Luka
Well-known member
Does anyone else constantly strive to be happy but never actually achieve it? Can we ever be happy?
I go through ups and downs with my mental state, mostly downs. It's not like my life is even that hard; I'm financially secure due to living at home with my mother, have a part time job and made friends there, I'm dating someone, go out as much as possible with friends, due to start volunteering at a hospital in the hopes to progress my career... you get the picture. Yet, none of it actually makes me happy. And if it does, then it's certainly temporary.
I want to live life on adventure, I hate feeling like I'm going through this constant cycle of working from Mon-Fri then having the weekend. I hate going home at night feeling alone. I hate that my friends are going off to uni without me. I hate that my hobbies don't make me feel engaged anymore. I hate that I can barely touch my meals as I have no appetite. I hate going out and feeling like the whole world is judging me. I hate looking at myself and seeing pure ugliness. I feel like my negative thoughts are on loop and I just want to suppress them and realise I have happiness, I'm just blinded from it by what feels like depression.
In fact, my social anxiety is at a minimum as of late. I can so******e with people and pretend I'm okay at it. I feel anxious all the time but generally just about the future and other worries. I don't even know what this post is - I just felt like venting my thoughts that have accumulated over the past few months.
I go through ups and downs with my mental state, mostly downs. It's not like my life is even that hard; I'm financially secure due to living at home with my mother, have a part time job and made friends there, I'm dating someone, go out as much as possible with friends, due to start volunteering at a hospital in the hopes to progress my career... you get the picture. Yet, none of it actually makes me happy. And if it does, then it's certainly temporary.
I want to live life on adventure, I hate feeling like I'm going through this constant cycle of working from Mon-Fri then having the weekend. I hate going home at night feeling alone. I hate that my friends are going off to uni without me. I hate that my hobbies don't make me feel engaged anymore. I hate that I can barely touch my meals as I have no appetite. I hate going out and feeling like the whole world is judging me. I hate looking at myself and seeing pure ugliness. I feel like my negative thoughts are on loop and I just want to suppress them and realise I have happiness, I'm just blinded from it by what feels like depression.
In fact, my social anxiety is at a minimum as of late. I can so******e with people and pretend I'm okay at it. I feel anxious all the time but generally just about the future and other worries. I don't even know what this post is - I just felt like venting my thoughts that have accumulated over the past few months.