I've only lost one person, & that was an aunt who was more like a grandma to me that I was very close to when I was four. I was told that Jesus came & took her to heaven, which was okay enough for me at that age. But after that, I saw her in her casket at her funeral & that scared me to death (I couldn't think of another way to word that..) & confused me. No one really talked to me about it, I guess people assumed I'd forget, or it didn't matter, since I was only four, but I never did.
In 2007, my cat Tasia was murdered by an old neighbor &, though a pets death is nothing to some people, it was (& still is) absolutely devastating to me. I can't say what it did to my SA, necessarily, but that, compiled with all the other stress I was dealing with at the time, caused my depression to worsen even more. I had already been having suicidal thoughts for a couple years, that was before I started taking meds, & a little over a month after his death, I almost killed myself. So, death is definitely something I don't handle well. I'm worried that my mom won't live to see 2011 & I'm worried about my mental health when it happens. I'm not looking forward to the future.