"Why haven't you got a girl/boyfriend?" - your response

N

nightcrawler

Well-known member
It's bad enough when someone (especially family) ask if you have a girl/boyfriend. But it's even worse (assuming you answered no) when they follow it up with "why not?"...especially if you haven't had one for quite a long time (like myself). What do you usually respond with?
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
My reasons: I cant find anyone I really like and cannot bother making an effort.. I asked girls several times but usually get rejected.. I went on 1 date with a girl i dont really like and never did since then... I also find it extremely hard to make an approach to a random girl even if she gives me a look that might hint something... Damn me, i missed some chances in the past...

I once intentionally told some of my friends that i dont have a girl and personally speaking i shouldn't cuz it make me feel shy in front of them and people started treating me a bit differently than before... Id rather go with the flow, i dont have the guts to embarrass myself or look stupid to get a girl but id rather that shes convinced with me 1st..
 
zav943

zav943

Well-known member
I submitted this question not too long ago...
never provided my own answer, but got plenty of input form others.

I actually usually say: Please, let's not talk about that.

That usually prompts people to be even MORE intrusive. WHY? WHY NOT? DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE? (I always feel like the question 'are you...gay?' is at the tip of their tongue)

I have to find a better way of dodging that question. What should I say? "Everyone I ask rejects me"? "My only gf cheated on me with her ex and then married him last year"?!
 
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Honda

Honda

Well-known member
Its just society pressures you to sickness.. You should know better that this is silly..

I personally will wait for a next opportunity, see if i really like her and take my chances...

A few days ago i saw a random girl in mc donalds waiting in line and gave me a couple of looks which i didnt really understand, i wanted to do something but I always find it difficult to make an approach..
 
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F

Feathers

Well-known member
Yeah, I just wanted to say - is this DEJAVU? lol..

There's another thread just like this and with some very interesting responses!! (I may need to write some in my notebook, lol!)

Usually if you say you're too busy or if you start joking with them or ask them to introduce you to someone, they give you a rest.. (Or may even hook you up with someone lol..)

Maybe they are also 'interested' or their friends are, and that's why they are asking-??
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
Dating is a good social and life experience IMO... If only i was courageous enough to let go all this non-existent social anxiety and got a bit adventurous, dropped the ego and dived in... Id be over this a long time ago... Or maybe i met or experienced the wrong type of girls for me..
F**k there was 2 open opportunities for me: 1 in my freshman year and another i met in my junior year in college both were nice and polite yet i turned them down due to the fact "i used my b**ls rather than my head" when i thought about it.. I dont think any of them would bother working something out with me as I turned them down in the past but who knows... Times change but the worse thing is peer pressure, friends interfering and such which i really hate especially when some people find me not fit enough for this and that and all this bull****...
Im not putting standards like people do anymore, screw their mentality... People always want the best but also dont want to settle for the worse cuz i always chose the easy choices and then realize that i should've went for the risky one as it could've payed off better..
 
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agoraphobickatie

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
i have never had someone ask me "why not?" after i said no to having a boyfriend.... unless it was a guy who just wanted to say something cheesy about how 'a girl like you could have any guy' blah blah blah..... anyway, if someone were stupid enough to ask me why i don't have a boyfriend, i'd probably just look at them like they had a carrot up their nose..
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
^ that's a silly question to ask anyways.. Its like sticking your nose in other people's business..
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
i don't really take offense to it. there are far worse things to be offended about. response: i don't know. i don't care. haha
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
i usually think that a girl i become friends with and get to know are probably fantasising and looking for a david beckham type of guy, its completely silly and baseless but usually i can tell when they talk about actors and tv shows they like and interests what sort of guy they want physically and as an occupation ...i know that's irrational behaviour but i can't shake it at all. my last girlfriend was seeing my two best friends behind my back and with the experience i've had, girls tend to become bored quickly and move on to the best sort of guy they can get which is fare enough. i don't really blame them. so there is alot of trial and error and pain/rejection involved unless you are lucky enough to meet someone who you know is your soul mate but i think that becomes less apparent in this modern society where the percentage of the younger generation are seen to not want to settle down and are more into picking up lots of dates until they find the right person, that could be more of a 50-50 scenario though .....

if i meet a girlfriend who is really into me and i know it then i'll fight to keep her as much as i can but i always have this thought that she'll be swept off here feet by some james bond character one day.
 
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NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
Richey said:
if i meet a girlfriend who is really into me and i know it then i'll fight to keep her as much as i can but i always have this thought that she'll be swept off here feet by some james bond character one day.
Click to expand...
Were your two best friends both James Bonds? It sounds like she was just a skank. No offense.
 
I

IamThisOne

Well-known member
I hate it when my family asks if I have a girlfriend. I mean don't you think they would know it if I had one. I usually respond with "I don't know" in a very aggravated way.

What really makes me mad is when my grandmother will ask if I have a girlfriend and then she will ask if I have a boyfriend. I'm not gay and it really makes me mad when she says that because I feel like she is making fun of me. It's like just because a guy doesn't have a girlfriend doesn't mean their gay.
 
doubleM

doubleM

Well-known member
i dont because alot of girls today especially young ones are shallow and naive. i cant even talk to them, we dont even speak the same language it seems.
 
Z

zinc

Member
No, because I'm self-conscious

When people ask me why I don't, I respond with the lie "not looking"
 
F

fuzzylogic

1
Tell them the truth that you are afraid of...(hurt feelings, lack of empathy and caring, pain of a loss, rejection, humilation etc).
 
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