Anybody like me?

[esp]

This is really hard for me, I even have a fear of posting. But here goes, I'm 29 and I'm wondering if anyone has social phobia as bad as me, because I still live at home, I've never had a real job (i've only studied by correspondence), I never go out alone, I can't use the phone, I have no friends, I've never had a boyfriend. The list goes on. But recently I had a nervous breakdown and now I'm getting help, I'm on antidepressants, getting cognitive-behavioural therapy with a psychologist. My problem started at school with friends rejecting me, and being teased for being shy (they called me the silent one). I'm scared to post this but I'm gonna try anyway.

 

[Dedication]

Hi, ESP...welcome to the forum . It sounds like you might have agoraphobia as well as social phobia (admittedly I'm no expert but I think the two sometimes go hand-in-hand). But you're moving in the right direction with CBT and meds and hopefully these are helping (I just started CBT myself).

Just remember that you're not alone. Most people on this forum have SP and variations thereof and can offer excellent knowledge and advice and support .

 

[Crimefish]

I have had social phobia, agoraphobia and generalised anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember. I'm 17 and I started CBT (without meds; I'm too young) a few sessions ago.
I never leave the house without my "safe person" (mum) so I've only had one-ish offline boyfriend.

 

[unleashed]

i hope youre feeling better soon.

 

[esp]

Thanks for replying! I thought noone would reply to my post, but that's social phobia for you! Its nice to know there are other people out there with the same problem.

 

[GettingThere]

Hello and welcome esp.
I hope that the medication does the trick for you. It has certainly helped me at different times in my life.

 

[JWH]

In a way I am, and I fear I may not leave home till I'm too old. I'm 22, and I'm only just starting to get my act together. What really helps is giving yourself gradual exposure to situations and doing activities which may push you but leave you feeling positive.

 

[MadCat]

Hello ESP. I can relate to some of the things you have mentioned. You're definately not alone.

I haven't even left the house for years. I haven't had a friend for over 11 years.

All I got is my family. How is the cognitive behavior therapy working for you? That will probably be the treatment that I will get.

 

[esp]

hi there, the cognitive-behavioural therapy is progressing. I've been going for two months. It really helped pull me out of the worst time of my life. I thought I was bad off until I had a nervous breakdown. I've finally realised that I blamed myself and my experiences for this condition for so long, when I didn't have to, because it was the anxiety disorder that causes you to think and react so negatively. You've really got to give yourself a chance and realise, hey, I don't deserve to be shut away like this. Going on exposure therapy is pretty stressful but I'm not going back to the way I was that caused a nervous breakdown. Just my thoughts on the matter.

 

[MadCat]

Sounds like you're slowly progressing to your goals too as well?

It really makes me feel there is hope for myself reading your response. My psychiatric nurse wanted to get me going on exposure therapy TOMORROW. LOL. I've only been aware there was something seriously wrong with me for about a month now.

I can't wait to get started on CBT soon..hopefully!

ONe day I hope I can reach to the point you are at. It's very promising for me to think that way.

Thanks alot for lifting my mood.

 

[esp]

I'm glad my thoughts helped you! I've certainly been through hell to reach this point, although I bet there are people even worse off than me. I think before you start exposure or at the same time you have to look at the thoughts you are having that are causing the anxiety. Boy this is hard, this is the first time I've really used a forum and I'm always worried if I said the right thing.

 

[soarer]

Hi ESP,

It sounds like you are doing the right thing in getting behavioral therapy. I live in Canada so it if I was to get behavioral therapy I would have to pay for it (around $100.00-150.00 per session). Hopefully in a few months I will be in a better position to do this. I'm curious as to what medication you are on? I have been on 10mg of paxil for a number of years along with xanax and they definitely make it easier for me to go out. BTW do you have a email address?

 

[jourjaune]

esp, I am exactly like you! I had to drop out of highschool at the end of 10th grade and now I just sit home because I'm afraid to go outside. When I do, I annoy my family so bad because the whole time I think I'm being stared at and judged and I end up ruining their time so mostly I stay home. And I'm almost 17 and already I feel like my life is over. In school everyone called me silent one too. Also mouse girl, quiet girl, mute, and not a day went by when I heard "Why don't you ever taaaaalk?" I don't know how to make this any better for you, but at least you know your not alone

 

[esp]

to jourjaune, wow I can't believe someone else was called the silent one! From year 10 to year 12 I was called that by these stupid guys on the bus to school and at school as well. And people would come up to me too and say why don't you have any friends? As if it wasn't hard enough having fights with your friends and ending up alone. I was already a shy person but all of that made me really afraid of people. Thanks for writing and I don't think your life is ending, I think its just beginning!

 

[esp]

to soarer - in answer to your question, I am on Lexapro, it is used for generalised anxiety and depression and helped me alot. I don't know if its used specifically for social phobia though. But I was having trouble sleeping, eating and just couldn't relax and it really helped. I was lucky to find something that helped me straight away. I was also lucky because I got referred by my doctor to community health so my psychologist is free. I don't know if you can do that in Canada.