Age differences in relationships??
- Thread starter Emosocks
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Ree
Well-known member
I wouldn't worry too much 
it's only 4 years difference... and there's plenty of people who are together with a much greater age gap. Also, apparently guys mature later compared to girls, so it's more kind of natural for girls to go with guys older than them. I don't think you can really get 'too old or too young', love is love after all Good luck!
it's only 4 years difference... and there's plenty of people who are together with a much greater age gap. Also, apparently guys mature later compared to girls, so it's more kind of natural for girls to go with guys older than them. I don't think you can really get 'too old or too young', love is love after all Good luck!That's...ok, lots of 16 year old girls used to date guys a few years older when I was at school. The oldest was around 24, which seemed too old to me at the time, but they both seemed very happy. I was jealous really, now I'm in my 30s and still have no one. No chance now, oh well!
Lavinialuna
Well-known member
As a woman I would like to say that 4 years is nothing. My husband and I are 5 years apart (I'm older) but it hasn't been an issue.
As a mother I would like to caution that you are pretty young to be dating a sexually mature man. He would likely be more experienced than you , and perhaps be ready for a more physical relationship more quickly. Also, depending on where you live and your local laws, he could possibly get in trouble for dating someone under the age of 18. He could get the label of "sex offender" for having sex with a minor and that would follow him for the rest of his life. Sex offenders have a hard time finding jobs, and felons can't get a passport (in the US, anyway.) If you really care about him, it might be wise to wait the 2 years.
As a mother I would like to caution that you are pretty young to be dating a sexually mature man. He would likely be more experienced than you , and perhaps be ready for a more physical relationship more quickly. Also, depending on where you live and your local laws, he could possibly get in trouble for dating someone under the age of 18. He could get the label of "sex offender" for having sex with a minor and that would follow him for the rest of his life. Sex offenders have a hard time finding jobs, and felons can't get a passport (in the US, anyway.) If you really care about him, it might be wise to wait the 2 years.
My personal response is, I don't care. What you guys do is irrelevant to me, do what you want.
Howeevveerr... when people mention age differences, the issue isn't years. Its emotional maturity, sexual maturity and life experience. There's laws preventing these things in most states and countries for a reason - they don't just make them up for fun.
If you were 20, and he was 24... there'd be no issue.
But the difference between a 16 yr old and a 20 year old is pretty big.
This type of thing has happened where Ive lived before and the people are always viewed badly - you'd be viewed as pretty immature (or poorly educated/ from a lower socioeconomic background, usually) to not be able to see there's an issue (and possibly a bit 'promiscuous', because in terms of development he *should* be well and truly a much more sexual being than yourself at the moment, and yet, you're dating him), and he as a sex offender.
If it was love, neither of you would have a problem waiting. If its not, then you'd have to wonder why he is dating you, and vice versa.
Again, I'm a big believer in do whatever you want... but the above is something to think about - the laws aren't there for nothing, and people don't form these views from thin air.
Also, there's nothing wrong with telling people how you feel... they should be supportive of *you*, though they may not be supportive of taking your feelings any further. You should still be able to talk about it.
Howeevveerr... when people mention age differences, the issue isn't years. Its emotional maturity, sexual maturity and life experience. There's laws preventing these things in most states and countries for a reason - they don't just make them up for fun.
If you were 20, and he was 24... there'd be no issue.
But the difference between a 16 yr old and a 20 year old is pretty big.
This type of thing has happened where Ive lived before and the people are always viewed badly - you'd be viewed as pretty immature (or poorly educated/ from a lower socioeconomic background, usually) to not be able to see there's an issue (and possibly a bit 'promiscuous', because in terms of development he *should* be well and truly a much more sexual being than yourself at the moment, and yet, you're dating him), and he as a sex offender.
If it was love, neither of you would have a problem waiting. If its not, then you'd have to wonder why he is dating you, and vice versa.
Again, I'm a big believer in do whatever you want... but the above is something to think about - the laws aren't there for nothing, and people don't form these views from thin air.
Also, there's nothing wrong with telling people how you feel... they should be supportive of *you*, though they may not be supportive of taking your feelings any further. You should still be able to talk about it.
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bcsr
Well-known member
It's relative.
There is typically a huge emotional maturity gap between 16 and 20, as opposed to say 26 and 30. How many adults can honestly say they were mature enough to make the best decisions at 16? I know I wasn't.
There's also the legal issues. Depending on where you live, he could be prosecuted for statutory rape if someone were to report it.
There is typically a huge emotional maturity gap between 16 and 20, as opposed to say 26 and 30. How many adults can honestly say they were mature enough to make the best decisions at 16? I know I wasn't.
There's also the legal issues. Depending on where you live, he could be prosecuted for statutory rape if someone were to report it.
MotherWolff
Banned
I remember meeting a creep online that told me he was like 50 years old and I was about 20. This dude wanted to have sex with me and I'm like thinking this is so weird I gotta stop talking to this guy and I did.
I think that if someone is older than you to the point where it would appear to be statutory rape......you should wait some years. When you're of age,its ok(like 18). Its your life, Emosocks.
eeep a very delicate subject. There's a lot of good replies here, this ones particularly good.
yup that about sums it up.
You could be as mature as this guy mentally but then there's sexual maturity and experience and emotional maturity and all that and yea I think its probably a bad idea to be honest. I'd veer away from older guys for a few years.
I don't think age matters once everybody is an adult. My ex was 4 years older than me and it never came up except when he hit his 30s before me.
lavinialuna said:
yup that about sums it up.
You could be as mature as this guy mentally but then there's sexual maturity and experience and emotional maturity and all that and yea I think its probably a bad idea to be honest. I'd veer away from older guys for a few years.
I don't think age matters once everybody is an adult. My ex was 4 years older than me and it never came up except when he hit his 30s before me.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
I dated a 29 year old when I was 22. Age gap was not the biggest issue in the relationship, it was the level of maturity of us both.
Most of my friends are in their 20's and I get along better with them than with older people. I don't know why. There's a few exceptions, but not many.
They're either too mature for their age or I'm immature.
Most of my friends are in their 20's and I get along better with them than with older people. I don't know why. There's a few exceptions, but not many.
They're either too mature for their age or I'm immature.