TreeBones
Well-known member
Ok, it's been a while since I've been on this site so I'm sorry if this is not cohesively written..and I'll try to summarize as much as possible.
I'm 18 and have never been to high school. In September I started to take online classes. My plan was to wait until I turned 18 so that I could get my GED where I am...I just wanted to get by. However an amazing opportunity was presented to me by my teacher. It was a special program at a college for students with low credits, it allows them to earn high school credits and college credits at the same time while being a college student.
I had to do about 3 exams, several different tests, and 2 interviews to apply. This was extremely hard for me to do.. I couldn't keep eye contact and you could obviously see I was nervous as hell. but that's a whole other story entirely.
To my surprise though, I got accepted for the scholarship ..and at first I was excited but that didn't last too long.
There was an orientation last week and just the school itself made me feel out of place, even though it's a technical college, it's gigantic. The main building where I was has big fancy stairways that play music when you walk up them and ... Just a whole bunch of other weird things. It's completely overwhelming. Also on orientation we had to do "icebreakers" and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack talking to other people. I've basically not "talk, talked" to people in years...
Anyway, Monday was my first official day of school of what they call "boot camp" it's basically the final final interview for the program to show that you're committed for the first week. It was kind of a good day I guess... Especially compared to how it could of gone but still hard.
It's hard to not look nervous, its hard to be myself, it's hard to keep eye contact, it's hard not to embarrass myself, it's just hard not to be discouraged and keep positive.. The kids were so nice to be so I should be happy about that but even the most shy kids in the class excel better in socializing than me...
I skipped yesterday and today because I absolutely thought I couldn't keep this up...
I already emailed my teachers saying I can't attend anymore..And they've emailed me back telling me to try and to come to school, and that everyone's wondering where I am..but I'm so embarrassed. On the outside it looks like I was given a great opportunity and just spat in the face of it after the first day...or that I'm some kind of a drama queen or quitter or something.
Im really trying but I know it doesn't look like it to other people.
I kind of feel, like I need to feel related to right now.
I know I have to go back tomorrow but it's just so difficult to do. Besides if I don't I'll be homeless.
Just wanted to share and maybe someone might have some insight for me. Thank you for reading all of this if you did ahaha.
I'm 18 and have never been to high school. In September I started to take online classes. My plan was to wait until I turned 18 so that I could get my GED where I am...I just wanted to get by. However an amazing opportunity was presented to me by my teacher. It was a special program at a college for students with low credits, it allows them to earn high school credits and college credits at the same time while being a college student.
I had to do about 3 exams, several different tests, and 2 interviews to apply. This was extremely hard for me to do.. I couldn't keep eye contact and you could obviously see I was nervous as hell. but that's a whole other story entirely.
To my surprise though, I got accepted for the scholarship ..and at first I was excited but that didn't last too long.
There was an orientation last week and just the school itself made me feel out of place, even though it's a technical college, it's gigantic. The main building where I was has big fancy stairways that play music when you walk up them and ... Just a whole bunch of other weird things. It's completely overwhelming. Also on orientation we had to do "icebreakers" and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack talking to other people. I've basically not "talk, talked" to people in years...
Anyway, Monday was my first official day of school of what they call "boot camp" it's basically the final final interview for the program to show that you're committed for the first week. It was kind of a good day I guess... Especially compared to how it could of gone but still hard.
It's hard to not look nervous, its hard to be myself, it's hard to keep eye contact, it's hard not to embarrass myself, it's just hard not to be discouraged and keep positive.. The kids were so nice to be so I should be happy about that but even the most shy kids in the class excel better in socializing than me...
I skipped yesterday and today because I absolutely thought I couldn't keep this up...
I already emailed my teachers saying I can't attend anymore..And they've emailed me back telling me to try and to come to school, and that everyone's wondering where I am..but I'm so embarrassed. On the outside it looks like I was given a great opportunity and just spat in the face of it after the first day...or that I'm some kind of a drama queen or quitter or something.
Im really trying but I know it doesn't look like it to other people.
I kind of feel, like I need to feel related to right now.
I know I have to go back tomorrow but it's just so difficult to do. Besides if I don't I'll be homeless.
Just wanted to share and maybe someone might have some insight for me. Thank you for reading all of this if you did ahaha.