work christmas parties

terresap

terresap

Active member
Its coming up to the time I dread, the work christmas parties. :(
I hate this kind of thing, I feel uncomfortable at work enough and now I have to go to a restuarant and eat and make conversation infront of them all. I cant stand it, I usually make some stupid excuse to get out of work socialising events which makes people think I dont like them (its so much easier that way), but it seems they wont take no and are trying to get me to go. :roll:
Being married means that my husband also has work christmas parties that im invited to, im already thinking of excuses to use. :roll:

Anyone else having work christmas party dilema's??
 
Yossarian

Yossarian

Well-known member
Oh man that must be a nightmare. I don't work so that's one bonus I guess. If it wasn't for SP would you still want to go? I hate this expectation that everyone should be outgoing, extrovert etc. I don't want to be held back by SP but that doesn't mean I want to become the life and soul of the party. I'm quiet and like it that way.

If you don't want to go don't. As for your husband, mmm that must be hard for you. Maybe you could compromise and leave early or something. If it's your hubbies party hopefully you wont be under so much pressure to socialise. Whatever happens remember you have the right to live your life as you want. If that means no parties then so be it. People should just accept this as your choice. I know it's easy to say and I don't mean to patronise.

I spose one good thing is if they didn't like you they wouldn't make an effort to make you come. So you obviously have alot going for you. That's a good thing right?
 
Hope

Hope

Well-known member
terresap - Wow, can I identify!!

My most uncomfortable work experiences were Christmas parties. There was usually a series of them too. I could (barely) tolerate the ones where the entire company was present - usually a daytime event - because I could mix away from the people in my own department, many of whom I felt uncomfortable with even in the work environment.

The situation wasn't helped by the fact that I'm not a Xmas type anyway - and then I'm supposed to look all cheery in an environment where I feel out of place and stressed.

The 'solution' was a lot of avoidance. I realize that isn't easy either. The only other solution - which I took (also for many other reasons) - is self-employment/early retirement. I was fortunate I could do that.

If you can't do that, and if you feel ok with a temporary med, I'd suggest asking your doc for something like a benzodiazapine, on an as-needed basis. All it does is de-stress you for a few hours, but don't get too used to them - they can be habit-forming. Oxazepam works well.

I don't advocate meds, but sometimes there aren't many immediate alternatives. I've had no side-effects using a benzo strictly on as-needed basis.

I don't feel quite as uncomfortable as Xmas events where I can 'escape' at will.

H
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
I tend to dislike these too. I end up having a drink or two in order to be somewhat relaxed (i.e., not totally freaky nervous). You can only avoid so many of the damn things. The one coming up for us is at the local arena (!?!) and it's a big to-do. It's also on a weekend, and I work 50 miles from the place :( And of course I feel uncomfortable at work as it is, and feel not so well liked and all that... and I get to be surrounded by people with much better lives and end up focusing on my resentments... bad idea...

Ick. And these things are supposed to be FUN. SA really screws things up!!! Dammit!!!
 
terresap

terresap

Active member
8.gif
** UPDATE ***
My husbands work christmas party is a river cruise! That means 'theres no escaping here', I can hear Juliete Lewis screaming those words in my head ala Natural Born Killers style.
You cant get off the boat if your on a river cruise, your stuck on the boat until the end of the ride, that means a few hours of forced smiles and trying extrememly hard to come up with conversation with people I hardly know and their partners. I feel sick already.
15.gif
sick.gif
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
terresap said:
8.gif
** UPDATE ***
My husbands work christmas party is a river cruise! That means 'theres no escaping here', I can hear Juliete Lewis screaming those words in my head ala Natural Born Killers style.
You cant get off the boat if your on a river cruise, your stuck on the boat until the end of the ride, that means a few hours of forced smiles and trying extrememly hard to come up with conversation with people I hardly know and their partners. I feel sick already.
15.gif
sick.gif
Click to expand...

