Any "old" social phobics?
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GettingThere
Well-known member
29 ain't old.
Break out the carbon dating gear. I'm 45 not out.
It does get easier. As you get older your inhibitions tend to fade and SP (in my case at least) becomes much less of a problem, like comparing a broken arm to a bruised one.
Break out the carbon dating gear. I'm 45 not out.
It does get easier. As you get older your inhibitions tend to fade and SP (in my case at least) becomes much less of a problem, like comparing a broken arm to a bruised one.
koyaanisqatsi
Well-known member
29 yo is not old. You are a mere child. I'm 54 yo, have suffered from SPia all my life ( I remember back to 4 yo or less ) and depression. Some people say SPia tends to get worse as they get older. My theory is that the disease is not necessarily progressive with age, but rather a person's responsibilities in life increase with age forcing them to interact with people more.
Hope
Well-known member
McShy said:
I agree! I've passed the big 5-0, but don't feel old (most days :wink: ). Staying active and fit ensures that.
Anyway, with age comes the luxury of not giving as much of a shit what people think.
I've never heard of 'cured' social phobic, but, then again, haven't personally known many. I think as we age we adjust our activities and the people we befriend with more attention to our needs (as opposed to constantly trying to please people).
marc72
Well-known member
me
well I am 33 yrs old male. I am glad you brought up this post on age because I was curious to know if anyone here is older or slightly younger than me. I guess I now know. i think we all are fortunate to live in this society that has lots of resources on anxiety , phobia, issues as well as depression. Also with the internet , we can link to one another.
well I am 33 yrs old male. I am glad you brought up this post on age because I was curious to know if anyone here is older or slightly younger than me. I guess I now know. i think we all are fortunate to live in this society that has lots of resources on anxiety , phobia, issues as well as depression. Also with the internet , we can link to one another.
Nightshade
Well-known member
I'm 33. I often feel old, but since most of my friends are older than me, they tell me that I'm not.
I am old to have never had a boyfriend though, and that is one of the reasons I feel so old - it isn't my biological age, it is the things I have and haven't done. It feels like I've left it a bit late to start now, but you never know. I don't have a lot of hope, but I have some, and that is enough to keep me going (I have often thought "If I haven't sorted this by X age I'm going to give up" (one way or another), but I keep passing the deadlines and just then thinking - "maybe next year will be different" - I have never lost hope completely I guess).
On the subject of maturity... hanging from the rearview mirror of my car is a brightly coloured toy for ages "6 months and up". I bought it from a baby shop a couple of years ago, for myself. You're only young once they say, but you can be immature forever!
I am old to have never had a boyfriend though, and that is one of the reasons I feel so old - it isn't my biological age, it is the things I have and haven't done. It feels like I've left it a bit late to start now, but you never know. I don't have a lot of hope, but I have some, and that is enough to keep me going (I have often thought "If I haven't sorted this by X age I'm going to give up" (one way or another), but I keep passing the deadlines and just then thinking - "maybe next year will be different" - I have never lost hope completely I guess).
On the subject of maturity... hanging from the rearview mirror of my car is a brightly coloured toy for ages "6 months and up". I bought it from a baby shop a couple of years ago, for myself. You're only young once they say, but you can be immature forever!
clairet
Well-known member
I'm 30 now and still have SA but things have got better in the last couple of years. I learned to drive only a couple of years ago (and it took me a couple of years to learn too) because of a lack of confidence in myself but am really glad that I did it in the end (passed - third time lucky!) I sometimes see my personal development as stunted by around ten years- I'm doing things now too that loads of people probably would have done years ago. Still not mananging to hold down a full time job - which I see to be my greatest challenge and key to independence...
Ensamniak
Member
30 years old here and had anxiety for as long as I can remember, just never knew what it was.
I have had several good relationships, decent jobs, and a nice car. Still though, I was far behind in life considering my high "potential" (what a dirty word lol) But after my girlfriend of 5 years left me suddenly, I have lost everything in a downward spiral of depression that has plagued me for over 3 years now. I've had to put that all behind me though, and start all over again.
I have had several good relationships, decent jobs, and a nice car. Still though, I was far behind in life considering my high "potential" (what a dirty word lol) But after my girlfriend of 5 years left me suddenly, I have lost everything in a downward spiral of depression that has plagued me for over 3 years now. I've had to put that all behind me though, and start all over again.
marc72
Well-known member
i am glad...
You nailed it when you said "high potential" Most of us OR all of us wish that we could have had the good job or a relationship. I am glad you bought that up. I know I can do better than my crappy job but i am fighting it . Never give up the fight. I am glad you are in the process of starting over and fighting your depression.
You nailed it when you said "high potential" Most of us OR all of us wish that we could have had the good job or a relationship. I am glad you bought that up. I know I can do better than my crappy job but i am fighting it . Never give up the fight. I am glad you are in the process of starting over and fighting your depression.
shep
Well-known member
I'm 61 and retired and retirement helps sooo much. Over the years I have become a bit distant from most former friends and even some family. I am able to function ok but I'm still uneasy at social gatherings. I have managed to avoid meds but I know they are a godsend for some who, otherwise, would be extremely limited in what they can do. Anyway, time flies and after the rough road that all sp people endure to some degree, it should be a comfort of sorts to keep in mind that retirement will probably help. :wink:
clairet
Well-known member
shep said:
Don't think I can wait that long Shep!! Another thirty years or so until I retire mate, and the way pension schemes are going I'll probably have to work until I drop! Hopefully, I'll make some "social" progress along the way so that my only hope in life isn't just to retire
I wanna win the lottery, ah pooh, keep forgettin, gotta buy a ticket first!
I always thought I would be dealing with SA until I 'grew up' and got a job and basically became independent. I thought I would be forced to be 'courageous' and that my SA symptons would fade but at the age of 21, I am still suffering. The only good thing about getting older is that you get wiser. I know how to handle myself more and how to handle my SA. The thing with SA is that when you have a severe episode, or rather, when you are confronted with a very intense situation you feel as helpless/lost/scared as you would feel if you were 13 or 16 years old again. At least that has been my case...
shep
Well-known member
Yes Clairet, you will surely make social progress before retirement and perhaps even beat this thing. However, for some of us, the struggle continues but retirement lifts a lot of weight off shoulders for the ones still dealing with it. For younger workers, retirement does look far off and the benefits of today may not be as good tomorrow. Anyway, I hope you will see the day when you are able to retire at a reasonable retirement age and be assured of housing, medical care, and an adequate income for food, etc.