Could anyone help me out? I need somone to talk to! Help!

MissingOut

MissingOut

Member
Hi i'm new here! :D
I've been looking on the web for good OCD online support groups, forums, or chats. Does anyone know of any other good ones? Or does anyone acctually get on the chat on here???

Anyways,
:arrow: I am 19 and have suffered from OCD for about 5 years now. I've been to therapy, phychologists, and i've been taking Zoloft for about 2 or 3 years now. Nothing seems to help! The medacine does help to calm me down a little, but my obsesseve thoughts are still there. My OCD is very weird... it used to be little things thats would bug me but i could end up controlling it... then about 3 years ago i ran into my ex best friend. We had stopped being friends because she got so into drugs. It turns out she got into doing a lot more drugs and was so messed up all the time. (i knew this b/c i was friends w/ some of her friends). She tapped on my shoulder at a coffee house to say hi to me. I acted like it didnt bother me and said hi back. When i got home i went crazy. Now (even being 3 years later) i think anything that my shoulder touched or that i touched that day in my house is "germy". If i touch something that i think is germy i have to put on tons of anti-bacterial hand lotion. It has become a real problem and has basically imprisonned me in my own room. It was a struggle to even get on the computer, but i am searching for help. I can't even leave my house that much, in fear that i will run into her or one of her friends and end up having another attack of "germs". It's hard for me to work, and i feel like im waisting my life away. I know its in my head but i can't stop.
Please help, it's tearing my family and my life apart!
 
Mustang6767c

Mustang6767c

Member
I am very sorry that you are experiencing all of this. I have a question for you? Do you feel like the OCD is governing everything you do? When I first got it and I started realizing that something was really wrong, I felt like it had full control over me. It took me some time before I realized that something needed to change. I began doing anything and everything that was opposite of how I was feeling. For example, if I had fears of germs I would little by little touch things around my house that would make me uncomfortable and see how long it took me to get used to it. After I did this with multiple problems I began seeing a change. I have had OCD for about 5 years and I was 16 when I first got it (I'm 22 now). I have had times where problems would come back and it really worried me because I thought that I had gotten past them. What I realized was if I acted right away and didn't let things get to me again I could learn better ways to control things. I understand that this may not be something that can be fixed permanently, but it can be controlled. Just believe in yourself, trust your family and find ways to act on your fears and fight back. The more you fight the better control you will have in the long run, and the less chance for any of the problems to reoccur. I hope this makes sense to you. I am happy to give advice if necessary and I hope you will ask questions if you need help. Good luck, keep your head up, and remember that you can fight this on your own and you can keep it under control.
 
MissingOut

MissingOut

Member
Thank you for your advice..
Yes i do feel like it controls everything i do. It controls everything in my life. In the 5 years that i have had it, i did get really good at controlling my obsessive thoughts once. Last summer was the best because i got a new friend and we did so much, going out and having fun, that it distracted me and i thought i was over it. she got a bf and moved out w/ him a little far away. i was ok w/ it cuz i got a new bf at the same time too. gradually my germ thing came back to bother me, creating new problems and broader things of what i thought was germy. it was still pretty controlled and i was seeing a therapist. i stopped taking my medacine since i was doin better and i was always out. after about a year we got engaged and got a place together. he is the best thing that ever happened to me, but hates to see me suffer over my ocd. i know its bad of him but he would always lysol things for me and do things for me i thought were too germy just to keep me happy. we learned in the long run he had been "feeding" my ocd instead of helping. but he just wanted so much for me to be happy he couldnt help it. about 2 months ago he got taken away to jail and we lost the apartment. i had to move back home and my ocd has been at its worst ever. thats when i couldnt even leave my room. i got back on my medacine and its getting a little better like now i cant at least come downstairs. and today he had a court and i just found out he will be there for 7 more months. :cry:
Its just soo hard w/out him b/c he helps me soo much w/ it and lets me go at my own pace. my family just kinda rushes me and says "just get over it already".
Today just made everything worse, i feel like just giving up.
 