Hmmm, that is an interesting delimma.

Maybe the river will freeze up during winter and the cruise will have to be cancelled. :D
 
terresap

terresap

Active member
is self-employment/early retirement. I was fortunate I could do that.
Click to expand...
I only wish that was an answer, I want to win the lotto.

If you can't do that, and if you feel ok with a temporary med, I'd suggest asking your doc for something like a benzodiazapine, on an as-needed basis. All it does is de-stress you for a few hours, but don't get too used to them - they can be habit-forming. Oxazepam works well.

I don't advocate meds, but sometimes there aren't many immediate alternatives. I've had no side-effects using a benzo strictly on as-needed basis.
Click to expand...
Thankyour for that suggestion Hope, Im going to check it out.

If it wasn't for SP would you still want to go? I hate this expectation that everyone should be outgoing, extrovert etc. I don't want to be held back by SP but that doesn't mean I want to become the life and soul of the party. I'm quiet and like it that way.
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Im quiet too and really like it that way. I dont relate to the people at my work that well, I wouldnt associate with these people outside of work because we have nothing in common so if I didnt have SP then I probably wouldnt want to go but would just go because I had too.

Whatever happens remember you have the right to live your life as you want. If that means no parties then so be it. People should just accept this as your choice. I know it's easy to say and I don't mean to patronise.
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thankyou Yossarian, you always come up with the best thing to say. I love reading your posts :wink:
 
terresap

terresap

Active member
Hmmm, that is an interesting delimma.

Maybe the river will freeze up during winter and the cruise will have to be cancelled.
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I wish, its nearly summer here. Im screwed.
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
terresap said:
I wish, its nearly summer here. Im screwed.
Click to expand...

Yea, I see your location now.

Wouldn't it be great if there was a corporation/job somewhere in the world where all the employees had SA/SP. Then everyone could enjoy being themselves and if they chose to live a "quiet" life, then more than likely, their coworkers would understand and wouldn't organize "job related parties".
Click to expand...
 
terresap

terresap

Active member
Yea, I see your location now.

Wouldn't it be great if there was a corporation/job somewhere in the world where all the employees had SA/SP. Then everyone could enjoy being themselves and if they chose to live a "quiet" life, then more than likely, their coworkers would understand and wouldn't organize "job related parties".
Click to expand...
yeah wouldnt that be wonderful :D
Oh and there can be absolutely NO work socialising, not even at the water cooler. People were not allowed to hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds, and all communication was done via email. The workers have to be in their own separate cubicles where nobody can see them.
Absolutely NO birthday celebrations at work, singing 'happy birthday' to people is completely banned.
And dont forget the toilet situation....
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
yeah wouldnt that be wonderful :D
Oh and there can be absolutely NO work socialising, not even at the water cooler. People were not allowed to hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds, and all communication was done via email. The workers have to be in their own separate cubicles where nobody can see them.
Absolutely NO birthday celebrations at work, singing 'happy birthday' to people is completely banned.
And dont forget the toilet situation....
Click to expand...

:lol:

Well, one thing's for sure. Work would always get done and the company would be very productive. :D
 
JWH

JWH

Well-known member
Oh no! I did a 3 hour 21st cruise. It was hell. I was desperate to get off.

Can't you say no?
 
terresap

terresap

Active member
Oh no! I did a 3 hour 21st cruise. It was hell. I was desperate to get off.

Can't you say no?
Click to expand...
Its really as bad as it sounds? Ok im out, I have to come up with a big excuse this time. My usual "I have to get up early and go to work the next day" is just not going to cut it.
I am the queen of excuses, I will think of a good one :wink:
 
Anonymous

Anonymous

Well-known member
Can us socialphobiacs really afford to say that? My logical thinking says "NO", but then again, SPs aren't know for their grand logic :) If you must go try getting plenty of sleep, get some magnesium in the morning, dress up so you feel good and wing it.
 
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