jh3art
Member
Does anyone know how this relates to anxiety? I find that when I fail in social situations, I find retribution by finding something new... a new social group, a different location.
Last night I was in a circle of friends smoking huka and I just felt like I couldn't pull myself together no matter what. I was overly apprehensive, fidgety, and sporatic in behavior. And this was a pretty chill group. They don't demand much out of me, but I feel like I have to live up to standards that I don't know. (standards that I've accomplished in the past). I also feel like if just one variable in the situation changed, I would've been able to relex and be natural, because I CAN be a quite sociable guy alot of the time.
I find myself judging myself constantly and trying to fix everything so that things go perfect, but the difficult part is that I CAN'T STOP MYSELF when I'm doing it. I tell myself to relax, but then I lost further sight of the situation. The result is that I self destructed and told myself "I have to get out of here. NOW." I just want to be normal, you know? Insofar that Im not awkward. In principle I don't mind being unique, but Im losing sight of the fine line that seperates the the word with awkward.
The result is that I fail, and look for greener pastures, new places, new things. My anxiety makes people dislike being around me, so I find something else, something new...
Forgot to mention, I have symtoms of being avoidant personality disorder...
Last night I was in a circle of friends smoking huka and I just felt like I couldn't pull myself together no matter what. I was overly apprehensive, fidgety, and sporatic in behavior. And this was a pretty chill group. They don't demand much out of me, but I feel like I have to live up to standards that I don't know. (standards that I've accomplished in the past). I also feel like if just one variable in the situation changed, I would've been able to relex and be natural, because I CAN be a quite sociable guy alot of the time.
I find myself judging myself constantly and trying to fix everything so that things go perfect, but the difficult part is that I CAN'T STOP MYSELF when I'm doing it. I tell myself to relax, but then I lost further sight of the situation. The result is that I self destructed and told myself "I have to get out of here. NOW." I just want to be normal, you know? Insofar that Im not awkward. In principle I don't mind being unique, but Im losing sight of the fine line that seperates the the word with awkward.
The result is that I fail, and look for greener pastures, new places, new things. My anxiety makes people dislike being around me, so I find something else, something new...
Forgot to mention, I have symtoms of being avoidant personality disorder...
