advice please

[Chilling__Echo]

I absolutely cannot run from this disorder any longer. i thought that i could get by but coming back from my spring break last week (which was hell), things have really come to slap me in the face.

things with my boyfriend are getting tense, he's always always always been there for me even though he doesn't completely understand it. but when i'm stressed, he's stressed. when i'm unhappy, he's unhappy, and i'm not happy with myself. i think if nothing else, the one thing that's followed me these past few years is my unhappiness with myself. it's so essential to everything else! i feel like things i didn't even know were there in my head until now i look inside and i just see a stack of things i've forgotten about over time.

i really need to talk to a proffessional. i think i'm going back on the meds. going and getting a prescription written out for me was no problem after a while but i actually need to talk to someone. i've closed myself off and i trust no one. i can't talk to anyone. i have maybe one friend, but i can't rely on her to take me from my lonliness and i can't rely on my bf to be the one thing there for me for support, that's too much weight for him to bear. i've become so bitter and i need to basically chill out. the last thing i want to do is to sacrifice my relationship just because i can't get my shit together!

all in all i just need to vent and if anyone has any advice on actually talking things out with a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist, i'd very much appreciate it. in the end i NEED to open up, but i really don't know how.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hey masterpiece, your words are too kind! i do feel alot like you described, i think i just think too much and get overwhelmed. hopefully tomorrow i can make an appointment and gather up some courage to talk to somebody. something's got to give because i know that it's affecting two people instead of just one. i just have to figure out what to say! but thanks, i've always got an ear out if you need it.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

there was a microphone in the wall?!?!

aren't they supposed to inform you about those things? i.e. privacy? 8O

counselors make me nervous, especially since i've already ditched two appointments of the one at my university's

 

[Chrisfishes]

I was in the same situation a few months ago, no one to talk to except my gf. She was sick and tired of hearing me moan. Luckily I found a good therapist, and was able to feel comfortable enough with her to talk about things. I was so amazed at the difference it made. Just getting it all out was like a weight off my shoulders. We didn't really come to any conclusions to why I felt like this but even having someone to listen to you rant and try put things into perspective for you can be really helpful.

 

[annie]

Hi Chilling_Echo,

What about support groups?
We have support groups here in Oz where people can go and discuss their issues and vent without being judged.
Of course you can go to a therapist, but it is expensive.
I attend support groups and I know that most of the people who attend the weekly meetings get alot of support from them as everyone is caring and very supportive.

My 2 cents worth.

annie

 

[Chilling__Echo]

Chrisfishes, how are you now? has your situation changed any?

Annie, I'm going to ask about that. I wish I could meet people here like me. luckily though i'm in college and the services are free and my prescriptions are discounted reckon i ought to take advantage of it

 

[Chrisfishes]

My situation has not really changed but is about to change completly. In a few weeks my gf and I are quitting our job in spain and heading off in separate ways. We have been in europe for 2 years and together for 3. We don't know what the future holds, we are best friends and may find ourselves together agian but we both feel we need the time apart. My sp has only had a name now for about 6 months and my gf and I and my therapist that helped me all think we will benefit from some time apart from each other to let me try to understand myself and then hope to improve my situation. I agree with them completly, its either split up now or end up hating each other in 6 months or a year. It was a hard choice to make but we hope for the best it the end. I hate the feeling like my sp is the reason for alot of our conflicts, but I am much happier now than I was a year ago when I still thought I was going crazy. I like having a reason now and hope knowing more will only help me.
We are lucky to be able to pack up and move on quite easily, and I have always found a change of routine can be the best medicine. Find something you really want to do for yourself, and then go from there.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

wow, i want to say i'm sorry but i guess i should say congrats? i'm glad that you found a solution though but i know that hurts. i saw a counselor today and i guess i feel more confident? i need an instant fix! lol but i am going back onto Paxil and hopefully i can meet some people and stuff. but yeah, good luck with what you're doing and

Find something you really want to do for yourself, and then go from there.

i agree, that's a wonderful state of mind and i hope you do that! best of luck to you