Withdrawals

greykitty

Active member
When you withdraw, do you ever not pick up or respond to messages?

Would you be afraid that the person who's messaging you would not be there when you are ready to face them again?

Should they keep messaging you to let you know they are there or should they just leave you alone?
 

megalon

Well-known member
That is sometimes the case with me.
A former coworker of mine that I used to be somewhat close to sends me messages on facebook every few months. Sometimes I'm so anxious that I don't even read them for a few days, let alone respond. I feel like I need to be in the right frame of mind to write a reply. That "correct" frame of mind rarely shows up, so sometimes it'll be a month before I respond.
For me personally, I think it boils down to lack of self esteem. I feel like I'm not worthy to take up the time she would spend reading it.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
To initiate contact is a big thing for me. There is a fear of rejection for me in that. However, I always appreciate it when people contact me, and I like to respond. I am not sure of the etiquette of that, how often to respond, I don't want to bug them.

If someone doesn't respond to messages over a long period of time, then there is a possibility of lack of interest.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
For me personally, I think it boils down to lack of self esteem. I feel like I'm not worthy to take up the time she would spend reading it.
If she's messaging you, she wants you to respond.

I think we've all been through this at times. Even those without social anxiety will ignore or disregard messages for whatever reason.
 

quirkyquiet1

New member
I will withdraw from people I really like at times, too. I won't return their calls or messages when I need space. Afterwards when I feel better, which is sometimes several weeks, I still avoid them because I am embarrassed for avoiding them and can't come up with a good explanation that I feel they would understand. I've lost a lot of friendships that way throughout my life.
 

greykitty

Active member
I will withdraw from people I really like at times, too. I won't return their calls or messages when I need space. Afterwards when I feel better, which is sometimes several weeks, I still avoid them because I am embarrassed for avoiding them and can't come up with a good explanation that I feel they would understand. I've lost a lot of friendships that way throughout my life.

Thank you for telling me this. I find a little bit of comfort in it for some reason. I am being ignored now for almost 3 months. Things were going well and this person always ignored me especially when things were good. At first for a few weeks and now for months. I miss this person a lot. I just sent a text to say hello. I don't think he is going to respond or talk to me. But I'm always here if he comes back. I trust him when he tells me how he feels about me. I don't think he is being mean or is saying he doesn't want me by his silence. I think he is just going through a tough time and doesn't want attention at the moment. It does take a lot of patience and thought changing for me to go through this. But it is overall a learning experience. Thanks again for telling me this. Much appreciated.
 
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