SocialPhobiaWorld.com  
     

Home Today's Posts Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
 
Go Back   SocialPhobiaWorld.com > Other related Disorders > Shyness Forum
 
Search this Thread
Old 03-11-2010
Splinter's Avatar
Newbie User
 

You know, friends would be nice.

People, though, when they speak, their motives are questionable. By talking they might really be saying: Look at me, I need attention. Or I'm feeding my gargantuan ego by telling you this is way the world works. Or help me wallow in shame and disgust by accompanying me.

I have no friends and I am happy with it. It's peaceful when I don't hear unnecessary noise, besides it seems people like to talk at others rather than with others.

Maybe true talking is made without your tongue.

Honestly, has anyone reached that point of enjoying solitude? For clarity, I have not given up on building relationships, I've just accepted my current condition.

What, if anything, has anyone here accepted anyway?
Splinter is offline  
Old 03-11-2010
PhillyFlyersGrl's Avatar
Just another manic monday
Advanced User
 

I accept the fact I only have a couple of friends. I accept the fact I prefer to stay in during the weekdays because I need to recoperate from work, so I just enjoy my evenings doing whatever relaxing activity I want.
I think its important to accept things about yourself, why fight yourself all the time? And control? Sometimes if you find acceptance you will gradually end up changing for the better.
PhillyFlyersGrl is offline  
Old 03-11-2010
El_Pajaro's Avatar
Newbie User
 

I understand what your saying...I've made friends with people who have ulterior motives and with people who are fake wannabes. They definetly make me feel that im better off alone. But I still hope for real friendship one day.
El_Pajaro is offline  
Old 03-12-2010
 

If I have modicum of a social life, then I enjoy having some time alone to go along with it, perhaps more than most. But for me, year after year after year of isolation has been a hard, fruitless road. It's easy to judge others from the side, but subject to the social pressures of everyday life, we all exhibit some petty qualities. For me, one of the hard parts about being around people is that it can bring things out of me that I may want to deny are there. Despite everything, human contact is basically worthwile and necessary. Splinter or anyone else feel free to message me. I would like to try and be friends.
secretly awesome is offline  
Old 03-12-2010
lyricalliaisons's Avatar
Elite User
 

I do enjoy being on my own most of the time, but sometimes I wish I had someone to do something with. I think it would be easier to leave the house if I didn't have to do everything alone. At the same time, I don't know how I could ever have friends. I'm so different from other people. Most people are drinking, etc. & I don't like drinking. I don't want to hang out with people who are drinking, either. My one "friend" was always trying to get me to drink (I gave in a few times & still feel bad about it), because that's considered "normal." I would love to have friends if I could find some more like me, but I don't think that's ever going to happen.
lyricalliaisons is offline  
Old 03-12-2010
Square_Eyes's Avatar
Expert User
 

I'd go as far as to say that I'm incapable of joy unless I'm on my own, but it's not quite that simple. How can I put this? - I enjoy being alone in the same way that an addict might enjoy heroin whilst being aware that the situation is out of their control and, ultimately, not good for them.
Square_Eyes is offline  
Old 03-12-2010
apollo's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by secretly awesome View Post
If I have modicum of a social life, then I enjoy having some time alone to go along with it, perhaps more than most. But for me, year after year after year of isolation has been a hard, fruitless road. It's easy to judge others from the side, but subject to the social pressures of everyday life, we all exhibit some petty qualities. For me, one of the hard parts about being around people is that it can bring things out of me that I may want to deny are there. Despite everything, human contact is basically worthwile and necessary. Splinter or anyone else feel free to message me. I would like to try and be friends.
I completly agree. Though I enjoy solitude very much I have come to realize that a life alone is almost meaningless. Just picture a person who goes to a beautiful exotic place and thinks how it would have been better to share this experience with someone else.
apollo is offline  
Old 03-12-2010
 

I feel the same as you do. Normally people feel bad when they are alone but this works inversely on me. If i had a boogey man i wish a total solitude on my life
phobiadictates is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
 

Square eyes, I can relate to your statement. One problem I have is that, much like an addict, I need more and more in order for it to continue to work. For instance, in the middle of a heavy isolationist period, if the phone rings, or if I walk in front of an open window, it can ruin a lot of my day. If there's a knock on the door, forget about it.
secretly awesome is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
Richey's Avatar
Elite User
 

splinter i'm still open to friendships as much as i enjoy my own time i think that you can have friendships that are simply two people sharing each others company in fun, awkwardness, silence, whatever it is...to the point where you feel comfortable enough to not feel self conscious around them, and also its someone you can just do stuff with which is always nice right?! to be able to share experiences.....

