A normal life

[takethislife]

I guess this goes to those over 30 or 40 or at least adults
Has anyone managed to have a normal life in spite of... everything?

I'm talking to those of you who had SA as teens, weirdos, those who never talked and always have been bullied, you know, losers as teens.

And by this 'normal life' I mean the life everyone else has (at least around me). Everyone is married and has kids and friends and stuff. Almost everyone where I'm from is like that. My parents expect me to 'grow out of it' and have this life some day..

I'm just a teen and I already see this is just not going to happen. I'm not drowning in self pity or anything, I'm just being real. No. Way.

Is there someone who made it?

 

[SeniorRedrings]

No.
Failed completely on the whole normality achievement thing.

It's not so bad.Most married men hold within them strange anger and a sense of loss and deprivation.

 

[Aletheia]

^I'm at that stage where a lot of the "normal" people I know are having mid-life crises as they realize that their lives aren't what they want them to be.

 

[OceanMist]

I'm 27, but I'm getting closer to 30. My life is far from normal.

Of course, normal doesn't sound that great to me. I don't want kids, if that's normal. I don't have the money for kids, nor do I want to raise kids. It's too much responsibility, time and money.

I guess having a g/f or being married is normal by my age. I wouldn't mind sharing my life with a woman that I love. That isn't happening and hasn't happened for me ever.

Well, that's my story.

 

[kilojoule]

Unfortunately the post cant be completely answered. The majority of those that have gone on to lead the more orthadox life are not active on this website. Most the users here are in the same boat as you. But there ARE a lot of people who have worked their way out of it. You dont just grow out of it, it takes a bit of work.

Im 26 and I have struggled with agoraphobia and SA on/off for about 8 years but I lead as normal a life as I can. I share a house with some guys and I have had a few relationships. Ive worked the whole time until feb this yr but I gave up work for different reasons. You absolutely can live whatever life you want. It takes a bit of work and can be hard at times but pretty much anything worth doing is hard to do. So completely worth it.

 

[Aletheia]

I'm not over 30, but at 25 (26 in January) I am at the point where I should have established the foundations for the rest of my life. That I have failed to do will innevitably affect my 30s.

Aristocrat, I know a number of people whose lives were a complete mess during their twenties, and who now have "normal" lives. If that helps any.

It is true that if you haven't established foundations by thirty or so, things do get much tougher.

 

[takethislife]

So, basically as I thought.
Maybe it's best to accept it and focus on something else.

 

[nicole1]

I'm 24 going on 25 in June.... I am not normal by any means. I still live at home, have not graduated yet b/c of my struggle with SA, and can't hold a job to save my life. I am doing what I can now to have the life I WANT. I'm trying to let go of the standards that everyone else sets and just do what I enjoy and work towards the success I desire. I hope to get there one way or another...

I don't think it's impossible for any of us not to have a normal life. I just think a lot of us have had to take different routes to find our own "normal" life. Just b/c you are in one place right now and it seems like it's hard to get away from that does not mean that you'll be in that spot forever. It takes A LOT of work.

 

[theslowesthand]

I suspect my "whole situation" will never allow an even-remotely normal life (am nearing 40, so i should know).

I never was really that bothered about it, but now i am having a few "reservations" abouts how my life has turned out. I have recently started thinking that i've "done it all wrong", right from the beginning .. but its done now, no way to wind back the clock (its the old "if i knew then what i know now" thing).

From my wisdom, i will say that worry not so much that you'll ever have a normal, life but that you'll have a happy life ("normal" does not automatically equal "happy"). Worry foremost not about your future lifestyle, but future well-being, which is an enormously complex topic, involving things such as beliefs, experiences, genetics, philosophy, religion, ... - so i will stop at that.