^I wouldn't discredit dating sites that quickly. The first thing I'd say is if you go into the "game" thinking it's rigged or that no one would want to date you, it's going to add a major disadvantage. If you don't think you're worth dating that's going to reflect directly in your profile.
There may be something to this because I literally cannot lie to myself; I think a lot of unexceptional guys and even
some socially deficient guys are able to throw out the concept of "status/value" and act as if they are worthwhile anyway. I have less access to this ability especially given what I know about how these things work from experience, not to mention real-life observation. Of course, being autistic means I can't help but see the distasteful truth of life and I cannot gloss over it.
And I would say the profile for a male on a dating site is the most important thing. Male appearance in our society is generally valued much, much less than female appearance. While there are as many shallow women who only look at the money figures as there are men who just look at the pictures, it's not all of them. I wouldn't say you have to make a profile like an Instagram profile per se, but you have to make it in a way that would make someone want to date you. When I used them, I talked about how shy and awkward I was all throughout my profile, but I wasn't down on myself for it.
A man's written profile counts, but it's mostly about these "written" things: height, higher education, and income.
I have doubt that any written description can be good enough to cover universal mediocrity.
The more awkward or shy a man is, the MORE he needs things like higher education and income to compensate, far more in fact than your standard extrovert. This in itself is not even a guarantee as I've learned, until you hit the level of law degree (JD) or at least put in an in-demand degree or elite school education; STRONG higher-education is another shortcut to bypass social deficiency or some kind of disability. Some "run of the mill" degree from a crappy college will only help marginally.
And a guy who is lacking in all of these areas has no chance at all online. I regret trying at all, my self-esteem is bruised (but maybe it is my fault because I've always been a hypersensitive/fragile type.) I should have known I lack literally everything the fairer sex wants. What's the point of trying, man, in this case? Be honest.
The guys who actually read the profiles (which on POF are very short - frankly not not the best dating site out there, in my opinion) and give a thoughtful response to it and answer any questions in it are put straight to the top of the list.
I tried that and it still doesn't work.
Those are just some of my thoughts in my experience. While when it comes to pure numbers guys vastly outnumber women, but those numbers drop when you consider how many don't try either because they think they're going to fail anyway or don't realize that dating sites are not craigslist.
I tried Craigslist as well and there are some ways it is worse than dating sites. It's hard to talk about without sounding insensitive. I'll say the worst part of it was the many women sending page-long emails who usually did not even live in the same STATE as I did, all of them making a point to ask what I did; if you got in a conversation with them, they wanted to know how much I made or what I did very quickly. The gold-digger thing is very real and very unsettling.
Although I still reserve the most scorn for dating sites. The way everyone including women treat like it a LinkedIn page where everyone lists 2 Master Degrees and 75 other things "going on" in their life when it's got to be a lot of vanity BS.
I guess for women it's a way to try and narrow down the list of men who respond, in hope to find "someone high quality" and I bet many of these Double Master Degree women with 2 fulltime jobs and 75 hobbies are using a lot of creative writing skill, to feed their egocentric search for something male that has "good value, yo, because anything less is beneath me."