Anger and Shyness

[SomeGuy]

I have never hurt anyone in my life and I never would. I am very careful with other people's feelings.

But...I am also a very angry person. No-one knows. I bottle it up. Recently, two female co-workers were laughing at the very idea of me being angry - they couldn't even imagine such a thing.

I wonder if this is common or not? Is my secret rage linked to my shyness?

I get angry at wrongs done to me but I also get very angry about wrongs done to other people. I am good at working up a rightous rage. Alas, it doesn't translate into charity. For instance, I'm liable to work myself up into a fury over the treatment of the homeless, but do I actually donate time to help them? Nope.

 

[maggie]

I am the same type of person, would never hurt anyone, try not to hurt anyone's feelings. On the other hand, I am pissed off a lot, but most people would never guess it, I never show it. I do keep a lot of my feelings bottled up.

 

[ColdAsIce]

At my last work place I was surprised to get promoted (lord knows how I pulled it off...lol)...but anyway it turned out to be the worst mistake of my life!! The pressure was so bad, I just couldn't handle it!! Usually I am a very calm and placid person but I always found myself getting angry with myself and my co workers...I was even warned on a couple of occassions that people had picked up on my 'bad attitude'...which kind of confused me....lol...I didn't realise I even had one!!.... :?

In the end, I couldn't take it nolonger and so I handed my notice in and ended my only chance of having a job that would of secured me a meaningful and promising future....'WHAT A LOSER!!' (I hear you all!!...lol)and so my point is because of my SP I find pressure impossible to manage, and the reason for this is my SP brings out the worst in me in just about every situation......

 

[Fredscars]

everybody had hurt somebody at sometime, its human nature, and unless you are that person you cant see what will and will not hurt them mentally.
im not accusing you,just pointing out that no-one is innocent.

i get angry alot, and tend to put it on others, such as my bf as i cant control it. I do this especially when others make me angry, but i make myself angry alot because i hate alot of the things i do. i dont like that i do this, but i do it anyway. Being angry is normal, you just have to learn how to represent that emotion in a peaceful way, or if it is a wrong done to you, it perhaps would be better to show that anger in a way that does not create a situation, but which resolves the injustice.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

Hey someguy, i have really bad anger problems that i only recently realized i had to get help for. anger is truely bad for the soul (not to get to philosophical here) but it does end up hurting only you in the end. i know it's directly linked to my SA, i think it's got to do with our pride and how we feel around others, we're tired of being the ones finishing last, don't let it get to you and don't wait for it to be too late

 

[annie]

Hey someguy, i have really bad anger problems that i only recently realized i had to get help for. anger is truely bad for the soul (not to get to philosophical here) but it does end up hurting only you in the end. i know it's directly linked to my SA, i think it's got to do with our pride and how we feel around others, we're tired of being the ones finishing last, don't let it get to you and don't wait for it to be too late

Hi Chilling_Echo,

I totally agree with you that anger is truely bad for the soul.
I had huge anger issues about four years ago with good reason and I was directing my anger to all the wrong people, but also discovered that it wasn't healthy for me being an angry person.
For the last four years I have really been working on the anger problem and now I don't let things phase me, except if someone is deliberately getting in my face, however I have found that I am more at peace with myself and that all my friends and family also have noticed the change in me and THEY LUV IT.

annie

 

[lifesnotfair]

i have HUGE amounts of anger built up inside me, eventually it turns to sadness and deep depression..

Doesn't matter what i seem to do, nothing works

 

[sugaryberries]

I try not let things bother me. But, I live in dorm and a lot of things bother me, but I don't say anything about them, even though they affect me. Like the being extremely loud after quite hours. If I am up IO try to be considerate of everyone else but no one is considerate of me.

My dad and sister say things that hurt my feelings, but I never say anything to them to really hurt their feelings I just bottle it up.

 

[despise]

yes. i bottle up all my anger. i think there's only been one occassion out of 5 years my closest friends have ever seen me angry. and when i was done screaming at the person that enraged me, i walked away...and they followed...i sat down, they surrounded me and stared at me for a while... then they all cracked up. that was the first and only time they've seen me like that, and i think we were all in shock for a while.
i guess that moment encouraged me to hold my anger back even more. though i should have told myself to express it more as i'll end up exploding again. i took all my feelings out on myself in ways i wont discuss here. and after a long break of about 6 months, ive started up again. *sigh* ill get there. i did once...sortof.. 8O :?

