Can't stop fantasising about other women.

[Len]

I know it is supposed to be normal to fantasise and look at women if you are a man but I just can't help looking at other women and it is driving me bonkers.

I am in a relationship at the moment and everything is going great. The problem is that, given the opportunity, I think that I will not have enough control to resist having sex with another women.

I feel that every women that I see I have to make a decision as to whether or not I would have sex with them. Sometimes I will say 'no' at first but if I see them again I might change my mind.

I always have to turn around and check out another female's ass even though I am busy doing something at the time. For example, if I was late for a meeting and in a hurry, I would still have to turn around and look.

I know it is a bit weird but I am not attracted to the stars on TV. It's real life women that I fantasise about. Students, milfs, Doctors, the newsagent, the next door neighbour. It doesn't matter who it is. A): Are they hot; B) Would I have sex with them. That's all I think about: Are they hot, would I have sex with them.

I am not very choosy as long as their bum is not too big then anyone in my opinion come within the 'I would have sex with them category'

Is this OCD, BMX, RTD2, SAD, MERY, HYPERVIGILOSIS, ANXIETY? HELP. ANY OTHER GUYS OR GALS THINK LIKE THIS?

 

[ripewithdecay]

Uhh, it's just being a dude. Don't worry about it!

You think that's bad? Try speeding up your walking so you can 'catch up' and check out the girl that's 1 block away.

 

[Len]

HAHAHA! I do that too. SHIT...

 

[decadeOfSA]

It's called a healthy libido. I have similar feelings, but I am not primarily concerned with big boobs and a nice ass(though those are a plus). I'm more into a pretty face and great personality. Women with a pretty face and great personality occupy my thoughts constantly. Luckily most of them like me, but too bad I have SA. I'm too shy to fully express myself and women get pissed off with me for that. I would think about the consequences of having sex before you do or you might end up with a kid or a STD. The internet is a great outlet for a healthy libido without having to have sex. Use google

 

[Len]

The thing is even if I use porn or masterbate before I go into the real world it is just the same. Sometimes I think, OK I have just masterbated so no need to look at women. But still the little bugger in my brain says 'You must look - do not miss an opportunity, she has tight buns.'

Do you think geniuses are just people who focussed all their mental energy on one thing rather than thinking about booty? I wonder...

 

[villacjs]

You sound like a normal healthy male. Whether you are in a relationship or not checking out other women is okay IMO. Sex is crossing the line, but I believe every man has the will power to resist the urge. Seriously if it is really bugging you see a psychologist for some advice!

 

[decadeOfSA]

The thing is even if I use porn or masterbate before I go into the real world it is just the same. Sometimes I think, OK I have just masterbated so no need to look at women. But still the little bugger in my brain says 'You must look - do not miss an opportunity, she has tight buns.'

Do you think geniuses are just people who focussed all their mental energy on one thing rather than thinking about booty? I wonder...

Yeah some people can just control their feelings and focus, but I can't either. Women have given me a lot of anxiety and some mild depression over the years. I often wish I never met any beautiful women, then I would be a lot more level-headed. I prefer heart-shaped hineys to tight buns myself

Actually my SA became severe when I was at a job working around a lot of women. They like me, so a lot of them were constantly starting at me, smiling, etc. and that was anxiety provoking and made me think of a lot of them way too much. I've had pretty severe SA since then, though it's not just around women.

 

[Len]

They like me, so a lot of them were constantly starting at me, smiling, etc. and that was anxiety provoking and made me think of a lot of them way too much.

Just curious I wonder if you could clarify, did it make you anxious because your emotions were overwhelming? i.e Did you feel your sex drive got the better of you?

 

[CK23]

I have the same problem... When i fantasize i also think that the girl is taking charge and making some serious sexual moves on me... I feel weak in the knees around beautiful women.. it gets worse if they are smart and confident as well... i feel like they'll swallow me up like a morsel! I feel this is abnormal thinking and i feel disgusted when i mastuberate but the thing is i can't stop myself... i feel frozen the whole day and when i reach home i am overwhelmed by stress and isolation...I love being around nice caring women but i feel really anxious around them cos of this SA i always carry around... Thing is on a positive note i have considerably improved i mean i can atleast keep control and not lose it completely like i used to when i was younger...

 

[decadeOfSA]

They like me, so a lot of them were constantly starting at me, smiling, etc. and that was anxiety provoking and made me think of a lot of them way too much.

Just curious I wonder if you could clarify, did it make you anxious because your emotions were overwhelming? i.e Did you feel your sex drive got the better of you?

I just felt anxious because I didn't like them staring at me all the time and just watching me constantly. I don't know. I just started thinking about my body and image too much and started thinking about them and my SA just went from very minor to severe and I haven't been the same since then. I started getting headaches and a stiff neck and couldn't think straight around people, etc. It kind of generalized itself and now I get those symptoms around all people and in performance situations it's worse. I subconciously feel like I am being judged or something.

 

[drd77]

I work in a grocery store and there are so many MILFS that come in there it is ridiculous. I find myself getting boners all day and I have to look at them no matter what.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

LOL I have to agree with drd. I too work in the grocery store and the demographic is mostly females. Maby 80%. I would n't worry about but since you are writting this post you are worrying about it so let us ask you some questions.

#1 What is it about your personal standards that causes looking at other women to be such an issue?

#2 The fact that you are on a site like this means your shy like us and you probaly dont get to be this close to women very often so now that you have a girlfriend you have gotten a taste of what you were not getting or what you were pushing away.

