If you're too keen to show a shy guy interest, he feels mothered

M

mamma

Member
I like this shy guy. He seemed shocked that I like him. I'm older, so tried to make him feel super comfortable in my presence and show how much I like him. This has only seemed to make him feel mothered and turned off, but at the same time addicted to my attention I give him.

The more you give attention to a shy man, the more he feels flattered but overwhelmed, the less attention you give them, they feel they have no chance or are rejected so they do nothing. This has been my experience with several men.

Is there no way to win with shy men?
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
.......overwhelmed? It depends on what you're doing. If a woman was showing me a lot of attention and I was also interested, I would go out with her.

I wonder if he's a virgin?......Try taking it down a notch or two but continue to show interest, maybe he wants more of a chase.
 
Pyrophosphate

Pyrophosphate

1
Be direct and explicit. Ask him what he wants and tell him how you feel. Don't leave him any room to speculate and don't try to make him interpret anything, because he will probably assume the worst.
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Being shy is different from being insecure and not having a clue how to behave in simple, everyday situations. Being shy (simply shy, nothing else) means that you're a little tougher of a nut to crack, and slightly less approachable because it's harder to make that first contact (and subsequent two or three, until the person is comfortable around you).
 
R3K

R3K

Well-known member
Bronson99 said:
Man, that just makes us look bad.

I'm sure there's ways to win, you just need to know the secret code(s), or something.
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well I haven't seen any success stories...

if the OP truly wants to hook up with the shy guy, then she's gotta do ALL the work. she's gotta really, REALLY want it.

i'd recommend going covert, like jr. highschool status with him. seriously write him a love note and pass it to him when no one's looking. tell him you want to "date" under the radar and not let anyone from work or social circles know/find out about it. you have to make him feel completely worry free about it. and that includes other ppl possibly finding out and judging him about it in some way.

once you're hooked up with him, then you can see about carefully egging him into a more sociable configuration.
 
Metal_isthe_Answer

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
R3K said:
none........
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Personally I say that OP should just tell the guy directly, get it all out. A lot of guys have difficulty telling the difference between being romantically interested and just being a friend, it's worse with shy guys, especially if they have less romantic experience themselves/
 
dany

dany

Active member
If he is shy, don't wait for him to make any move because he might never do it. Just tell him what are your feelings and act like two adults. I am sure he will understand and will share the same feelings with you.
 
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