Can you 'snap out' of it?

[Hellraising]

With no medication and therapy, is it possible to just snap out or grow out of it?

 

[FruitLooPs]

If by 'snap out' you mean get miraculously better in a week or something then no, i'd say not.

But grow out of it, possibly - certainly not everyone does though, so dont just rely on that. I think that with time my confidence is growing, slowly - no idea if it'll actually come to anything or not though hehe.

There are many factors to it, like your mindset and I guess to a certain extent age (if you're under 16 or so i'd wait several years before worrying about being like that for the long term) I say that purely because early on in teenage years stuff often gets skewed easily.

Personally, i'd give therapy ago - nothing to lose right If it doesn't work, take another approach of your own. Meds can also help with various things in severe cases.

 

[Hellraising]

But if one's housebound, how is one supposed to go for therapy?

 

[racheH]

I grew out of a fear of dogs and more recently of being upside-down. Other ones have got more severe or developed and branched out. Before I got it sorted, my social phobia had gone from being scared of disapproval to being scared to show any kind of emotion in public, even if I knew it would make people dislike me all the more :? More and more bizarre phobias to do with people. Exposure either makes phobias better or worse, in my experience.

'Snapping out'? I seriously doubt it. There has to be insight and/or reversal of associations, and for me this took about two years, although I didn't have hypnotism which I suspect could have sped the whole thing up a lot.

(Side note if anyone's interested... I'm sitting close to a spider as I'm typing this and not feeling much at all Never thought that would happen! I guess it's because I believe I can beat these things now.)

 

[MadCat]

HellRaising, I'm in that same boat. I can't go for therapy and I will not take medications.

I am housebound too.

It's very much possible to snap out of it under these conditions. When you learn that outside help isn't going to come to you, you'll have a hard time coming up with a solution.

It's up to us to change ourselves and not rely on the help of others to do that for us. When you're housebound the only thing you can trust is you and whoever it is who is around you.

Anyway, finding the solution isn't easy and I still haven't found it. Btw people have snapped out of mental illness before many times, including stuff that supposedly was believed to be permenant and non-reversible.

Unless you are rich a therapist won't give you sessions in your own home and it won't be covered by the NHS or insurance.

Alot of people are unaware of the efects of not being able to get help while housebound, especially with absolutely no friends. I'm not sure if you're in that situation too (not online friends I mean offline ones who come visit you) but anywya, I said too much.

But yeah, snapping out in this circumstances is pretty much higher than if you were able to go out and get therapy etc.

Perhaps one us will find the answer someday.

 

[Carina33]

I wish that I could somehow snap out of it.... or at least work out of it on my own. My problem is not myself- it is my family who are unwilling to take me to a therapist or get me medication. I have only been told that I do not really have a problem and that I will have to deal with it on my own.

 

[believesomething]

My problem is not myself- it is my family who are unwilling to take me to a therapist or get me medication. I have only been told that I do not really have a problem and that I will have to deal with it on my own.

Carina33 - that sounds terrible, the most hurtful thing of all is to be told that something isn't real when you feel or know it is. Umm, and this is strange to suggest - but can you do what you can to find therapy on your own? Would this be possible? Would it be confidential where you are if so?

If not (and this is by far a second-rate or much worse option), maybe you could look into doing a lot of reading in the area? There's plenty of self-help books, and some have mentioned course-style options as well that you do with materials....

But if one's housebound, how is one supposed to go for therapy?

Maybe there's other versions of therapy on offer? I'm not sure what the options are in Hellywood itself , but some psychologists have been known to do phone consultations, and many government-based groups here also do home visits. Maybe these could be options? I'm not sure.

Believe.

 

[Oak]

...

 

[MadCat]

Maybe there's other versions of therapy on offer? I'm not sure what the options are in Hellywood itself , but some psychologists have been known to do phone consultations, and many government-based groups here also do home visits. Maybe these could be options? I'm not sure.

Good luck for anyone trying to find this who doesn't have a strong profit / spendable income.

You'll be amazingly lucky to get any of the above come right to you without the finances to cover it. Psychologists aren't cheap and those who are not private won't even bother.

Remember that most psychologists and psychiatrists have the job in the first place for the money. You'll find that at least half of them don't do it for the right reasons other than personal gain and reputation. Sad to say but the ones who are given to people by their government are the worst you can really get and they like giving their job a number.

