Aggressive people steal my self-esteem

[Drew]

My main goal is to become more relaxed and confident in social situations. It’s something that I have to consciously work on day in and day out.

It’s frustrating how one person can rob me of all that with a single sentence or gesture. From cutting in front of me in a line, to using me as the object of a “harmless” joke, to intentionally excluding me from something -in many cases, this person is probably oblivious to what they have done. I, on the other hand, will think obsessively about the incident and beat myself up for days. In the end, I just end up feeling as weak and pathetic as I have always felt. Any progress that was made is now gone. Eventually, I get the courage to pick myself up and try again, but this cycle can be exhausting.

I’ve been told many times that I need to stop being so sensitive and to stop taking things so personally. This is one of the basic characteristics of SA, don’t you know. So, to tell me to stop taking things so seriously is like telling a paraplegic to get up and walk.

I wonder if the aggressive people of this world have any clue how their actions can affect some of us.

 

[The_9th_passenger]

I understand you very well. I've got a big self-steem problm so I know all that. It takes so much effort from me to increase a little my low self-steem... but then just one look, one word, one smile... and everything goes to hell.
That's what happens everytime someone calls me shy or whatever similar thing.

 

[allanboy]

I´ve always wanted to say this what you feel, but never found the words(happens quite often). I can empathize with this very much, although the "self-steem steal" isnt all big as it was before.

 

[The_9th_passenger]

In my case, not onlymy self-steem gets lost, but also my personality! When people treatme like I'm so shy to the point of being sub-normal :x then my personality just vanishes and gets replaced by a stupid coward super-shy childish boy. And I hate that because as you can see makes me feel so bad about myself... How can one feel when seeing himself as such shit?
The thing is I'm in a work where people is very social so I find that big difficulty and plus they treatme that way -as above described- not that they want to really hurt me (they could really hurt me a lot if they wanted) but still it hurts me a lot.

 

[Septor]

Yep that how i feel to about self esteem.I have low self esteem and just one word or look can ruin the whole day for me.Although im not the but of any “harmless” joke I can see how that would make a person feel and I feel for anyone that goes through that.

Rememeber there nothing to be ashamed of becuase you are shy or quit. No matter what anyone said but saying it and putting it into action are to different thing that even I have problem with.

 

[maggie]

My main goal is to become more relaxed and confident in social situations. It’s something that I have to consciously work on day in and day out.

It’s frustrating how one person can rob me of all that with a single sentence or gesture. From cutting in front of me in a line, to using me as the object of a “harmless” joke, to intentionally excluding me from something -in many cases, this person is probably oblivious to what they have done. I, on the other hand, will think obsessively about the incident and beat myself up for days. In the end, I just end up feeling as weak and pathetic as I have always felt. Any progress that was made is now gone. Eventually, I get the courage to pick myself up and try again, but this cycle can be exhausting.

I’ve been told many times that I need to stop being so sensitive and to stop taking things so personally. This is one of the basic characteristics of SA, don’t you know. So, to tell me to stop taking things so seriously is like telling a paraplegic to get up and walk.

I wonder if the aggressive people of this world have any clue how their actions can affect some of us.

hi Drew ...i deal with aggressive people at work....some of my coworkers...a truck driver...and some customers....and i think you're right....most of them probably don't have a clue how frickin rude and pushy they are and how shitty they make us feel :x

 

[silverwolf]

My self-esteem is always very shaky. I build it up over time and then just when I start to feel good ssomthing ruins it. For me it's when I compare myself to others. For example when a girl I like completely ignores me and is really enjoys spending time with another guy (this happens a lot) this rips me up. (I just sounded like a real women there :lol: )

 

[Falcon]

Hey Drew, I definitely hear you. Same thing often happens to me.

I found a strategy that works well when someone makes a joke at my expense (that I didn't really deserve). Just go "what?" as if you didn't hear. Then they'll repeat it, and you go "what!?", again pretending not to have heard. If they repeat it again, they'll start looking stupid, and the attention will be off you.

It sounds dumb but it has worked for me, back when I had friends and actually went out occasionally :roll: