A note for the people who are afraid to hit a bully back

Honda

Honda

Well-known member
I have been bullied most of my life in school and i was always too afraid to fight back and it negatively affected my life after.. My parents used to come on occasions complaining to school about why im bruised up. I used to hide in class when its break time so I dont interact with then at the playground and I never played sports because I was too scared of embarrassment.. I used to sit in the front seats of the bus or even stay standing up because i was too scared to fight for a seat or because people slap the back of my neck or push my head when im seated..
I mean lets face it, the only way was if i stood up for at least once; this caused for me an intense fear of socially interacting with people during college for the 1st 2 years. I was naive and i didn't understand at that time.. Id never want see the faces of anyone from high school or even someone that knows them.. Im too scared to open up about this subject to friends fearing this will make them abuse me.. Im tired of replaying bad memories inside my head its just too much and nothing or at least i havent tried hard enough to bring in something new in my life good enough to make me feel like i got over this. Now i graduated 1 year ago and im working yet it still haunts me..
If you ask me i missed alot of things in life cuz of my fear and cowardice including my self respect.. It affected me deeply, i didnt dare to date girls, make new friends, go to places, get jobs, etc..
Now i think id rather have the courage to take a risk, get in trouble and get beaten up real bad, in the end of the day life is a risk and a mystery might as well live it up.. Some of bullying was actually jokes that people dont take seriously but i used to take it personally and people used to get angry or mess around with me more when they see that im taking something silly really seriously.
The bullies will always be there and im not fighting for ego but for earning a little bit of respect for knowing i at least stood up and that they will leave you alone because as soon as they see fear or the lack of confidence some people will be daring enough to abuse that..
Nobody likes looking like a coward and they try their best to show people they are strong; the difference between us and them is we got used to the idea of giving up for fear rather than facing the harsh truth.. The key solution is making the victims realize this as early as possible.. I realized this later on and now have a hard time getting over it..
Sure life and society is not fair but you gotta adjust to it if you want to live and i hate society cuz it sets a certain definition or standard for people.. And if you want to be yourself freed from all this ego and nonsense they live on then it does take balls and its not easy...
 
Waybuloo

Waybuloo

Well-known member
I like the frankness of your post OP. Bitter sweet, but it is good to hear of an experience like yours which i'm sure has made you a stronger person.

I think most bullies are cowards and would only do it if they think they would come out on top. However there are a select few people who are psychotic enough to fight regardless of whether you fight back. For every success story there is probably one where fighting back has done worse than good. Maybe you need to be pushed enough, like you have, just to the brink of madness to do it effectively. I'm sure that having a psychotic look in your eyes also help to scare them off.

I have been very angry in my past, but never to the point of not caring what happened. I see colleagues talking about my quietness a form of bullying me now because it touches a soft spot. Needless to say I can't just lash out at them. My bf though has said that he was pushed to the limit once by some guys at College and just floored one. They never tried it on him after that.
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
You know sometimes we come up with theories and ideas so we could rest at ease and be able to sleep at the end of the day... I gotta say convincing yourself that bullies are cowards wont fix anything... The fact that people seeing fear inside you motivates them to be bullies and the fact some people bully around to show off their power.. In the end of the day each of us is different some of us can keep their cool; others are too scared to face their fears.. Its all about how we were raised, our experiences in life and probably our biology... We just need to adjust and its not easy, its f**king hard... In the end of day, im not a jew but the Talmud says 'the best revenge is to live'... Well the world out there is waay beyond a bunch of du****s m****r f****rs, so mite aswell enjoy the beautiful part of it..
But wait! you where it puzzles you! The fact you spend your life living is fear and shame for not facing those fools and the fact you find it the hardest thing to face in life and you know that you cant enjoy life until you accept responsibility and live with it... Stay real, accept life and never give up as life got good as much as it got bad... I just felt like posting this up...
 
P

pjcarter85

Member
I tried to hit back once, and I got my arm twisted hard. Hitting back may work for some people, but when bullies picked on me, it was not because they were looking for a challenge from someone who was a good match for them. They were looking for an easy beat down, and it worked every time.

Anyway, I was usually being pinned down or restrained in some way while I was being hit, so I couldn't even try to hit back.
 
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