Overactive peripheral vision has made me miserable

X

xinhdep_girl

Member
I'm a 15 year old girl. I have a problem where I would stare at everyone in my peripheral vision. EVERYONE. I notice every single thing. I don't want to get people uncomfortable! Really, I have much better things to do than sit and stare. It gets so embarrassing. I want to hide sometimes. It got really bad in Spanish class yesterday. The teacher told me to look at the board so she could explain to me something I did wrong. Everyone in my peripheral vision was looking at me and I just couldn't look up anymore. I ended up looking at everyone in my peripheral vision... I had to explain to her the next day. :sad:
Now, I'm going to go to a therapist/psychiatrist for it. I wish there were some medication to stop this. I'd be very, very thankful. I was a very talkative girl, I loved talking to people and making friends. I love being in the spotlight. Heck, I still do, but when I think about going out there with my OCD....no.... I get so jealous of people I see on stage. It started around age 13/14.... Now I am too insecure to make new friends...or I try to avoid getting to close to them. I don't want to go out. Sometimes, I want to travel. I would LOVE to go to a different country to study for a year or something. I can't even do that anymore. This summer, I want to take a Spanish 3 class at a college because I hate Spanish and want to get it over with...but another few weeks at school?? Count me out. I want summer to come so that I can be by myself.
I can't even watch movies with people because they notice me looking at them. It's gotten SO bad that now when I watch movies/look at the board, I have to check (directly) to see if people notice me looking. Now they can really catch me looking. It's taking over me and I can't wait to go to someone to help me.....I feel like it will take over my social life, my love life, it has even happened with my family members. I want to be normal again.
I get anti-social because of this. I don't want people to think I'm the weird girl that stares at everyone. It wasn't as bad before but now it is. In math class and spanish class I sit in the back and it's torture.
I don't want to miss out on life anymore. I want to live normally again.
 
Last edited:
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
I've never heard of this before. I hope you can get help for it, considering how it's ruining your life.
 
SoScared

SoScared

Well-known member
Yes, you are right it is all in your head……These will calm your mind down.

The gaze is often implicit or explicit in Bhante Bodhidamma Guided Meditations or talks.

Start with…Abiding in the Present Moment Developing Equanimity…from
Satipanya Buddhist Retreat

So now you have the basic idea….

Next

Dharma Seed - Dharma Talks

Select Teacher Bhante Bodhidamma Dharma Talks - 32 talks
Select Standing Meditation 29-05-2009 from the dropdown menu ….the url below goes to it directly

Dharma Seed - Bhante Bodhidhamma's Dharma Talks

The first third is similar to the first meditation you hopefully completed. The last two thirds explains things a lot more. (after about 17 mins)

Then either any of his 2 techniques talks or an awareness talk from the dropdown menu or any Detailed Guided Meditation from the first site.

Equanimity and noting techniques would be beneficial to you.

Good luck..….feel free to ask brief specific questions.
 
feelsconfusing

feelsconfusing

Member
You remind me of myself. I started this habit at age 14-15 and now I am 20. I feel the same way that you do and I don't think it's gotten any better. There has just been lot of ups and downs. Don't let that discourage you though, I've never gotten help... Just being in my shell for all this time. Best of luck to you!
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I have this problem, and it can get overpowering. I'm scared of looking at people in the adjoining supermarket auto checkout counter. Or people in meetings anyone who is in my line of sight. Sometimes I stand or move around in a way that my line of sight is blocked. I'm scared of looking at wedding rings, earings, nose rings, sleepy eyes, withered arms, cleavage, any exposed bit of skin, armpit hair, bare feet, stray bits of clothing. I worry about my hand shaking when I sign cheques. I am really only comfortable talking to people in the dark or wearing sunglasses. My anxiety seriously pisses some people off, and I guess that is my worse fear coming true.

I'll give myself a pat on the back and say it is amazing I have achieved what I have given the severity of my anxiety.
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
I have the same problem. This has to be one of the worst versions of OCD out there (I've had more than a few of them). I'm also going to go into therapy. I recently had a meeting with a Psychiatrist and she convinced me to take Anafranil, which is considered the strongest medication for OCD. I'm at 25mg now, but according to her, I will probably need to take 150-200mg.
 
