You think I have a personality Problem?

FallingWind

Member
My psychiatrist said I don't have social anxiety.. She said I have a personality problem.. I think otherwise.. Still I wonder..

I'm always hesitant to talk, I'm not sure why. But i feel like I might say something wrong when I talk. Especially when I'm intimidated. I have never handled a conversation, or made a good conversation.

I'm not myself when I'm around other people. My voice is soft and cute. But when I'm home my voice is stronger.

I self pity all the time whenever I feel like things happen bad. "I hate myself, I hate myself" this is what happens..

I feel like I'm always being observed in class. Who doesn't hate that feeling!

I'm not nervous around crowds. I am conscious around crowds ONLY when in school.

I'm always awkward. Especially when I get to know the person better.

and when I'm awkward I prefer to stay quite and not look at the person.

I prefer not to engage myself in a conversation because it gets awkward when I do even if we only had a small talk. I dont look at people cause when I do, it's already a conversation. Eye to eye contact is already a conversation. and this would make people think I'm snob. and that that I don't like them, probably.

Also, I don't know how to converse. Even when we have same interests. Whenever one person talks to me I don't know how to talk back. When she says something, I'm like, "oh, ok".

In group activities, I'm the only who's always silent making me slow witted and an apathetic person who doesn't care. I don't know why but there are several people in class who is also not doing anything. The only difference between them and me is that I don't talk.. :(

One person told me why I'm always smiling when we are already in trouble in class. And it felt like she's irritated. I smiled for them. And sometimes I can't help but smile when I'm feeling the opposite way.

just lately, i feel like people only talk to me with different feelings behind the faces they show.

I'm usually not sure of the things I do. Which is right and which is wrong. I let others make the decision. Since I'm not sure, I'm not relevant..

I'm probably just overreacting.

I've been having a bad school performance lately..

So, what's my problem?
 
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