Being shy, even online.

[hidwell]

I'm not shy I'm just verbally challenged.

 

[Eristelle]

I'm not shy I'm just verbally challenged.

I'm verbally, socially, emotionally, and mentally challenged. D:

 

[hidwell]

I'm verbally, socially, emotionally, and mentally challenged. D:

But what are your good points, there is no point hiding your light under a bushel.

 

[MikeyC]

As people can tell, I'm not shy online, for better or worse. Life is much easier online.

 

[Gaucho]

yep, happens to me some times.

 

[megalon]

I can totally relate to this, about forums, chat rooms and multiplayer gaming. It doesn't matter how anonymous I am.

 

[Golden Beam]

Yeah when I first started out in chat rooms I usually wasn't very good. Either no one wanted to talk about what I wanted to, or I couldn't keep up with 8 different people asking me 8 different questions at the same time.

 

[O'Killian]

I think I blame everything on myself.

That's what SA does I guess, it makes us feel like everything is our fault even when its not.

My knee-jerk reaction to this was that it doesn't have to be that way. I feel like the odd duck out whenever folks start talking about depression and low self-esteem and the like because I've never dealt with those things. I do my damnedest to be realistic about everything.

But then I realized that - in social interactions, at least - I do tend to fall back to 'I did something wrong' as the first hypothesis. Feelings are strong things, but I usually refuse to dwell on this or internalize it - more often than not, it was nobody's fault, and sometimes it was the other person's.

'Course I'm sure we all already know that, so it's not much help.

-

And in response to Golden Beam, hah, that's me in any situation with a bunch of people (online or off). One could say I'm a hard thinker, not a fast thinker, and generally I'm either able to follow several people talking or contribute - if I try to do both I'll just get lost.

 

[Sartana]

It's interesting that so many people feel that way. Even when I had SA and depression I always acted on the internet in the way I wished I could do in real life. My mind has always been quite quick I think but poor delivery and bad communication just let me down. Over the last two years I've luckily gotten to the point where I'm more or less exactly the same in person as I am online (in most situations anyway).

 

[Eristelle]

I have the lowest self esteem. I think even dirt is worth more than me.
Sometimes I can't even look at myself when I'm doing simple things in the mirror, like brushing my teeth.

I guess most of my anxiety comes from my overall appearance and my mannerisms. Online, it's just my boring personality. Sigh. I need a new brain.

 

[Iluv]

I only started 1 thread because I get anxiety thinking about how nobody will contribute or a fight will break out and it'll get closed etcetc.
But on the other hand I like to contribute to them and show my support and share my stories. I can be really shy sometimes that when it comes to conversations online I get scared and might sound stupid. But that's just my shyness coming across.

 

[MikeyC]

I have the lowest self esteem. I think even dirt is worth more than me.

No way.

I only started 1 thread because I get anxiety thinking about how nobody will contribute or a fight will break out and it'll get closed etcetc.
But on the other hand I like to contribute to them and show my support and share my stories. I can be really shy sometimes that when it comes to conversations online I get scared and might sound stupid. But that's just my shyness coming across.

Heh, I'm the same. I've wanted to start 2 threads recently and I'm too anxious about it, but I can easily contribute to others.

 

[HenryWS]

I'm new here, and this was the first post that caught my eye. I can definitely relate to this. For me it's especially bad when it comes to talking with girls online, or people I don't know very well. (and in person for that matter). I am always fearful that if I start a conversation, there's a pretty big chance that I won't find anything to say, and when that happens I have a habit of trying too hard and making a fool out of myself.

Sometimes I'll send a message online to a girl I like, then afrerwards I'll have to get out of the room, run away, it literally drives me manic sometimes with anxiety awaiting to see how what I said willl be recieved.

 

[dallasthekid]

i feel like this all the time, i feel like people are judging me when i even talk online, you are not alone. i was surprised to find a post about this. if you wanna talk , i will not judge you at all i hope this gets better for you

 

[Eristelle]

If I message someone I find interesting, I instantly reread what I just sent and find so many errors it's ridiculous. You know, starting threads are intimidating. Then you grow bored of the ones you post in and figure out making your own thread is in tune with what you really wish to discuss with people. I guess I feel like all eyes are on the OP and their discussion. Sometimes no one replies, and that bothers me too. Then I strike gold with another thread. I guess it depends.

Thanks for your support.~

 

[O'Killian]

I'll have to get out of the room, run away

Heh, you mentioning that makes me realize I do something similar sometimes. If I'm writing a long post or in the middle of a serious chatroom conversation, occasionally I pop up and do a lap or two around the house. My thoughts can get pretty scattered and this usually helps a lot. I'm rarely anywhere near driven manic, but that's probably because I'm way too good at avoidance.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I only started 1 thread because I get anxiety thinking about how nobody will contribute or a fight will break out and it'll get closed etcetc.
But on the other hand I like to contribute to them and show my support and share my stories. I can be really shy sometimes that when it comes to conversations online I get scared and might sound stupid. But that's just my shyness coming across.

I am the same way. I have been wanting to start more threads but I just can't. I feel better responding to other threads, but even then, I will type my reply but will just delete it instead of posting it. When I first joined this group I tried my best not to do that, and saw posting here as a way of "participating." But even online I can have trouble with that...now, imagine in real life.

(I am trying to come back here and post more...not sure if that will help? Maybe I need to concentrate my efforts in participating in "real life.")

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I have the lowest self esteem. I think even dirt is worth more than me.
Sometimes I can't even look at myself when I'm doing simple things in the mirror, like brushing my teeth.

I guess most of my anxiety comes from my overall appearance and my mannerisms. Online, it's just my boring personality. Sigh. I need a new brain.

I understand. I feel the same way. I find it hard to relate to people, and then I have all this preoccupation with the way I look/the way I sound/the way I come across. It causes a lot of anxiety. I need a new brain too...a new way of thinking.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I don't struggle to find words so much as I struggle not to inundate people with words. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but I tend to make blocks of text as my mind wanders from point to point (sometimes these points are even related!) I've cut a lot of posts way down from their original formats, and even more I just give up on.

Me too. I write too much, and I know most people won't bother reading all that. I try to write shorter responses, but then I feel they are too short. I will more often start writing a response that becomes too long and I will decide it is just easier to delete it.

One could say I'm a hard thinker, not a fast thinker, and generally I'm either able to follow several people talking or contribute - if I try to do both I'll just get lost.

Perhaps that is my problem. I struggle to keep up!

 

[O'Killian]

(I am trying to come back here and post more...not sure if that will help? Maybe I need to concentrate my efforts in participating in "real life.")

My working theory is that if one is uncomfortable online and works to come to terms with that, it can only be a net positive. It won't magically make real life any easier, but if nothing else you'll know anxiety is unassailable and might even have a support group to fall back on when things get rough.

It's also nice to know I'm not the only one who winds up putting forth a lot of effort into a post only to wind up scrapping the whole thing, heh.