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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

There are so many good looking people on this forum that I don't think being "unattractive" is the problem. It's the perception you have of yourself that is the problem.

But. I know I feel way hotter and confident when I wear my big black boots.
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

Wow RAZZLEDAZZLE, I have the same days!

Bad looking ~ Bad day , feeling awful .

(I focus on my hair being dry, I think my face looks disgusting, focus on every single imperfection, rinkles under my eyes (and i'm only just 20!!!), and my face shape is disgusting.)

Good looking ~ Awesome day

(New clothing, new hair colour, new haircut, always changes me for a week)

when you stay away from certain things, your brain confirms that its something to fear, so face your fears, so your subconcious mind gets used to it
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarionBerry View Post
There are so many good looking people on this forum that I don't think being "unattractive" is the problem. It's the perception you have of yourself that is the problem.
Exactly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarionBerry View Post
But. I know I feel way hotter and confident when I wear my big black boots.
I like girls in big, black boots.
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

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Originally Posted by telepathine View Post
my social anxiety has more to do with my insides, but i don't exactly feel confident about my appearance either. i wish i looked more put together, that it came naturally, that i had a stronger desire to put more effort into my appearance. i know i'm not unattractive but i feel like i'm more on the side of bland. sometimes i wish that i was thought of as 'sexy' or 'gorgeous', but that's not really me. receiving heaps of attention because of my looks would make me feel self conscious. so... i might as well be the way i am right now.
quite a few people (myself included) find the natural, un-made-up, not-overly-put-together look very appealing and much sexier than the glamour girl thing

and you are gorgeous (i hope that doesn't make you too self conscious, sorry)

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered." - Voltaire

"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are." - Max De Pree

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

Confidence in yourself would be the only thing, I think-- that could reduce your social anxiety.
There are plenty of gorgeous, brilliant, interesting people in the world who are not confident and I'm sure it affects how they feel around other people; selfconscious or anxious.

'looking better' isn't the key-- it's 'feeling better' which can possibly come from positive reinforcement, exercise, a healthy diet, proper amount of sleep, etc.
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarionBerry View Post
There are so many good looking people on this forum that I don't think being "unattractive" is the problem. It's the perception you have of yourself that is the problem.
I was looking for someone to say this. You're spot on
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

I honestly think if I looked different it would help me. My social anxiety would still be there but my deep depression and existential anxiety wouldn't be.

I don't think I'm ugly - but I'm 21 and look about 16 (sometimes younger, sometimes older, depending on what I'm wearing, hair, makeup, etc.); I'm also shorter and I have small hands and feet, which I think contribute to this overall young look and I feel self-conscious about my hands.

It's weird because I've been told I look great without makeup by more than one person, but then on the other hand I get shocked looks when I tell them I am 21 (22 next month!). So it's a love-hate feeling towards my appearance, but... meh. Looks are important but they aren't what make a human life, well, a human life. Take them for what they are I suppose. It's kind of odd if you think about it, how no one chooses what they look like and yet they are judged so strongly for it. Nature is strange.

Anyway, young-looking I can deal with, but if I could change one thing about myself it would be my hands. I just think they are too small (many people here already know that by now ).
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

As far as anyone with social anxiety feeling better with better looks... Well, it depends where the anxiety stemmed from. FROM thinking you look bad or from a deep sense of inferiority or something?

I really think it all depends, it is not a matter of simply "yes" or "no".
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

I personally think I'm a 6 on a 1-10 scale. It helps a little, but it's not like a huge difference with my SA.

The thing is that SA comes from fear of lack of social ability and not having anything to say, that kind of stuff. My body just isn't a social engine, so I am what I am, you know?

People don't always just see looks. They can look at social ability too.

I think that it's harder for a man to be beautiful anyway. A guy has to be like at least an 8 out of 10 on the looks scale to be able to just thrive on his looks by themself.
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Old 09-05-2012  
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Default Re: Would being better looking reduce social anxiety

Not for me, no. I draw anxiety from other conflicting elements.

^-^
OWO) ~( <3 )

Click the kitty for pictures, photos and screenies. :

Oh, and I saw you look. Just hug him. You know you want to.
Go on. He'll only bite a little bit.
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