Zero SA when you like someone?

nerdgirl178

Well-known member
Maybe I am weird but when I like a man (romantically) I get extremely comfortable and have zero shyness. For example I think I asked out almost all my past boyfriends except for maybe one. I have no problem asking them out for coffee. I always find something we have in common and bring it up. Then I go from there. I've pretty much always been the pursuer.
Is it unusual? I have no problem expressing my feelings for someone, even if I feel they may not like me back. Rejection doesn't necessarily kill my spirits for long. I am not a supermodel, I think I am average looking female, I don't have low self-esteem, I think I am pretty nice person. Anyone else feel courageous and brave with the sex you like?
 

fate12321

Well-known member
Maybe I am weird but when I like a man (romantically) I get extremely comfortable and have zero shyness. For example I think I asked out almost all my past boyfriends except for maybe one. I have no problem asking them out for coffee. I always find something we have in common and bring it up. Then I go from there. I've pretty much always been the pursuer.
Is it unusual? I have no problem expressing my feelings for someone, even if I feel they may not like me back. Rejection doesn't necessarily kill my spirits for long. I am not a supermodel, I think I am average looking female, I don't have low self-esteem, I think I am pretty nice person. Anyone else feel courageous and brave with the sex you like?

Nope, not me. My SA doubles when I'm with a person I like. I wish I had your personality though.
 
Maybe I am weird but when I like a man (romantically) I get extremely comfortable and have zero shyness. For example I think I asked out almost all my past boyfriends except for maybe one. I have no problem asking them out for coffee. I always find something we have in common and bring it up. Then I go from there. I've pretty much always been the pursuer.
Is it unusual? I have no problem expressing my feelings for someone, even if I feel they may not like me back. Rejection doesn't necessarily kill my spirits for long. I am not a supermodel, I think I am average looking female, I don't have low self-esteem, I think I am pretty nice person. Anyone else feel courageous and brave with the sex you like?
^ I wish that happened for me! lol.
I was going to ask why do you think you have no trouble letting the opposite gender know you are attracted to them, then I re-read your post and found the answer...."I don't have low self-esteem".
It seems anyone who is lucky enough to be able to have or found a way to develop a good self-esteem would have the ability you have. I am curious, do you mind if I ask you if you were born with your good self-esteem or did you find a successful way to develop it?
 
Maybe I am weird but when I like a man (romantically) I get extremely comfortable and have zero shyness. For example I think I asked out almost all my past boyfriends except for maybe one. I have no problem asking them out for coffee. I always find something we have in common and bring it up. Then I go from there. I've pretty much always been the pursuer.
Is it unusual? I have no problem expressing my feelings for someone, even if I feel they may not like me back. Rejection doesn't necessarily kill my spirits for long. I am not a supermodel, I think I am average looking female, I don't have low self-esteem, I think I am pretty nice person. Anyone else feel courageous and brave with the sex you like?

Too bad there's not more like you! I understand. I've never had any problem talking to women or flirting or anything. But my SA is more crowd/ new people related. But if i see a woman i wanna talk to i go talk to her. Glad I'm not the only one! Its intriguing that you're almost always the pursuer in your case. That's awesome :thumbup:
 

nerdgirl178

Well-known member
Well to be honest I have been a natural flirt since I was 16. I just discovered boys and went crazy. I think the older I get the more confident I am. I am still very shy person though. But it has never been crippling to the point I can never get a date. I really think I am a good person. I never attract ****s or idiots. I have gone through periods where my self-esteem was bad but that was long ago. I think it just comes with age.
I think I have mild-SA but its still there. But with men I like, its never been a problem. And I think I am lucky.
 
Well to be honest I have been a natural flirt since I was 16. I just discovered boys and went crazy. I think the older I get the more confident I am. I am still very shy person though. But it has never been crippling to the point I can never get a date. I really think I am a good person. I never attract ****s or idiots. I have gone through periods where my self-esteem was bad but that was long ago. I think it just comes with age.
I think I have mild-SA but its still there. But with men I like, its never been a problem. And I think I am lucky.

^ ^ We like flirty gals! They're easier to be around than some girl that acts like she wants to striketh ye down with something when you smile at her.

I for one am enjoying this thread. :)
 

Alienated

Well-known member
I don't have any problems talking to new people of any sex, the problem is I have a natual lie detector. And when my B.S Alarm goes off, I don't want to have anything to do with them. We live in a world of liars, so I lived in isolation for 7 1/2 years. But I found a shy girl friend from another site, and have been living together for five months. We don't trust anyone, anywhere any more, and we are all we got.
 

williamreinsch

Well-known member
Yeah it really depends with me. Sometimes I can feel more comfortable and other times the fear can almost double. Totally depends on the girl and the mood I am in at the time :S I've had some real embarrassing moments with girls..
 

Earthcircle

Well-known member
When I like someone, the fear increases. But ironically the desire to connect is so strong, I usually connect with them anyway. I think I would be more social if I were attracted to more people.
 

Odo

Banned
Sometimes... it depends on the situation and whether or not I need to take a lot of initiative or really go out of my way to make contact.

I used to see people on buses and subways or in coffee shops and just be really immediately drawn to them and never have the guts to say anything. But if they were in my class or a friend of a friend or something where it was sort of expected of us to talk then I might be okay with it.
 

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
I rarely come across women that stand out to me. Last time I did it was a woman who was ten years younger than me so I kept it to myself. Anyway, I can often find myself talking to the person comfortably, but I have absolutely no idea how to approach them from a romantic standpoint
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I fear talking to everyone. It'd be great to feel comfortable talking to anyone. There is a whole spectrum of anxiety and the way we suffer from, it doesn't make anyone weird, just more human.
 
I can totally relate. I have 5 wonderful friends who are very supportive and close. Since I met them, my social anxiety has gone, and I've changed from being very negative to very positive!

Someone I know has very bad social anxiety (from dealing with bullies and other negative people and he has Autism), often feels really awkward around people. Last week, who "met" this girl, right away, he didn't feel any social anxiety, and he didn't even know her. It was right away.

She was just a girl who he saw and spoke to, on his way somewhere. He said that the last time he met someone who made he not feel awkward was years ago. Before I met my besties, I never thought I would have friends, it's amazing how things change. :)
 
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There's this boy that I've known almost forever at the church I grew up in and I'm able to talk at ease with him. I believe he also has some social anxiety but not as bad as mine (he has a steady job). I haven't seen him for a few years though since I don't go to that church anymore and I would like to see him again. I've never mustered up the courage to tell him how I feel since I'm afraid he won't like me back and then I'll be crushed. We were never like best friends or anything but whenever I spoke to him I didn't feel so anxious.
 
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