 

[Carina33]

believesomething and Oak.... thanks for the words.... The most that I have been able to try is anything that I can do for myself. The reason that I discovered this forum is because I just finished a remarkable book on SA, Painfully Shy by Barbara Markway, and it mentioned that finding a place like this might be helpful. I have been trying to do a lot of what that book says, because of all of the books on SA, it seems to be one that I can really use.
Sometimes when things get really bad, I think of maybe going to talk to our school councelor, but I just know that people never go to him for personal problems. And, worse, I am in a program called IB at my school, so we have this one special councelor for about all 50 of us, and I know that none of them would ever go to him. Sometimes I think of talking to my doctor about it and hope that she is one of the informed doctors on SA, and that she might be able to talk to my parents... but that's mostly about it.

 

[believesomething]

Good luck for anyone trying to find this who doesn't have a strong profit / spendable income.

You'll be amazingly lucky to get any of the above come right to you without the finances to cover it. Psychologists aren't cheap and those who are not private won't even bother.

Remember that most psychologists and psychiatrists have the job in the first place for the money. You'll find that at least half of them don't do it for the right reasons other than personal gain and reputation. Sad to say but the ones who are given to people by their government are the worst you can really get and they like giving their job a number.

I'm sorry MadCat, but I'm about to respectfully disagree.

I tend not to think most psychologists and psychiatrists have the job for the money:

1. Very few people actually choose a profession on $$$ basis alone (keeping in mind most people choose a profession coming out of school, at 17/18 ).

2. Counselling (of either of the "psych" forms") is a large personal challenge, it can lead to a large amount of self-doubt, a large amount of guilt, and not surprisingly, even mental issues for the counsellor. There are many, many easier ways for people to make $$ in life, if that's all they're interested in. Why spend your life listening to and trying to solve other's problems, if it's not something you have a passion for?

3. Most (not all, but most) high-income professions aren't hourly-paid anyways (primarily as time tends to be a very limiting factor that none of us can manufacture more of!). Those that are high paid and hourly-based tend to be very hierarchical / firm based (think of lawyers, accountants), and not one-on-one based anyways.

4. Those in the public systems often end up treating people with many more issues than in the private system (for one example, the public system would largely be responsible for prisons), and have very very challenging jobs. Most could easily earn a little more (if not a lot) in the private system, but many choose not to. Call it stupid, call it a sense of social conscience. Like most professionals, most do the best they can for their clients.

5. Most psychiatrists could have chosen any medical speciality they desired, and almost any of the "surgery" based specialities pay the most, and also receive the most kudos within the medical profession and outside it too (imagine the gushing reception an "average" heart surgeon at a social gathering would receive versus the "average" psychiatrist!)

Anyways - motivation excluded - in my humble opinion, the biggest factor in whether or not an appropriately qualified and experienced counsellor (psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor, etc) is successful with a client is the fit between them and the client. Government or private, phone-based or office-based, etc etc, if two people mesh, and one is trained in treating the other, then most of the time something positive will result.

I'm not saying everyone is perfect. I'm not saying some people in life aren't motivated by money. I am saying I think, on balance, most professionals are in it for the right reasons and that people should certainly try using the services of one they can afford / have access to / etc.

I'd hate to think there's people out there being scared away from trying some form of therapy if they're keen to. If you're keen to, and you have some form of access to it, I say approach it with an open mind and see what it can do for you!

BelieveSomething.

(edit: removed accidental smiley)

 

[Hellraising]

some psychologists have been known to do phone consultations, and many government-based groups here also do home visits.

I haven't used the phone in months. I don't think I can do that.
No one has seen me, other than my parents. I don't think I can let anyone else do.

I'm sure there are lots of options. I mean, I can just go out and find a councellor. Easy. But what's holding me back is that I'm too much of a coward to do anything.

 

[believesomething]

I haven't used the phone in months. I don't think I can do that. No one has seen me, other than my parents. I don't think I can let anyone else do.

I'm sure there are lots of options. I mean, I can just go out and find a councellor. Easy. But what's holding me back is that I'm too much of a coward to do anything.

I can appreciate you not using the phone, and I can appreciate you not wanting others to see you than your parents. And I really don't think you're a coward, in any way, shape or form. What you're dealing with sounds very very challenging.

Hmm. If you were keen to try the counselling option (and it sounds like you might be) - what about trying an internet option? God knows if they exist - but you seem fairly confident in typing mode....

Maybe you could see if your parents could consult local authorities / counsellors / etc and see if anyone would be comfortable working this way with you - maybe at least until you're comfortable enough with them?

I don't know - I'm clutching at straws here. Maybe someone else who's been in your specific situation can talk from experience. I hope, if you do think counselling might help, there is some way for you to access it. Surfing sites like these can help in small ways, but there are few ways to replace a trained professional focussed on specifically helping you imho.

I hope what I'm saying isn't to crap / ridiculous.

BelieveSomething.

