Can you beat it by yourself?

[Anonymous]

hi i'm new..and i've always been super nervous and anxious around people but never knew the reason..well until today at least..so i know i have social phobia and its harsh, its holding me back from doing the things i love!!..i can't eat infront of people without excusing myself to the washroom every few minutes becuase i get so nervous that i make myself sick, i can't make phone calls unless i thoroughly rehearse what i'm going to say, and even then i feel like the person is judging me, i get super nervous at school thinking that people are watching me, ...and i was thinking if its a conscience thing would it be possible to fight it by yourself?? i mean everyone says the only steps to beat it is to get therapy or medication and i don't really have access to that. Now i'm only 15 and of course still in school which mean i have to do a lot of oral presentations..and so far this year during every presentation i have felt like i was going to pass out becuase of how nervous i was..and i know i jsut make it worse by thinking about it..but seriously its hard not to. But even though i have this phobia i still do things that include public speaking..for example i'm in drama right now..and omg we have to do a monologue infront of the ENTIRE class..and you have to memorize it and we're doing it in like a week..ooooh i'm freaking out just thinking about it..but no matter the obstacle i always push myslef through..so now that i've babbled on for countless sentences i'll finally get to my question..do you think that social phobia is beatable all by yourself..without professional help or medication???

 

[GettingThere]

There are lots of good books that would certainly help you and thats a start but I would recommend doing something about it because you would really be doing yourself a favour. There have been a couple of postings on recommended reading.

 

[Yossarian]

Hello and welcome Britney... I guess whether we can get over sp on our own depends on the individual and the degree of sp.

I hate this modern path education is taking. It's all based around communication blah blah. That's all good and well but like if someone found the cure for cancer would we only accept it they delivered it to a group with a presentation.... Einstein, Newton they seemed to do all right without powerpoint or whatever it is...

Bah I'm rambling sorry.... I get where you're coming from. whatever therapy you take you will have to face your fears. I think there are methods, techniques, medication that can make it easier but in the end we have to push ourselves. That said however... I think there is something to CBT. I'm still scared of things I've done a thousand times. I think we have to change our way of thinking as well and CBT would appear to be the best way to do that.

I'm sorry you have to fight this alone. I would seriously talk to someone at school. If not your teachers then a school counscillor or someone. They are there to help you and may try and find ways to help you. It's hard alone.... it's too easy to let things slide. Good luck with it. I hope you can find people who can help you. Maybe it is possible on your own. I've been trying for ten years and it hasn't worked for me but that's me. Best wishes and all that.

 

[Anonymous]

I had a whole lot of trouble too w/ getting up in front of the class to do a speech or presentation.

I don't know you and I hate to assume things but to me it seems like the reason you ask if it's possible to beat this on your own w/out therapy or meds is because you're embarrassed. Having this phobia and the thought of talking about it and admitting it to other people kind of makes you feel some sense of shame and so you'd rather do it on your own and keep most of it to yourself.

I only say this because those were and kind of still are, my feelings about my own fears. But I've found that the best thing is to really reach out to someone else for help whether it's your parents, a friend, a teacher, anybody.

I've also heard a Dr. on a radio show explain how people going through any kind of mental obstacles can't do it on their own. They need to reach out to other people who know what they're going through and who can support them if they want to make any progress. Well I don't know how true this is but it makes sense to me.

Lots of luck to you.

 

[Shadow]

I think you can beat it yourself, but you have to be really dedicated. It's much easier to do if you have help so if you have people who can help you there's no reason why you shouldn't talk to them. It's a hard step, I know. I refused any help for a long, long time. But since I've been getting treatment I've made remarkable progress.

If you don't want to seek professional help I highly recommend that you speak to your parents about it. They can be very helpful and supportive.

 

[lifesnotfair]

i have no choice to do it on my own, nobody else seems to want to help

 

[Anonymous]

hey britney, im 15 too, so im doing the same sorta stuff at school..i dunno where youre from, but im from england..and yeh, i have the oral speeches and stuff to do ,and i agree with Yossaria..education is now all about communicating...my friend knows this deaf girl who is predicted a C grade at gcse, but would still pass and get into the college she wants..but ther government says that girls must speak themselves for their oral, she was going to write it and have an interpretur to read it because she doesnt know how to speak, so now she will lose 20% of her mark, so fail her gcse and not get into college..
anyway, yeh, im going off topic.

try speaking to close friends (if you have any) or try to talk to a teacher, or school official, w/e. theyl try and help..or speak to your parents! mind you i know how dfficutl that can be, depends how close you are to them. Or go by yourself to a doctor to tak about stuff, if you can manage that.
good luck
..and talk to me any time

 

[Anonymous]

thanks guys,
i've already slightly talked to my mom about it..she tryed to convince me that its only shyness and i got frusterated and gave up..but later last night i tried again and i think i finally got through to her..and she started telling me that when she was younger she had the exact same problems as me, but as she grew up she never let it hold her back and she continued to do the things she loved and eventually got over it..and then she made me really happy and confident about beating it becuase she starting telling me how i never really let it hold me back..even though i despise eating infront of others i still go to peoples house for dinner..even though i get super bad anxiety when doing publis speaking..i continue doing drama...even though i think people are judging me in public i still always go shopping and so she said if i continue to work hard and not let it hold me back that i can get over it..and that above all things made me soooo happy and now that i've discussed i with her i finally have someone to talk about it to.