Biff
Member
Part3
Well, I apologize for the long story in part 2, but it does have significance. I should also tell you now that these techniques are not mine, but I have seen them work miracles. Some sceptics will say that it’s too simplistic and that they’ve tried similar things before. Ok, you’re entitled to your opinion. For everyone else, lets press on.
I should also mention here that this is not a substitution for psychiatric therapy or medical advice. The following techniques are simply a different, and possibly more practical way, of looking at things. The keyword here is DIFFERENT. And before someone mentions it: no, I’m not downplaying the seriousness of your illness. I don’t think I have all the answers. I don’t know how useful this will be. Mainly, though, I am not naïve enough to think that I can solve a serious mental illness with these techniques. I just think that if you open your mind to other possibilities, that you may get some value from it. At this point anything is better than nothing at all.
What is the most important thing in your life? What means the most to you? Love? Money? A great job? A good education? Will you be able to fully realize any of these goals while you are suffering from SA? Not too likely. So is it safe to say that curing your SA is the most important thing in the world? I’ll let you decide. The reason I even mention this is that to accomplish anything worthwhile you need desire. If you consider beating SA the most important thing in your life, than that is all the desire you need. Desire fuels decision. Decision results in action. Action is sustained by a strong enough desire.
I know you are all sick and tired of being told what to do. Being told what to do is often not enough. That’s where the advice in the following posts will be different. I am not just going to tell you what to do, but I’m going to tell you HOW to do it.
Ok, so the first thing you need to decide on is where you want to be. Without a goal, it’s difficult to tell which way to go and when you’ve arrived. This will be different for everyone. Think about this carefully. Going back to the ski-hill analogy, not everyone will want to bother with the expert runs. Some may be satisfied with mastering the intermediate or even the beginner runs.
Now, consider this. You live your life according to beliefs you have programmed into your mind. Past experiences, positive and negative, are a big part of what make up your beliefs. Your brain operates consciously and unconsciously according to these beliefs. Your brain/body has an automatic protection system, which is continuously functioning, on a conscience and subconscious level. Most of the time you don’t even realize it. Self-preservation is the name of the game here. If your brain associates pain with something, your built in flight or fight mechanism clicks on. It is protecting you from pain just as it would protect you from a physical threat.
Here’s an example. You have to give a speech. You are programmed with the belief that you are a loser, that no one likes you and that they are all waiting to judge you and laugh at you. You approach the front of the room, you are shaking, your throat constricts, and your face is bright red. Your brain believes that you are a loser and that everyone is just waiting for you to make a fool of yourself so they can get a good laugh. Deep down, these are your core beliefs. Armed with this information your brain associates and anticipates much pain and humiliation. The flight or fight response kicks in and the obvious physical signs are present-i.e. blushing, trembling, shaky voice. This causes more distress and humiliation and thereby, more flight or fight symptoms. This is the run away effect.
There are many techniques out there that rely on reprogramming your brain. Repeating positive statements so that eventually they are absorbed into your sub-conscience mind. The problem with this is that your brain knows the difference between fact and fiction. You can tell yourself something all day long and unless your brain truly believes it on both a conscience and sub-conscience level, then you are wasting your time. This rarely works for this reason.
The only way you will truly change your beliefs is by receiving real world feedback. Your brain knows this is the real stuff and will adjust its beliefs accordingly. But, what happens if it receives negative feedback? Well, what cures you can kill you also. By placing yourself in a very high exposure environment-like a party, or giving a speech, you are setting yourself up for disaster since the possibility of receiving negative feedback is great. What’s the solution then? Well, think back to the ski-hill from part 2. By dividing the hill into very manageable sections, Cam was able to conquer one and then take that experience and move on to something slightly more difficult. Attending a party might be like snowboarding off an expert run with no experience, for a socially phobic person.
Well, I apologize for the long story in part 2, but it does have significance. I should also tell you now that these techniques are not mine, but I have seen them work miracles. Some sceptics will say that it’s too simplistic and that they’ve tried similar things before. Ok, you’re entitled to your opinion. For everyone else, lets press on.
I should also mention here that this is not a substitution for psychiatric therapy or medical advice. The following techniques are simply a different, and possibly more practical way, of looking at things. The keyword here is DIFFERENT. And before someone mentions it: no, I’m not downplaying the seriousness of your illness. I don’t think I have all the answers. I don’t know how useful this will be. Mainly, though, I am not naïve enough to think that I can solve a serious mental illness with these techniques. I just think that if you open your mind to other possibilities, that you may get some value from it. At this point anything is better than nothing at all.
What is the most important thing in your life? What means the most to you? Love? Money? A great job? A good education? Will you be able to fully realize any of these goals while you are suffering from SA? Not too likely. So is it safe to say that curing your SA is the most important thing in the world? I’ll let you decide. The reason I even mention this is that to accomplish anything worthwhile you need desire. If you consider beating SA the most important thing in your life, than that is all the desire you need. Desire fuels decision. Decision results in action. Action is sustained by a strong enough desire.
I know you are all sick and tired of being told what to do. Being told what to do is often not enough. That’s where the advice in the following posts will be different. I am not just going to tell you what to do, but I’m going to tell you HOW to do it.
Ok, so the first thing you need to decide on is where you want to be. Without a goal, it’s difficult to tell which way to go and when you’ve arrived. This will be different for everyone. Think about this carefully. Going back to the ski-hill analogy, not everyone will want to bother with the expert runs. Some may be satisfied with mastering the intermediate or even the beginner runs.
Now, consider this. You live your life according to beliefs you have programmed into your mind. Past experiences, positive and negative, are a big part of what make up your beliefs. Your brain operates consciously and unconsciously according to these beliefs. Your brain/body has an automatic protection system, which is continuously functioning, on a conscience and subconscious level. Most of the time you don’t even realize it. Self-preservation is the name of the game here. If your brain associates pain with something, your built in flight or fight mechanism clicks on. It is protecting you from pain just as it would protect you from a physical threat.
Here’s an example. You have to give a speech. You are programmed with the belief that you are a loser, that no one likes you and that they are all waiting to judge you and laugh at you. You approach the front of the room, you are shaking, your throat constricts, and your face is bright red. Your brain believes that you are a loser and that everyone is just waiting for you to make a fool of yourself so they can get a good laugh. Deep down, these are your core beliefs. Armed with this information your brain associates and anticipates much pain and humiliation. The flight or fight response kicks in and the obvious physical signs are present-i.e. blushing, trembling, shaky voice. This causes more distress and humiliation and thereby, more flight or fight symptoms. This is the run away effect.
There are many techniques out there that rely on reprogramming your brain. Repeating positive statements so that eventually they are absorbed into your sub-conscience mind. The problem with this is that your brain knows the difference between fact and fiction. You can tell yourself something all day long and unless your brain truly believes it on both a conscience and sub-conscience level, then you are wasting your time. This rarely works for this reason.
The only way you will truly change your beliefs is by receiving real world feedback. Your brain knows this is the real stuff and will adjust its beliefs accordingly. But, what happens if it receives negative feedback? Well, what cures you can kill you also. By placing yourself in a very high exposure environment-like a party, or giving a speech, you are setting yourself up for disaster since the possibility of receiving negative feedback is great. What’s the solution then? Well, think back to the ski-hill from part 2. By dividing the hill into very manageable sections, Cam was able to conquer one and then take that experience and move on to something slightly more difficult. Attending a party might be like snowboarding off an expert run with no experience, for a socially phobic person.
