Anorexia to Help

[LemonKiss]

Please. Someone please help me. Being 17 is a rotten age. When I last left a message to you, I felt like I would be happy and positive FOREVER!! Now everything is cold and aching.

I'm not exactly asking for advice, I'd just like to share some things, have some people reply and then feel better.

I do not have anorexia. But I want to have it. I have read countless books on the subject, know of its horrible effects and yet it still seems so glamorus, so life-fixing. I am 5"4" and weigh 110 lb. I think if I was skinnier, everything would be ok. The thing is, when I don't eat, I get high and confident. I stop worrying and everything is at peace. Do you know how beautiful it is? 1, 2, 5 days. You get weak and it's very nice. Your confidence goes up. You can stop thinking about all the horribleness of your life. You can even hope that one night you won't wake up. Bones. Aren't they so pretty? Rib cages especially.

Who else shares this belief? The belief that having a more defined face and a body so small it could fit in a person's arms will make everything better?

This is not a cry for help or attention.
Ok. I lied. It is.

 

[redlady]

Have you spoken to anyone about this - parents, friends ?? Maybe you should think about going to see a counsellor - there is nothing glamorous about the disease and you need someone to show / convince you of that.
I sincerely hope that your desire does not translate into the real thing in the future - you should get help now before it does. Considering your level of desire to have it that is a real possibility.

 

[stardog]

Yeah well I hate being 17. When I was 15, 16 even just finishing high school I thought I would be 'fixed' by the time I started going to college. I figured it was just some 'phase' I was going through, I was wrong! And I have no idea how long Im going to be SA for now, maybe the rest of my life?? It feels like ive hit some kinda 'milestone' now, and SA is with me for the long haul.

Really hope you were joking about the anorexia thing...I know a girl who has been through that and it's the most horrible thing I have ever seen happen to someone. It's so sad. And it becomes like a cycle you can't ever really recover from. Remember, it's a mental ilness. Fucks with your brain

 

[chav]

please dont starve yourself, there is nothing glamorus about anorexia, b4 i took my first overdose i wasent eating well but i regret it so much now, everyone was talkin about me behind my back, and none of it was good, so plz take our advice!

 

[Tanya_S]

I can surely relate to what ur saying. I am 18 and i have gone through it.

Well i never really had anorexia nervosa as such, but then i was well on my way to having anorexia bulimia some months ago. I say that i was only on my towards it because my starvation period wasnt very long and i never used to force what i eat out of me.

I would starve myself and then binge (and i mean i will really eat a lot). When i starve i would feel good and think that people will like me. That never happened. I had the same few people who liked me and the same number of people who didnt give a damn. But, still i didn't stop and continued with it.

When i couldn't take the starvationa anymore i would binge, go terriblty out of control and then at the end of it feel terrible. I would get depressed and take laxatives pretending that i have digestion prblems when someone found out.

I did lose weight a little, but that was just on my face. People then started telling me that i was losing too much weight, which apart from my face i clearly was not. Contrary to anorexia nervosa, bulimia does not necessirily reduce weight. My mum realised that i am heading that way and at the same time i realised there's nothing good which will come off this. So, i made a concious effort to stop before it actually became serious.

It's been about 3-4 months since i last starved myself, however, i still binge eat during depression and sometime take laxatives. I am still trying to get over it, but then it's very difficult cos i still feel the need to starve and it takes a lot for me not to do that. But, i am happy with the progress i have made so far although judging by the current state of things for me, i may just be going down that road again.

Trust me, it's not as glamourful as all that when u start realising its ill-effects when u have it. Sure, u will feel great when u starve, lose a little weight, but that feelings so shortlived its just not worth it. Avoid going through this at all costs. It really is terrible. I never really even had it properly and it was still horrible. I can just imagine how bad it would be actually having it.