but yeh i do enjoy spending time alone mainly because i dont feel self conscious alone, its one of the rare situations where i just feel relaxed..
Richey is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
206Raider's Avatar
Expert User
 

Nope, don't trust them. I can hardly trust anybody nowadays, I'm careful how I chose my friends so in return I don't have many but I don't care. I ride by myself at night cause I don't mess with anybody. I don't know why I should, too many fakes and snakes. Plus I think back on a lot of times I got in trouble it was becuase of other people or other people stab you in the back. I can deal with either or, I adapt to any enviroment.
206Raider is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
Hellhound's Avatar
Super Moderator
Elite User
 

I don't like being alone, but I don't like going out to social places with a group... is not my thing at all. I enjoy being around a few trustworthy people in calmer circumstances rather than partying and going out to big crowdy noisy places and stuff... Over here, most people are the opposite to me, I can't relate to anyone... and they don't like me anyway, so I choose my own company... It gets depressing at times, but is not like I have much of a choice.
Hellhound is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
Flowers-Of-Bloom's Avatar
Expert User
 

Yes, I am like this.
I don't enjoy being with my "friends," it does nothing for me. I don't think I need them, because they feel like more of a burden, as if they're sucking the life out of me every minute I spend with them.
Flowers-Of-Bloom is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
DarkSeeker's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

I've spent my entire life absolutely alone in my little fantasy world. It's not like I had much of a choice of liking to be left alone, particularly since most of that life was spent living with more than abusive crazy "parents" (tyrants would be more appropriate).
DarkSeeker is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhillyFlyersGrl View Post
I accept the fact I only have a couple of friends. I accept the fact I prefer to stay in during the weekdays because I need to recoperate from work, so I just enjoy my evenings doing whatever relaxing activity I want.
I think its important to accept things about yourself, why fight yourself all the time? And control? Sometimes if you find acceptance you will gradually end up changing for the better.
I totally agree, this is exactly th right pace: when y feel good then don't look for more
bony666 is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 206Raider View Post
Nope, don't trust them. I can hardly trust anybody nowadays, I'm careful how I chose my friends so in return I don't have many but I don't care. I ride by myself at night cause I don't mess with anybody. I don't know why I should, too many fakes and snakes. Plus I think back on a lot of times I got in trouble it was becuase of other people or other people stab you in the back. I can deal with either or, I adapt to any enviroment.
yes I agree, but don't you think that going out to see the world involves risks, so you have to take that risk of going out with people, even if they may harm you or cause you problems: otherwise, you would be alone for the rest of your life
bony666 is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkSeeker View Post
I've spent my entire life absolutely alone in my little fantasy world. It's not like I had much of a choice of liking to be left alone, particularly since most of that life was spent living with more than abusive crazy "parents" (tyrants would be more appropriate).
yeah... I see what you mean, I as also living in a very small and conservative city, and was spending all my time at home with my parents, especially my mother who suffered depression and several disorders: it has been killing me to live with them; and am only feeling free now that I have left home
bony666 is offline  
Old 03-13-2010
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flowers-Of-Bloom View Post
Yes, I am like this.
I don't enjoy being with my "friends," it does nothing for me. I don't think I need them, because they feel like more of a burden, as if they're sucking the life out of me every minute I spend with them.
yes, I think that's why people don't feel any connection to us: they implicitely feel that we don't want them. SP people , including me, have lost the pleasure of discussion, other's company, sharing stories... etc: it's hard though to find something to tell when nthing happens in your life; I usually find my self lying when am asked about my past: because my past is empty !!!
bony666 is offline  
Old 03-14-2010
 

Being alone is nice but I don't think someone can tell me that every now and again they don't get lonely. It's human nature to crave the company of others, at one point or another. I enjoy my solidarity but I won't say that I don't enjoy times with others. Even when my friends are acting their worst, I'm happy that I had the time with them and it allows me to value the time I do have by myself.
Krista is offline  
Old 03-15-2010
Rxqueen's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by square_eyes View Post
I'd go as far as to say that I'm incapable of joy unless I'm on my own, but it's not quite that simple. How can I put this? - I enjoy being alone in the same way that an addict might enjoy heroin whilst being aware that the situation is out of their control and, ultimately, not good for them.
I agree...I really love being alone but sometimes I feel like too much isolation will make me crazy....there are times that I really am lonely and hope and pray for company but when I get it the people around me annoy the crap outta me and I wish i was alone again. A lot of the time I know that my isolation is making me worse socially but I'd just rather be alone....I really do wish I could create a happy medium but my current state tells me it's impossible.
Rxqueen is offline  
Post Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search




Mobile Version
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2
All times are GMT. The time now is 07:46 PM.