Tim001
Well-known member
As a person with moderate to severe social anxiety, I generally find it very difficult to interact with others in a so-called “normal” way. For example, greeting people with a handshake, hug, a smile or any other friendly greeting. I am sure I am misunderstood by many, and I likely come across as indifferent, stand-offish, or even hostile.
Family gatherings are good examples of this. I seem to be the last person who people greet with a hug or kiss (if at all) and also the last. I have been this way as long as I can remember. The funny thing is that I quite often wish I had the ability to really connect with others. Strangely enough, even though I suffer from SA, I still regret never being able to really click with people.
The feedback I get from people is generally one of caution (co-workers mainly) and if I am lucky I may be greeted with a hello and a phony smile. Generally, I am ignored and avoided. And this only serves to increase my sense of hopelessness and allows SA to gain a tighter hold of me. It is more then I can bear sometimes. Really depressing….
Spending a lot of time alone gives me time to think. (One of the advantages of SA!). Basically, I have come to the conclusion that this is a very negative cycle and can’t be broken easily. People (non SA’s and SA’s alike) generally warm up to a friendly person rather than a more reserved one. It’s human nature.
When I am in a particularly good mood (not often), I put this theory to the test and try to smile and engage people in small talk. Generally, I try to be more friendly. Amazingly, I almost always get positive responses from people. I guess you get back what you put out but after years of living with this condition, it is very hard to consistently come across as a friendly, positive person. My self-esteem is shot and most times I resent the world and the people in it. Not a very friendly way to present yourself. Still, I do have days when I almost feel like I could get a lot closer to people and perhaps start feeling “normal”, whatever that is.
Tim
Family gatherings are good examples of this. I seem to be the last person who people greet with a hug or kiss (if at all) and also the last. I have been this way as long as I can remember. The funny thing is that I quite often wish I had the ability to really connect with others. Strangely enough, even though I suffer from SA, I still regret never being able to really click with people.
The feedback I get from people is generally one of caution (co-workers mainly) and if I am lucky I may be greeted with a hello and a phony smile. Generally, I am ignored and avoided. And this only serves to increase my sense of hopelessness and allows SA to gain a tighter hold of me. It is more then I can bear sometimes. Really depressing….
Spending a lot of time alone gives me time to think. (One of the advantages of SA!). Basically, I have come to the conclusion that this is a very negative cycle and can’t be broken easily. People (non SA’s and SA’s alike) generally warm up to a friendly person rather than a more reserved one. It’s human nature.
When I am in a particularly good mood (not often), I put this theory to the test and try to smile and engage people in small talk. Generally, I try to be more friendly. Amazingly, I almost always get positive responses from people. I guess you get back what you put out but after years of living with this condition, it is very hard to consistently come across as a friendly, positive person. My self-esteem is shot and most times I resent the world and the people in it. Not a very friendly way to present yourself. Still, I do have days when I almost feel like I could get a lot closer to people and perhaps start feeling “normal”, whatever that is.
Tim
