I'm 15 and I was pretty normal when I was 11 or 12-ish. I had more anxiety than anyone I knew in my school but I was still basically like everyone else. Then it's time to leave the school I was at for seven years, to a bigger one. I couldn't take the school, the teachers, or the people, I lost both of my friends, went to a different school that was easier but I still hated it. Then I started independant study which is basically like homeschooling. I was totally isolated, which my dad hated and constantly made comment on. I suffered for about a year before I couldn't take it anymore and told my mom. Then my sister got cancer and we all had a huge ordeal to face. I got on Paxil and it didn't work. Then I was on Lexapro and that worked ok and now I just switched to Prozak to see if that works better. I have had two shrinks so far and I hated them both but they're aren't many shrinks around my area that take anyone under 18. Sometimes I feel good about where I am and then sometimes I feel like I have gotten nowhere and that I have so much to do and because I am not out with the rest of my peers in school or anything else that I will feel completely out of place when I can get into the world. I was talking to an old friend of mine the other day, he couldn't believe when I told him that I have never done anything with a guy before. Then he said find an older guy.. but that means he will expect more of me sexually. But the first guy I will date will be the first guy that I have been around, hugged, touched, kissed, or anything with and I need to take it slow. I feel like everyone around me will think there is something wrong with me because I haven't done what they have. They will make me feel stupid and naive and childish and I can't stand that. I hate not knowing what to expect when I get older. But all I know is that I am not going to let my SP control me. I will do what I can to feel that best I can and do the best I can. I will not let this make me into what everyone may think I am.