we all believe certain things to be true, without realizing that truth is completely shaped by our own individual experiences. Your reality is different to mine. We define our world by what we've been brought up in, what we've seen, what we've gone through. That makes it hard for us to envision life any other way because we develop a kind of tunnel vision based purely on our unique reality, which may not correlate at all with what someone else believes to be true. It's what gives us erroneous feelings of superiority and makes us want to correct people whereas I suppose we should all just let it go. I do think deep down that everyone 'gets there' in the end, regardless of the life path they take. That's why stress and worry is really just wasted energy.

Factor in other ingredients such as greed, special interest, delicate egos, inherent human stubbornness, and an overdeveloped fear of embarrassment and I suppose it's quite easy to see why people butt heads.

I don't like to admit I'm wrong, but I'm also not confrontational. If anything looks like it's heating up, I walk straight out of the door. I think conflict as a whole is the bane of humanity.
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Old 01-24-2012
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinetik View Post
I think we all believe certain things to be true, without realizing that truth is completely shaped by our own individual experiences. Your reality is different to mine. We define our world by what we've been brought up in, what we've seen, what we've gone through. That makes it hard for us to envision life any other way because we develop a kind of tunnel vision based purely on our unique reality, which may not correlate at all with what someone else believes to be true. It's what gives us erroneous feelings of superiority and makes us want to correct people whereas I suppose we should all just let it go. I do think deep down that everyone 'gets there' in the end, regardless of the life path they take. That's why stress and worry is really just wasted energy.

Factor in other ingredients such as greed, special interest, delicate egos, inherent human stubbornness, and an overdeveloped fear of embarrassment and I suppose it's quite easy to see why people butt heads.

I don't like to admit I'm wrong, but I'm also not confrontational. If anything looks like it's heating up, I walk straight out of the door. I think conflict as a whole is the bane of humanity.
Very interesting. I have always felt this too... although I lack the capacity to articulate it as well as you have in your post. You remind me of a friend I used to have Kinetik, I always enjoy reading what you have to say....

I wonder how many people realize this? Particularly the part about our own reality based on individual experiences and upbringing. Perhaps if we did, there wouldnt be so much confrontation. You know... I always feel like that in order to cope and gain respect you have to put on a persona where you have to believe you are right, even when you know you are not. Its uncomfortable.... but seems in the modern world... necessary.

I really cant be bothered with peoples egos sometimes.
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Old 01-24-2012
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I am wrong in a lot of things and a lot of times. I prefer to tell people to not take me seriously as I barely know what I talk about and I prevent people to disappoint people again.

Edit: I realized 5 months after posting this that I wrote completely the opposite as I meant -__-
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Old 01-25-2012
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I think Kinetic brought up a great point. A lot of people fear embarrassment. Many people are very concerned about other people and how they are perceived in other peoples' eyes.
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Old 01-25-2012
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well most everyone is wrong at some point in life.If a person NEVER thinks they are or has been wrong,chances are they are have a Narcissistic Personality disorder,and will never admit to any wrong or wrong doing.Not much you can do with people like that except to avoid them.
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Old 01-25-2012
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Singing Bird
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Admitting wrong = right ...... and right = wrong... so A dot B is same conclusion... hmm...?? = Just human nature.

It's just how you react on it after it. After in a fight that someone's right, or saying he is. and you think you are. You shouldn't let it bother you. That's the trick. It is a hard task, especially when you are frustrated at the other, the best option is to just let him think that he's right, ignore it, say i'm right and just deal with it, and stop talking or just say whatever, i guess we just don't agree with eachother and we'd have to respect it for both. let's do that. it will help us. but respect takes action to show you have respect for both opinions, so it is a way of showing care to other's opinions. to solve the problem of lack of another person ''knowing what's right and wrong in your perspective of things what are important, so just show that you care for the others ideas and love them just for the sake of the respect which is the most strong word in this nature, respect will even help sa go away, it's called karma. Respect, if people will all help us, even the biggest bullies, the big strong machos and the alpha males (lol) and the shy people will all smile at us and be respected within all and we also will feel respected as an invidual as an own - befriended we cannot behave, that we finally know we have got the dignity, the key of loving and self acceptance, which is so hard to find''.

it's all about reaction to respond and respond to reaction and the respond of feeling and reaction of emotions which are triggering a result to another scenario and the show goes on. The right way would be, to start with the first or last area you feel difficulties with.