L

looker644

New member
This is tough to deal with. I have the same. I also have compulsive crotch looking (my term) and chlomipramine is helping with this, but I.ll need to up the dosage. I.ve learned to cope by restricting my peripheral vision by positioning myself and wearing a baseball cap which helps. If I find myself focusing on someone (it.s always people) I.ll get up and do someone else. When did you figure out something was wrong. Did you get professional help.
 
H

Helpless

Active member
xinhdep_girl said:
I'm a 15 year old girl. I have a problem where I would stare at everyone in my peripheral vision. EVERYONE. I notice every single thing. I don't want to get people uncomfortable! Really, I have much better things to do than sit and stare. It gets so embarrassing. I want to hide sometimes. It got really bad in Spanish class yesterday. The teacher told me to look at the board so she could explain to me something I did wrong. Everyone in my peripheral vision was looking at me and I just couldn't look up anymore. I ended up looking at everyone in my peripheral vision... I had to explain to her the next day. :sad:
Now, I'm going to go to a therapist/psychiatrist for it. I wish there were some medication to stop this. I'd be very, very thankful. I was a very talkative girl, I loved talking to people and making friends. I love being in the spotlight. Heck, I still do, but when I think about going out there with my OCD....no.... I get so jealous of people I see on stage. It started around age 13/14.... Now I am too insecure to make new friends...or I try to avoid getting to close to them. I don't want to go out. Sometimes, I want to travel. I would LOVE to go to a different country to study for a year or something. I can't even do that anymore. This summer, I want to take a Spanish 3 class at a college because I hate Spanish and want to get it over with...but another few weeks at school?? Count me out. I want summer to come so that I can be by myself.
I can't even watch movies with people because they notice me looking at them. It's gotten SO bad that now when I watch movies/look at the board, I have to check (directly) to see if people notice me looking. Now they can really catch me looking. It's taking over me and I can't wait to go to someone to help me.....I feel like it will take over my social life, my love life, it has even happened with my family members. I want to be normal again.
I get anti-social because of this. I don't want people to think I'm the weird girl that stares at everyone. It wasn't as bad before but now it is. In math class and spanish class I sit in the back and it's torture.
I don't want to miss out on life anymore. I want to live normally again.
Click to expand...

feelsconfusing said:
You remind me of myself. I started this habit at age 14-15 and now I am 20. I feel the same way that you do and I don't think it's gotten any better. There has just been lot of ups and downs. Don't let that discourage you though, I've never gotten help... Just being in my shell for all this time. Best of luck to you!
Click to expand...

I have the same problem and I'm struggling to cope with my stressful life. I hope there is a solution to end this miserable thing.:crying:
 
H

Helpless

Active member
ImNotMyIllness said:
I have the same problem. This has to be one of the worst versions of OCD out there (I've had more than a few of them). I'm also going to go into therapy. I recently had a meeting with a Psychiatrist and she convinced me to take Anafranil, which is considered the strongest medication for OCD. I'm at 25mg now, but according to her, I will probably need to take 150-200mg.
Click to expand...

Why psychiatrist but not psychologist? I'll only opt for medications when it is the only solution to this OCD thing. By the way, I'm already struggling for years without any professional help and would like to seek some advice to those who went to psychologists, thanks.
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
I have this problem too, and people point me out for it. I used to do eye contact with people but it might have freaked some people out. There was one time when I spoke to a guy in class. I smiled widely (and genuinely), gave lots of eye contact, and did everything according to the book. I could tell he was uncomfortable with me for some reason. Afterwards, he started telling his friend and other classmates that I keep on looking at him. So the other classmates would start looking at my eyes and whenever I look at them, they would look away and then say that I do stare at people. It got to the point where I had to look at the teacher when doing class presentations and avoid looking at the classmates. Well, at least the teacher was nice.

I also get pointed out for looking at people indirectly, through my peripheral vision. I have gotten scared of looking at people in the eye (unless it's family) nowadays, but there have been times when people thought I was shady because I avoided eye contact.
I'm just not sure what to do.
 
