helenrogers
Member
Hi, I'm Helen, I'm 15, and I think I have SA. Ever since I've been a small child...I've been outgoing, outspoken, energetic, etc...until recently.
My high school career started in 2002 and I noticed a big change in my "outgoing"-ness once I had an ICE course (intro to chemistry something...I don't remember what the E stood for..but that's not important) and it required a few presentations here and there. I remember not really wanting to speak in front of the class but I did it anyway because I knew it was something I had to do. I didn't think much of this though. I figured it was the type of "stagefright" everyone experiences in their presentations and what-not. But it gets much worse.
My sophomore year began in 2003 and I had forgotten pretty much over the summer about the anxiety I would feel during presentations or anything of the nature. I was quickly and "severely" reminded a few weeks into the new year. I had a World Civ class and of course, one of the first things we did was reading out loud from our book. Now, in my earlier school years I LOVED doing this with a passion. But that day, when the open-your-books-and-turn-to-page-157 words escaped my World Civ teacher's mouth, I was engorged with panic and terror. And yes, he did the whole routine where he was just randomly calling on people (which made the situation that much more worse). I remember sitting in my seat experiencing the most horrific sensations and feelings. I could barely even see straight and my head was pounding with fear. He finally called on me, and I froze. I opened my mouth to speak and only the first two sentences came out. And then I just basically, excused myself and said that I had to go to the bathroom and that it was urgent. I had never felt so humiliated in my life.
Ever since that day, I've had numerous incidents similar to it happen. I'm an anxiety bomb now. I've tried looking up things to help me out on the internet and they are no use. Other problems have sprouted from this incident also. I have trouble with everyday communication such as answering the phone and carrying on a conversation, ordering at a restaurant (it's dumb because I always dread speaking to the waitress or cashier), and other situations. I have trouble eating in public because I feel people are watching me and thinking that I'm a pig. Even if I'm only eating a piece of gum or something. It's terrible and the list goes on and on. It's so bad that I've recently come to the conclusion that I either get some sort of a "doctor's excuse" for the rest of my high school career that excuses me from any sort of vocal projection or I just...basically...drop out. I'm at my wit's end and I don't want to feel panic or anxiety and I definitely am tired of being put into the awkward and terrifying situations at school. *siiiiiiiigh..*
My high school career started in 2002 and I noticed a big change in my "outgoing"-ness once I had an ICE course (intro to chemistry something...I don't remember what the E stood for..but that's not important) and it required a few presentations here and there. I remember not really wanting to speak in front of the class but I did it anyway because I knew it was something I had to do. I didn't think much of this though. I figured it was the type of "stagefright" everyone experiences in their presentations and what-not. But it gets much worse.
My sophomore year began in 2003 and I had forgotten pretty much over the summer about the anxiety I would feel during presentations or anything of the nature. I was quickly and "severely" reminded a few weeks into the new year. I had a World Civ class and of course, one of the first things we did was reading out loud from our book. Now, in my earlier school years I LOVED doing this with a passion. But that day, when the open-your-books-and-turn-to-page-157 words escaped my World Civ teacher's mouth, I was engorged with panic and terror. And yes, he did the whole routine where he was just randomly calling on people (which made the situation that much more worse). I remember sitting in my seat experiencing the most horrific sensations and feelings. I could barely even see straight and my head was pounding with fear. He finally called on me, and I froze. I opened my mouth to speak and only the first two sentences came out. And then I just basically, excused myself and said that I had to go to the bathroom and that it was urgent. I had never felt so humiliated in my life.
Ever since that day, I've had numerous incidents similar to it happen. I'm an anxiety bomb now. I've tried looking up things to help me out on the internet and they are no use. Other problems have sprouted from this incident also. I have trouble with everyday communication such as answering the phone and carrying on a conversation, ordering at a restaurant (it's dumb because I always dread speaking to the waitress or cashier), and other situations. I have trouble eating in public because I feel people are watching me and thinking that I'm a pig. Even if I'm only eating a piece of gum or something. It's terrible and the list goes on and on. It's so bad that I've recently come to the conclusion that I either get some sort of a "doctor's excuse" for the rest of my high school career that excuses me from any sort of vocal projection or I just...basically...drop out. I'm at my wit's end and I don't want to feel panic or anxiety and I definitely am tired of being put into the awkward and terrifying situations at school. *siiiiiiiigh..*
