Anxious around girls (breasts)

[Lavinialuna]

This is a totally different situation, Lavinialuna. This isn't a situation where breasts are being seen as sexual objects. This is about the anxiety that some feel when it comes to looking inappropriately. We don't want to do it however, the thought that we shouldn't gets stuck in our heads so that not looking inappropriately is all that we think about. This, of course, causes problems of trying (and failing) to act normal. Attractiveness has nothing to do with it.

You misunderstand as I didn't think that the poster was having sexual fantasies about breasts, but that the sexualization of breasts in society may have fueled the poster's anxieties, understand what I mean? And what women need from the general public is support, especially if they are breastfeeding.

Lavinialuna, with all due respect I think you should read the original poster's post. This is is an anxiety, a fear of looking, at a range of triggers out of fear of being embarassed . The poster would rather do anything than look, they'd not want to talk to you at all, they'd look away while you were breast feeding. Perhaps you might respect their right to be uncomfortable.

This thread is not about gawking at someone while they are breastfeeding.

I hope you can make peace with your own anxieties, they are of course as real and as debilitating as Baggies.

I never suggested the poster would gawk, actually in my mind I imagined him turning away in repulsion. I earnestly hope the poster never lets his own issues shame any women simply for having breasts. Beyond that, I hope he can conquer his anxiety.
As for you turning the conversation around to make me look insecure because I had a voice on the topic- classic intimidation tactic. That was rude and unacceptable. You are not allowed to speculate whether I do or do not have issues regarding my breasts. Other than saying that I was a breastfeeder and that breastfeeding takes courage- you know nothing about me or how I feel about my breasts. I could take what you wrote and turn it around on you and speculate what your problems are with women but I won't do that BECAUSE I AM A NICE PERSON and your issues aren't being discussed here (and neither are mine, got it?)
I have tried to be nothing but supportive to people on this board, I think I have proven myself to you all over time and I deserve the benefit of the doubt. It is very hard to get a general idea across solely in text. You should have asked me to clarify my position if you thought I was off base- instead of pouncing in a passive aggressive way.

 

[Kiwong]

He's not going to intentionally shame anyone or be disrespectful, or turn away in repulsion, they are your concerns, your thoughts, your imagination.

You raised concerns about women being gawked at whilst breastfeeding as an issue, and it is being discussed. Perhaps you could post a thread about women and their need for support while breastfeeding? The OP has a wife and three children perhaps he would like to respond to your suggestion that you hoped he wouldn't be disrespectful to a woman breastfeeding. Maybe he has some experience in supporting women breastfeeding, I'm sure he supported his wife?

The OP would be mortified to upset anyone. His fears and anxiety are as real as any of yours, and suggestions that he might for a moment even consider being unkind or disrespectful, or that his anxieties require Freudian analysis are not helpful in my view.

 

[Baggies99]

Ironically, my wife is currently breast feeding, and doing it in public. She does it modestly by throwing a towel over her shoulder. She finds this very easy, and discrete. But like others said, it has nothing to do with breast feeding.

 

[Odo]

Is a fetish not turning a body part (often that is not sexual) into something sexual. Like feet or ears. To be honest the issue is wider than breasts. They are just the main trigger. I am more of a bum guy tbh. I have no particular strong desire either way on it. I mean I do find them attractive. I am a normal guy that way. Mind are just weird. I do care too much what people think of me. Maybe that is another root issue. Maybe I put an unhealthy wait on what people think of me therefore, I respond more irrationally. Frustrating

A fetish can apply to anything that isn't directly connected with intercourse-- it's about being turned on by 'parts' more than the whole package. Breasts are primarily for nursing babies, not for having sex... the emphasis on breasts as sexual is part of the general objectification of the female form. I'm not saying you're a freak or anything.

It's interesting that you don't have the same issue with being caught looking at bums, though...

 

[Kiwong]

A I'm not saying you're a freak or anything.

As no one would say about you and your anxieties, Odo, whatever they might be.

 

[Baggies99]

A fetish can apply to anything that isn't directly connected with intercourse-- it's about being turned on by 'parts' more than the whole package. Breasts are primarily for nursing babies, not for having sex... the emphasis on breasts as sexual is part of the general objectification of the female form. I'm not saying you're a freak or anything.

It's interesting that you don't have the same issue with being caught looking at bums, though...

Well odo you pretty much defined every male to have a breast fetish. So by ur definition i do have a fetish, but I don't have an issue with this. Am I turned on by breasts? Yes! But not when I am having the problem. In fact the lady could be fully naked and I would not be turned on.

I am not sure of your definition of sexual attraction. If you think it is solely reserved for the penis and ******, that would be strange. Let's face it media co companies know that sex sells, and the use every aspect they can to promote this. Legs are primarily for walking, but they can also be attractive. Males find many aspects of females attractive. Hair, lips, etc. In fact females find many aspects of males attractive. These are often sexual without havering sex with them.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Mr Baggies, the way you describe this does make it sound like it might be an OCD-type thing. I'm no shrink, mind. I've just seen a lot of people post about OCD relating to sex and religion. Have you researched OCD, or do you know if you've ever shown such tendencies?

 

[Bronson99]

A fetish can apply to anything that isn't directly connected with intercourse-- it's about being turned on by 'parts' more than the whole package. Breasts are primarily for nursing babies, not for having sex... the emphasis on breasts as sexual is part of the general objectification of the female form. I'm not saying you're a freak or anything.

Objectification does not make something a fetish.

What about an attractive female face, for example. Not connected with intercourse. But if virtually all men feel some level of stimulation when they see an attractive face, then is that also a fetish?

My point is that you're just wrong on this, my friend, or you're stuck on using dictionary definitions very literally.

 

[Odo]

I'm not going to say anything else here because I'm pretty sure people are taking it the wrong way and I don't want to get into an argument.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure that it is a thing:

Breast fetishism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And if you don't agree, that's fine too.

 

[Baggies99]

I'm not going to say anything else here because I'm pretty sure people are taking it the wrong way and I don't want to get into an argument.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure that it is a thing:

Breast fetishism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

And if you don't agree, that's fine too.

Odo, the link you provided was interesting, it highlights a theory, which applies to whole cultures. Pretty sure this is not me. What I need is not theories, I need either people who have come through this or guidance towards solutions. I afraid changing society is not in my power.

 

[Baggies99]

Mr Baggies, the way you describe this does make it sound like it might be an OCD-type thing. I'm no shrink, mind. I've just seen a lot of people post about OCD relating to sex and religion. Have you researched OCD, or do you know if you've ever shown such tendencies?

There does seem to be an OCD like link. I don't really have major OCD tendencies. We all have degrees of OCD. There is also comparisons to phobias. Eg a person with a spider in the room and phobia of it, would, experience similar anxiety, inability to concentrate and always concentrating on it.