Good but a little ashamed too.
I arrived at work this morning only to find out I'm up for a random drug screening. Now I know from past experience how these things are for me. The waiting area is full of strangers conversating about different things and the nurses are nice but very chatty. I made a promise to myself that I would go in and just relax, maybe even try to talk a bit.
Instead I went in, sat down and froze up. As I waited for them to call my name my heartbeat steadily climbed upward. I couldn't look at anyone without taking a deep breath.
When they finally called me I was relieved at first. I went in and did my thing (with the cup, you know) and returned to the nurse. I thought to myself I should strike up a conversation with her since she was so polite. But I couldn't get the words out. I tried to force out "hello" or "how are you doing", but I was stuck on the letter H.
When I was signing the form I suddenly notice my hand shaking. Hadn't even realize my hands were shaking and I'm sure she noticed. It was even worse when she asked why I was so quiet. All I could say was "Just tired that's all" and walk away.
I actually feel much better now though it still bothers me that I can't even attempt to change without screwing up. Better luck next time I guess.