 

[MadCat]

Believesomething:

I see you disagree with me on just about everything. That's fine.

But here's something to think about too. Psychologists and psychiatrists often choose the job because they also have problems of their own.

It's non uncommon to find a narcissistic psychiatrist running all over the place.

As for your advise to hellraising I must say that I tihnk you're looking at this too unrealistic and ignoring reality. I don't know how things are over there, but in the UK it's pretty unlikely that's gonna happen.

I'm getting the advanced care package from a community mental health team, pretty much the big system designed for those with bad cases and still living in the community, but...they wont' do shit for me.

I can either go out or I get forced to go out, end of..not much choice huh? No offense but if these options were so accessible then I'm sure alot more people would have been doing it right now. You ever been to this point? Me and Hellraising seem to be in a pretty similar situation..I don't know what he/she has tried but the options you give are not easily accessed. I suppose in some rare cases you're right, but think about it..it's not widespread and common.

You're giving rare advice. And how do I know? I've done tons of reading on the subjects and gathered my own littles stats up.

People with money who can spend that money get far more options. I'm not sure of Hell's income so he/she may be able to get these things, but if the income is pretty bad like mine then good luck. I'm not trying to make anyone feel down or bad, just trying to get people to stop thinking of the pretty picture all the time and thinking about solutions that jump into the not so realistic category.

I'm not having a go at you, far far from that. If I was I'd have the whole forum ontop of me. I expect people to flame me for this or *disagree* but so be it.

 

[believesomething]

I'm not having a go at you, far far from that. If I was I'd have the whole forum ontop of me. I expect people to flame me for this or *disagree* but so be it.

I know you're not having a go at me, MadCat - equally I hope you know I wasn't having a go at you too!. And not that my opinion in the next regard really matters I guess, but far from disagreeing with your last post, I agree with pretty much everything you said.

It was an awesome reply - and thanks for replying from a more knowledgeable, more grounded-in-experience perspective - I was hoping someone would, and I'm kind of glad it was you. Cheers.

To bring it all back to HellRaising's original question, and to be at my most naive & child-like:

With no medication and therapy, is it possible to just snap out or grow out of it?

For everyone's sake, I still kind of hope so!

BelieveSomething.

 

[MadCat]

I'm very sorry for my last post with the hostile and anger. I've been having a terrible week and I just needed to find someone to vent on. You just happened to be the first person when I was going through my..uhh...thing

I've been dealing with tons of issues. Thanks for not ripping me apart with some reply. I would of got myself banned probably for going into a rampage ifyou happened to have said something nasty (which I did deserve I think).

 

[Hellraising]

you seem fairly confident in typing mode....

Haha! That's so true!

 

[gale]

hi carina33 i'm interested on the book you mentioned about sp titled Painfully Shy.how can i procure it ?im from the philppines and i didnt see such book in the boookstore or any book of related topic.can i purchase it by mail? i guess i cant purchase it online because i dont have a credit card or a bank account ,you see the economy here is at its worst.i live below the poverty line so my financial capability is so limited.can you give me some helpful tips on how can i purchase such books ?your suggestions will be of great help to me.god bless to all of you folks...

 

[black_mamba]

Gale - maybe someone who has read the book will be willing you send you a 2nd hand copy. I know I certainly would if I had the book. But I don't.

Sorry!

 

[Fighter86]

I wish that I could somehow snap out of it.... or at least work out of it on my own. My problem is not myself- it is my family who are unwilling to take me to a therapist or get me medication. I have only been told that I do not really have a problem and that I will have to deal with it on my own.

Well, intially, my parents were not keen on me getting help as well. I mean I had sort of force it upon them for me to get help. Even then, my father didn't know that I was seeing a therapist. It was much much later on when I had more SA related problems that he knew that I had been seeing a therapist. Anyway, my parents too don't think I have a problem. They simply refuse to regcognise it. But I guess it is partly my fault as well since I try to hold off some info from them. But its not as if like if I were to tell them, they would understand. I mean, I had already left 3 schools because of SA & they still think that there is no problem with me. They think it is just me being lazy. Go figure :roll:


As to Hellraising's question, nope, I don't think SA is something that u can snap out of. But if u r simply painfully shy but not have SA (as in u are nervous & don't speak much but not feel like fainting or have your heart pounding wildly till u think u r having a heart attack-systoms of SA) then maybe you can grow out of your painfully shy stage, esp. if u are a child or teenager. Otherwise, I don't think so. Sorry to burst ur bubble I mean I have been in therapy for like 7-8 months but am nowwhere near 'normal'. So, to just simply 'snap out' of it seems quite nearly impossible.