Put the show to another good scenario. Or avoid the trigger whatever it may be for you. Stop the emotions by counting to 20 and go out of the situation and avoid those people. do not defend and stop that feeling. do not react like that, that's the most difficult part so just do it in steps.... that's all what counts. And the most smartest people even know how to begin a specific scenario (some may even be narcistic, others are just helpful to let others be right and others know how to deal with those fights to not let them happen) so that people won't even argue with you, just because you know, and they know, you can both be right, in any situation, it's just what the situation holds in hands.


I don't care about saying that I'm wrong, just because I want to show the other person he or she is right. I think they deserve to be right also. Everybody has a different point of view and I like to see them all, to see the bright side of everything.

Yes, i been like that. Stubborn, but only with help, I never wanted anyone to help me. I shut them out. Now I take all help because I know it's with the right intention, love, care heart to help me, and I appreciate that.

It's just that in the past I couldn't see WHY people would help me. I always wanted them to keep out of it, to help them, but with the right help it's not wrong to let them help me, it only makes the bond more precious.

And why I should say I'm wrong. Just because of respect for other people.

And EGO, oh well, I think it's also PERFECTLY good to have self respect.

So if you tell that you don't mind saying you're right, and also that you're wrong. You have an equality of both. That's good right?

So It's not wrong at all.

Only when you always want to be right, then you should realise it's just a pressure on the back.... It wouldn't help you any further.

And always saying that you are wrong, that is a matter of self respect lack esteem... Please just throw your opinion and say hey, im right on this fact, I know i know it... so believe me, this is the start of self respect.
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Old 01-25-2012
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShyKiwi View Post
From a scientific point of view I think its this too. I think generally people are pretty vulnerable (although I dont think there are many of us that like to admit that) and being wrong exposes us as weak and open to attack, like you said.

In saying that though, I dont think being wrong is a big deal. I mean we all get things wrong from time to time and I actually have a lot of respect for people who have humility and can admit that they are wrong... its not an easy thing to do. It shows courage and integrity....and that we are all human just trying to do our best to get by.
admitting your wrong is both good and proper under the right circumstances but heres the thing , the world is full of malevolent liars who paint others black and attack them with false appraisals under the guise of straight talk and honesty , one of the main apsects of my bullying experience was buying into the false labels the bully hung on me , if you buy into lies , you are laying down your arms , this is not humility , this is surrender to evil

one of the dangers for depressed people is that they are prone to blaming themselves and giving in to the will of other people , this leaves them exposed and open to exploitation from those who mean them harm , i used to be able to wipe the floor with toxic people , since depresion destroyed my life , i find that even when i rightfully put wrongdoers in thier place , i feel guilty , depression turns you into an unconditional pushover , its as if you deserve to be beaten and victimised by everyone
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Old 01-25-2012
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If people don't admit or accept their mistakes they'll never learn from them.

I'm more than happy to admit when I've got it wrong and I always appreciate others who do it too. Say if a colleague were to make an error that proved costly on my part... if they were to simply say, 'I got it wrong, I'm sorry', I wouldn't feel any resentment at all for the inconvenience caused.

People who can never admit they're wrong should go on Family Fortunes. I'd like to see them arguing with that buzzer when they give an incorrect answer.

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Old 01-26-2012
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by twiggle View Post
If people don't admit or accept their mistakes they'll never learn from them.

I'm more than happy to admit when I've got it wrong and I always appreciate others who do it too. Say if a colleague were to make an error that proved costly on my part... if they were to simply say, 'I got it wrong, I'm sorry', I wouldn't feel any resentment at all for the inconvenience caused.

People who can never admit they're wrong should go on Family Fortunes. I'd like to see them arguing with that buzzer when they give an incorrect answer.

Les Dennis - Our survey Said............Fail.. - YouTube

how willing i am to accept im wrong depdends on who is accusing me of being wrong , as i said earlier , some people accuse you of being wrong in the wrong , they do this to hurt you , blacken you , its important to be on your guard against people like this
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