 

[Amalie]

Speaking of anger, I just made a post about my anger towards the treatment of shy people lol. I find myself getting angry a lot. I guess it may be because I am a shy, docile person and rather than speak about my anger I keep it inside. In my case, I am also a very sensitive person. In my opinion, generally speaking, shy people are sensitive. I take injustices in this world to heart which in turn produces anger. Somehow I have this notion that all should be right in this world and when it isn't I get upset, and when I get upset I get angry. I think that we are a different breed of human (us shy people). Emotions run high as does anger. Often we are too polite to say what we really think and feel therefore we have pent up feelings. I always say "watch out world when I finally decide to speak my mind". :twisted: I guess this is one drawback to being shy...or is it? Imagine if everyone ran around screaming exactly what they felt at the top of their lungs!! Then for sure I would have to build my bubble world!!

 

[maggie]

Amalie, you said just what I feel !!... I always keep opinions to myself, even if I have valid advice or points. Always too shy or polite, or anxious to share my opinion, yet I always have pent up anger about injustice or because I am so frustrated :evil:

 

[Mathgan]

Anger etc.

Hi guy. Just know that you are normal - we all get happy and angry and ecstatic and pissed off and all of that. When we do that - we have an impact on the world - and others react to that according to their own senses. You may have triggered an anxiety in another - did you think of that? Just know that no-one ever does anything without their own (and in their mind) very good reasons.

Talk more any time.

With love

Mathgan

(p.s. anyone who knows the origin of my name wins an satsuma)

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I'm the same way. I've never physically hurt anyone on purpose, but I get extremely angry, and I usually keep quiet about it. But in some cases I have let people know that they've pissed me off by making comments(in some cases I find the courage to do this and in other cases I can't)...but most usually I do keep it inside, and sometimes when I'm alone and very angry, I scream to let out my anger.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hye littlemissscareall, that's me too. i can't not make the comments b/c i feel like if they don't know that i'm mad then they'll walk all over me or not care so i can't get away with not saying something...

 

[ColdFury]

I've got a whole lot of anger bottled up too. It leaks out sometimes..

 

[Drella]

yeah, I have anger problems, too. I get frustrated and upset really easily.

 

[nerdgirl178]

I never actually lost my temper. I would never even think of yelling at someone or even think of hurting someones feelings. I am actually a very calm person and I do not let things get to me. I guess in some ways I do bottle up things but I never necessarily been so angry that I want to tear someone eyes out.

 

[maggie]

i get really really frustrated at work....hold it in...usually bottle things up till i have to have a good cry..at home :roll:

 

[PhantomPod]

I find that I get really angry and upset easily too.

I'm bad with driving directions, and yesterday we were visiting my grandparents, and my dad was just poking fun a bit and was saying how I was bad with directions. But then he told of a time that I got lost and called him, and I felt myself getting really upset and I actually got tears in my eyes and had to look down to the floor.

I get super angry and upset in class too. If I'm taking a test and there's ridiculously hard questions on it, I get SO angry and start gripping my pen really hard, like ready to break it in half, or I'd crumble the corner of the paper in my fist, or I'd get real upset that I can't figure out this hard question and I look down at my paper and find tears coming to my eyes. It's unreal. I seem to have a real anger problem.

And one time in class I was all set on trying to raise my hand and read aloud infront of the class as a step to try and get over my shyness, and the teacher asked for volunteers, so I raised my hand, and she saw my hand raised and nodded for me to start reading. But then this really loud girl who reads aloud in class ALL the time just spoke up without raising her hand and was like, "I'll read!" and just started right in, and I actually got so angry that I was able to speak up for myself and was like, "actually I was already going too." But then that got me so flustered and I felt my face heating up and my voice started shaking really bad, so I just had to stop and called on someone else to read.
I was really upset about the incident though, because I had read ahead in the book and had read these 3 paragraphes ahead of time, and was all prepared to try and read them outloud, and then because I was so upset and flustered over this incident, I could barely finish the first paragraph I had planned on and had to let someone else read them.

Gosh, that all makes it seem like I have real anger management problems. I've never been in a fight or hit or hurt anyone though (besides for my brother! lol)

 

[redlady]

I have this anger - i am very sensitive to the idea of injustice. I resent it when people are not what they should be - decent and good. I hate it when i am put in a situation where i have to defend myself. I find it hard to do and i hate being victimised - i hate them and myself at the same time.