X

xinhdep_girl

Member
looker644 said:
This is tough to deal with. I have the same. I also have compulsive crotch looking (my term) and chlomipramine is helping with this, but I.ll need to up the dosage. I.ve learned to cope by restricting my peripheral vision by positioning myself and wearing a baseball cap which helps. If I find myself focusing on someone (it.s always people) I.ll get up and do someone else. When did you figure out something was wrong. Did you get professional help.
Click to expand...

It's always been like this since maybe middle school. Nothing really bad happened from it, until like i said that day in Spanish class. Thats when I knew I couldn't live this way anymore. I'm going to a therapist for it.
 
Trishanku

Trishanku

Well-known member
looker644 said:
This is tough to deal with. I have the same. I also have compulsive crotch looking (my term) and chlomipramine is helping with this, but I.ll need to up the dosage. I.ve learned to cope by restricting my peripheral vision by positioning myself and wearing a baseball cap which helps. If I find myself focusing on someone (it.s always people) I.ll get up and do someone else. When did you figure out something was wrong. Did you get professional help.
Click to expand...

I searched and searched for using terms Like your "crotch looking" like i used gaze fixation, creepy staring and what not. till one day I typed 'staring at peoples privates' and i was so relieved that day, to find many threads and so many people having this issue. I even made my therapist look at comments and replies by various people suffering this. but he dismissed it, earlier he had put me on anti-psychotics and anti-deps. He was of the opinion I was schizophrenic and I was delusional. Even sad when i told my first therapist how hell my life is because of this. she told me to get my eyes checked I was like :kickingmyself: :crying:

I've had this embarrasing thing of staring at breasts of women and crotches of guys adding with my hypervigilant peripheral vision now life could not have gotten worse for me. I quit my jobs because of this. I known as the pervert in my college because i was wearing sunglass, i rarely spoke to girls. when i did, i used to look at their feet unable to face them and I opted for a marketing, a sales job and I was in a panicky state always.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
You guys are not alone. Sometimes I find my eyes glancing down at people's crotches, butts, or boobs, and I have to quickly avert my eyes or glance elsewhere. Sometimes when my brother sits across from me with his legs spread open, I feel so uncomfortable until he closes his legs or goes away. Sometimes when I meet new people I see them as sexual objects and I feel so horrible and embarassed! Sometimes I find myself wondering how 2 people get it on together and it makes me wanna punch myself.

I think we've been conditioned by society to place an emphasis on such body parts. The media is a big culprit in glamorizing sexiness and sexuality in both genders. We have been brainwashed to see each other as sexual objects. In America you can't escape from it. It's everywhere! What I try to do is turn to spirituality for comfort.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
So last last week I went out with my friend and had this problem. When we were sitting at food court eating lunch, I find myself looking at my friend's chest and her chicken bites 90% of the time. Sometimes I look up at my friend's face when she talks and make brief eye contact, but then I would glance down and find myself hunched over and somehow, her chest and chicken bites were right in my vision. I was afraid of looking at other people or looking elsewhere because I might accidentally make weird eye contact with other people. Now that I think about it, I feel so bad for looking at her chest and I'm not gay. I just feel so anxious that I had nowhere to look but down. It's just so awkward I hope she doesn't think I'm gay or get the wrong idea.
 
X

xinhdep_girl

Member
Hi everyone! It's been 2 years. I have gone through therapy and I have improved so much. If anyone needs help or advice, just message me! I might write a whole post about how I got through it.
 
Mike555

Mike555

Active member
xinhdep_girl said:
Hi everyone! It's been 2 years. I have gone through therapy and I have improved so much. If anyone needs help or advice, just message me! I might write a whole post about how I got through it.
Click to expand...

HOW HOW HOW HOW! I NEED TO overcome this TOO. IMMEDIATELY. IT'S A nightmare to live with this! it's a curse.
 
N

nicole1

Well-known member
You can't help it. I know what you mean. I notice so many things without even trying. It sucks, and being misunderstood by others suck even more.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top