Just wondering if I'm an awful person for refusing to go along with the narrative my mother and oldest sister have been spouting of late; about how the middle child has changed and isn't as bad as she used to be in terms of fleeing off the handle into a tantrum style rage over the slightest things.
It's not that I don't buy, it's just, I still have PTSD from the last 4 years of having to keep my gob shut, rarely intervene in an argument. And bottling up my anger and frustration to such an unhealthy extent I'm glad my electric guitar took the murderous scheme beatings I was dishing out and not an actual person.
Though sadly, being a man raised by a single mother, me having to shut up and tolerate it has been a recurring theme since my adolescence. Insults, snide remarks, and opinions on the pop culture of TV shows, movies, and music that they immediately just assume I also hold because we're family. Heck, they still think of me as that anti-social nerd with my headphones on, music blaring and my head in a book. So much so that - as her gift to me from her week-long holiday in Yorkshire recently - my oldest sister got me a frickin' bookmark! As if she's hasn't gotten me one of those for the last 5 years, every time she goes on holiday. I mean, it was effin' Yorkshire... home of the legendary and underrated heavy metal band Saxon. And she never thought to look for the nearest music store and buying me one of their early albums on vinyl? Y'know, something that would've got a reaction outta me beyond a disappointed grunt, only for me fling it in my bedside drawer and not clap eyes on it again.