Mustang6767c

Mustang6767c

Member
MissingOut said:
Thank you for your advice..
Yes i do feel like it controls everything i do. It controls everything in my life. In the 5 years that i have had it, i did get really good at controlling my obsessive thoughts once. Last summer was the best because i got a new friend and we did so much, going out and having fun, that it distracted me and i thought i was over it. she got a bf and moved out w/ him a little far away. i was ok w/ it cuz i got a new bf at the same time too. gradually my germ thing came back to bother me, creating new problems and broader things of what i thought was germy. it was still pretty controlled and i was seeing a therapist. i stopped taking my medacine since i was doin better and i was always out. after about a year we got engaged and got a place together. he is the best thing that ever happened to me, but hates to see me suffer over my ocd. i know its bad of him but he would always lysol things for me and do things for me i thought were too germy just to keep me happy. we learned in the long run he had been "feeding" my ocd instead of helping. but he just wanted so much for me to be happy he couldnt help it. about 2 months ago he got taken away to jail and we lost the apartment. i had to move back home and my ocd has been at its worst ever. thats when i couldnt even leave my room. i got back on my medacine and its getting a little better like now i cant at least come downstairs. and today he had a court and i just found out he will be there for 7 more months. :cry:
Its just soo hard w/out him b/c he helps me soo much w/ it and lets me go at my own pace. my family just kinda rushes me and says "just get over it already".
Today just made everything worse, i feel like just giving up.
Click to expand...

I know how you feel about it being rushed. I had the same thing because no one knew what it was and I never talked about it, not to mention where I come from things like this are unheard of. I have learned that it is not always a good idea to have someone distract you in order to get things off of your mind. You need to attack the problems head on and really try to understand why they are there. I used to have thoughts that came out of nowhere (I still do) and I finally realized it was necessary to really take a look at what they meant. I know it sounds weird but you really should try it. I have never touched any medicine and I have found ways by myself to deal with all of this. You can to, it's just a matter of finding something in you that will push you the extra mile. This sounds kinda lame but people are built pretty strong and if you want something bad enough you can make it happen. If you have any questions ever feel free to ask or pm me. I come on the forum every few days or so. Good Luck.
 
MissingOut

MissingOut

Member
How do i PM you? i'm still just getting used to this site. But i forgot to mention something about what u said about touching things i think r germy. well i saw a therapist for a little while a few months ago and she told me to do the same thing. go around and touch things i think r germy. starting w/ the things that least bothered me making my way up. i tried and gave up b/c i find it way too hard. i wish i was stronger! i dont know how to not give up. it drives me insane and i just have to put on hand sanatizer!! :cry:
 
Fidgey

Fidgey

Active member
Hi Missing out. Sorry to hear that your OCD has reached the point it has.
I had it when I was younger and it drove me friggin crazy. However when I was at school I knew I had to control it and even though it was mentally hard I could do it. As soon as I got home hand washing like crazy, checking things over and over again. I could not even read a book as I had to keep checking the same sentence over and over.
What worked for me was an antidepressant called Aropax 20. I was supposed to talk to a shrink but being a young man I was very ashamed and just took the medication. It worked after a few months. I continued taking it for another 12 months and my OCD never returned.

This is going to sound silly as well, bot OCD becomes a big part of your life. In the instant of taking the above antidepressant I went from a perfectionist to somewhat lazy and found it hard to adjust to a life without OCD. Life is 100 million times better without it though. :D
Now I just have to deal with social phobia which I am trying my best to deal with it.

I wish you all the best

Fidgey
 
MissingOut

MissingOut

Member
Wow thanks Fidgety. I am currently taking Citalopram at 20mg. I used to take Zoloft but it didnt help with my obsessive thoughts at all so the phychiatrist wanted me to try another medication. I will deffinately ask her about Aropax20. Did the obsessive thoughts just dissapear? or did u have to work on ignoring them as well? Im willing to try anything i can.
And i wish you luck on your social phobia! :)
 
Fidgey

Fidgey

Active member
Your welcome. I did not have to force anything. It just happened. Don't be too dissapointed if your antidepressants don't work for you. You sometimes have to keep trying until you find the one that works.
This is what I am doing at the moment with social phobia.
The only thing I have gained from them so far is weight this round :p

Also the above antidepressant Aropax is known as Paxil. It is called different names depending on where you are in the world. As I live in Australia it is called Aropax.

Regards
Fidgey
 
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