Making friends isnt the Problem...

[bsammy]

for me at least..what i am terrible at is KEEPING them...maintaining relationships is relatively easy when you are in school or when you work with someone every day but the difficulty arises when you dont have these forced everyday 'social' activities to keep you bonded with people...i have found that when you have to actually reach out and plan to hang out with people to maintain these relationships, thats when it becomes a problem especially if you are introverted and have a general lack of hobbies..thats what my problem is, i dont enjoy the bar or club scene and simply hanging out and socializing is tiring to me so ummm... ive tried to base my social get togethers around board games or certain activities but that never lasts, it always reverts back to the tired aspect of 'hanging out'...i run out of things to say and these get togethers become boring so i stop going, the time spreads further apart when i see people and the friendship ends..every single time..

anyone else have this problem?again, i only seem to enjoy 3-4 things in this life and most of those are solitary pursuits lol..so how are us introverts supposed to maintain these relationships?

this is meant more towards the late 20s and older crowd

 

[Hellhound]

One has to try to find people able to have some meaningful conversation, things in common, likes in common. If you only limit yourself to just "hang out", chances are it won't last long. Meeting others with a similar personality type helps.

 

[bsammy]

One has to try to find people able to have some meaningful conversation, things in common, likes in common. If you only limit yourself to just "hang out", chances are it won't last long. Meeting others with a similar personality type helps.

i have found people with similar likes and interests but most people in general spend the majority of their time in relationships just hanging out, talking about everyday things..they dont spend most of the time engaged in activities or deep conversation..thats the problem..

also, meeting the 'right' type of people that we mesh with is very difficult in my experience..

 

[worrywort]

Yea I feel the same. At school and in work you're kinda forced to socialize, but outside of those places, as soon as I'm given a choice to socialize or not socialize, I'll almost always choose the latter. I guess most friendships take work to maintain, and for people like us, it's often more work than it's worth. I agree with Hellhound, that meeting others with a similar personality type would help, but it's easier said than done.

 

[sorrow1]

One of the problems I have is I come across too many people. Too many people I work with and too many friends of friends that crop up. I have to divide my energy. I can so******e one on one easier and hang out with my one close mate for hours and build a bond but in a group situation I have to compete with others and generally get tired quicker and fade into the background so I become unremembered and people will choose to hang out with other more extroverted people over me. I sometimes feel I am two different people. Im the person my friend sees and then I am the quiet nobody in the group.
I think my friends tend to drop off slightly whenever I meet new people. I need my alone time so I don't have time to be friends with everybody.
Life would be simpler if I had only one person in my life, and if they were slightly introverted aswell that would be perfect.