scorpion said:
Well APD people are very afraid of rejection.
They realy like a person, but are so afraid that person will leave them, so they do it first.
He problably loves you very much, but just doesnt believe you want to stay with him.
Dont think less of yourself, because it has nothing to do with you.
And dont give him up, because he realy doesnt want that.
The only thing that we APD sufferers want is someone that doent gives up on us, even whend it seems we are giving up on them.
This is very well explained. Couldn't be said better.
So it's not your fault at all. You're not doing anything wrong. He is trying to protect himself from breaking up, so to avoid that pain (rejection), that is the essence of avoidant personality, he dumped you first.
Of course that has no logical sence, to dump someone you love, but apd doesn't care about logic.
So as ilogic as it may sound, the more he loves you, the more he wants to dump you just to not suffer if you eventually dump him.
The best way to deal with this is to insist untill he realizes you love him just as much. Of course this may take months, but as you noticed, avoidants prove to be the most caring persons once they are secure that the feeling is mutual.
Letting go of him will tell him that you don't care about him and will make him think that he did the right thing - leaving you, thus leading him deeper into his false belives, making his apd more pronounced.
Hope you'll have the patience cause that is ALL you need. Good luck and don't give up