I think the solution is to simply realize that its a myth that cupples automaticaly stop looking once they get hooked up. Its like buying a car. After you buy a type of car you imideatly start noticing other new cars espicaly the brand that you chose.

What you should of post is how you didnt what half of us seem unable to do. Dont be greedy man. How did you meet this girl in the first place. inquring minds want to know.LOL

 

[Len]

In response to Tampa Bay:

For me, I am 29 and looking at other women is beginning to be a bit of a drag. Why can't I just be happy with the one person? I feel like every time I look at another women I have this sensation in my body like a chemical reaction (I think there is scientific proof that looking at women stimulates some chemical in the brain). It's the harsh reality that (A) I can't have her and (B) I have a girlfriend. It's almost like this primitive desire still manifested in us humans that we cannot control.

I know that this post isn't one of those complaining about being a virgin and not having a girlfriend. Everytime I read one of those all I want to say is that (A) sex is overrated and (B) when you pop your cherry and when do have a girlfriend you will then start to think about having sex with other people and that urge will not go away. I don't know if its socialisation or the media but us males will NEVER be happy with what we have. Also, remember being a virgin is not a disease, it's SAD that is the main problem and if you have SAD then it is difficult to get pussy. Just keep on working at beating SAD every day.

Yes I am shy and have generalised anxiety but I am the kind of person that manages to conceal it well. I think some people misconstrue it as arrogance. For example, I 'came out' recently to my gf and she didn't have a clue that I had anxiety.

I met my girlfriend because I put in the time and effort to change my life around. I had a plan that would get me closer to people and help me be more sociable and also to get rid of my GAD. Also I had a bit of luck on my side.

It's good to know that other guys do the same things as I do. Sometimes I try to notice whether other guys look at girls but they don't seem to. Must be good at it.

This is a question to the girls. Do you notice if guys look at you?

 

[Dave_McFadden]

You sound perfectly normal to me. Just because you're "attached" doesn't mean you all of a sudden stop finding other women attractive. I mean, it doesn't sound like your stalking any of them, just looking.

Do you think geniuses are just people who focussed all their mental energy on one thing rather than thinking about booty? I wonder...

Most geniuses are afraid of booty. However, instincts being what they are, it's hard to completely ignore. So they learn early on to focus on something else to take their attention away from it. Thankfully, the circles where geniuses move are pretty much COMPLETELY devoid of booty.

Of course, one could question the idea that a male who has successfully shifted his thoughts away from sex could be classified as a "genius". I certainly question it.

 

[CK23]

I feel like a new recruit reporting to an army general when i speak to a beautiful, sexy head strong lady... i have BDSM...

 

[Kat]

You're going to find other people attractive just like she is going to find other people attractive. Those instincts are what brought you together but we have established that most people are above their natural instincts and have some intelligence unless they want to act like animals and some people do.

It hurts most people to do those things fuck someone else whilst your in a relationship just because your animal instincts urge you too. If you love and respect and want to stay with this person you’re with yeah sure it’s natural and normal to look and think someone is pretty or cute or what ever but the sex thing is crossing the line by far especially if she wants a monogamous relationship which I am assuming she would because that is the point of having a relationship.


It is hard for most girls not to take that as a personal attack and make them feel like there is something wrong with them like their ugly or something. Even with the just looking thing. In most cases it’s not true I notice guys looking and it is pretty obvious that the girl next to them is their girlfriend and the girlfriend is hot probably even more so then the one with the wondering eyes. Most girls have nothing to worry about in that respect they just need to be with someone that they can have an open honest and happy relationship with. I would suggest every time you feel the urge to do that think my gf would look so hot in that out fit and make it a point to tell her how gorgeous she is. You need to kick those instincts in the butt they’re not the boss of you or if they are break it off with the one that your with because your not doing her any favors and you should be with people that want the same thing as you out of a relationship.

 

[Walk]

I work in a grocery store and there are so many MILFS that come in there it is ridiculous. I find myself getting boners all day and I have to look at them no matter what.

LOL

My favorite post. <3

I hear ya...

 

[Stressball]

Well, I don't think its weird, you sound like your average male to me...nothing to worry about. I'm a chick and I can't stop fantasizing about random guys I see in public, especially my cousin's best friend who is a model and I fantasize about him regularly. Then sometimes when I just go to a shopping centre, now that I can finally go into public places without feeling like I'm having a heart attack...I'm just a pervert and keep staring at guys I think are attractive and thinking dirty things. And staring at their crotches or chests. I just feel embarassed soo much sometimes. Like I can't openly say that stuff or obviously people are going to think I'm a slut, at least for guys its accepted pretty much.

 

[Rodox]

There is just something about a girl walking that can turn the shyest of guys into stalkerish mode .

 

[sabbath92002]

What can I do, Im a nervous wreck?
Theres girls everywhere, I better go and check. check it out
I cant tell a diamond from a hole in the ground.
They all got my head spinning round and round.
Planet of women, oh yeah.
The planet of women, oh yeah.
Its driving me insane.

They start by acting just a little discreet.
Then theyre in the skies and theyre in the streets.
You can find them in cars or a hotel lobby,
Theyre easy to find, just look for a body.
Planet of women, oh yeah.
Just a planet of women, oh yeah.
Its driving me insane.

If you have the answer, drop me a line today
Or send a straight jacket something in a shade of gray.
I think Ive sprained my brain cause it wont unwind.
Every day its man against man on the
Planet of women, oh yeah.
Just a planet of women, oh yeah.
Its driving me insane,
Its driving me insane.