why you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend? why they care?

JonnyD

Well-known member
why you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend? don't you hate it when people ask?

is that a sickness to be single or what?
 

Kien

Well-known member
I think I have only been asked once. It was about 5 years ago. I didn't know what to say really so I said that I would find it boring. (<,<) May I mention I was in love with the girl who asked me, which made it harder to find any words.

And yes I don't understand why people give such a big reaction to not love someone and live with someone. :?
 

JonnyD

Well-known member
i wish i could say "shut the fuck up" but i'm just not this way...
my mom ask, my aunties ask, my coworkers ask, my barber ask!
and i hate those insinuations, i hate when people insinuate that i should have a girlfriend...
 
Well it's been my experience that if a girl my age asks me why I don't have a girlfriend, it's a compliment like "You're so awesome how can you not have a girlfriend??"

That's how I see it at least....My family doesn't seem to care though thank God haha
 

JonnyD_

Well-known member
it's hard to feel flattered, even when it comes from a woman, i do'nt have many single aquitances, i don't have many aquitances at all , but it do have some logic to feel flattered ;)

and bleach seriously shut up! you're certainly more attractive then me in several ways. i've never been in a so bad shape, i'm at least 20 kilos overweighten and i'm not a model of beauty in anyway, it's pretty obvious why, besides my psicological problems...

the thing is it's not much about attractivenes, people naturally hook up, love is in the air, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all this cute things...

I just don't know why people bother to asking and insinuating , if i don't have one is either becaus i don't want or i can't ... :evil:

Just give 'em a raised eyebrow and a look that says they're crazy for asking.

loved the technique! it apply to other things aswell, when people ask why i don't have a licence or a car or a bike or fun, a life in general
 

Kien

Well-known member
freestylemonster said:
Well it's been my experience that if a girl my age asks me why I don't have a girlfriend, it's a compliment like "You're so awesome how can you not have a girlfriend??"
Ah that's when the girl see that you are a nice guy. :p They think other girls would love you but the girl herself would never want a male of that type.
 
^^ yeah that's true...It's like "Ryan, you're such a sweet guy. You're exactly the kind of guy I wanna marry....Someday! Right now I'm gonna go have hot steamy animal sex with that douchebag over there!!!!"
 

worrywort

Well-known member
I don't think there's anything wrong with not having a girlfriend/boyfriend if you don't want one. Lots of people live the single life. I guess it's not as common though, and for someone who dates a lot, to meet a person who doesn't date at all, they're bound to be curious cause here's a person who lives life radically different to them.....just as we probably often get bemused over how social people can just chat effortlessly, or how they can go to pubs and clubs, and we might ask them why they do this? But I think it's important to remember that there's nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Infact I often feel quite proud....especially when I hear people complaining about all their misery's in relationships....there's definitely a strong feeling of freedom and independence that comes from not "needing a partner".

But then, even if you DO want a partner, but don't have one, I STILL don't think there's anything to be ashamed about that. If your reasons are because you find it hard to socialise, or find it hard to meet people like you, then that's a perfectly valid reason and nothing to be ashamed of.

When people ask me, I usually say [tongue in cheek] things like, I was bought up in an all boys school and have no clue how to interact with women!!!....or sometimes I say that I have just never felt particularly driven to find a girlfriend, which is kinda true, and people can't argue with your natural drives. i.e. If somebody doesn't like cheese, then they don't like cheese! You can't tell them they're wrong!

But I think, next time someone asks, you should be proud of yourself, and just tell them that you find it hard...[although I know that can be harder than it sounds].....unless,you really want a girlfriend, and someone sets you up, and you decline or run away....how many times do we have to chicken out and run away before we should justly feel shame....I guess never actually. That's totally within your rights too. If you don't feel ready for a girlfriend, noone should force that upon you.

hmm....so in conclusion, sorry for the babble, but I don't think there's any reason whatsoever that we should feel shame over this.
 

JonnyD

Well-known member
But then, even if you DO want a partner, but don't have one, I STILL don't think there's anything to be ashamed about that. If your reasons are because you find it hard to socialise, or find it hard to meet people like you, then that's a perfectly valid reason and nothing to be ashamed of.

that's a great point, i used to feel ashamed of wanting to have intimacy , i noticed how wrong it is, i used to deny it to myself and holding feelings is something that i recently learned will make things worst ;)

^^ yeah that's true...It's like "Ryan, you're such a sweet guy. You're exactly the kind of guy I wanna marry....Someday! Right now I'm gonna go have hot steamy animal sex with that douchebag over there!!!!"

hauhuahuahuah! lol! lmao!
 

Ubersonic

Well-known member
Wait a second... how come I never get the followup "why?" question? Is it that obvious!?!?

But If I do get asked why, I'll say with a smile, "I don't think there's any simple answer to that question."

On a side note: being single doesn't depress me, it's the fact that girls don't find me attractive that does.
 

creep_x

Well-known member
wow i was asked this question 'why?' in front of everyone & i was eating in a resturant & look at my lame reply.. i said 'coz i havent tried' (coz of sa) .. so stupid of me to say that
but in a way it true..since a few years i havent really met anyone that i could fall in love with .. i did meet some but it was on the internet & i know how pathetic it sounds to fall in love over the net.. thats another story though
 

Kamen

Well-known member
I did have a girlfriend four years ago. We broke up (I wanted it), the relationship was terrible at some point, thought we were almost an year together. I am fine and just don't care about girlfriends that much.

I hate when others poke their noses in my life and are curious why I don't have a girlfriend, I see it as bugging on purpose, so I can become sarcastic or even a little hostile in my responses.
 

recluse

Well-known member
If someone asks ''why don't you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?'' Take it as a compliment! I mean they must think you are worthy to be in a relationship.
 

weak

Well-known member
If you don't want people to pass negative judgement on you, then you're gonna need to make it out like you're single by choice.

If someone asks you why don't you have a girlfriend, just answer with this:

"I like to keep my options open, I don't wanna be tied down to just one person".

or

"been way too busy, don't have time for one".

Done and done.
 

Agitha

New member
*<*

Hehehe it is kinda funny when you think about it, well for me. Like for instance my younger sis would be like "Sooo..anybody new in your life?" *wink wink*, or my aunt would lightly bring it up just to be polite..I guess it is a little strange, I mean especially when you don't really know what to say, like "Umm well..I don't have the time " or "I'm not ready yet"..ughh I make up any excuse in the book :/
 

Kien

Well-known member
weak said:
If you don't want people to pass negative judgement on you, then you're gonna need to make it out like you're single by choice.

If someone asks you why don't you have a girlfriend, just answer with this:

"I like to keep my options open, I don't wanna be tied down to just one person".

or

"been way too busy, don't have time for one".

Done and done.
"I don't want any. I don't want to share my life and stuff with someone else." ;)
 

Patrick123

Well-known member
...

The next time somebody asks, tell them that she is in your freezer. I bet that would stop all future inquiries...
 
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